some internet survey
1. You can press a button that will make any one person explode. Who would you blow up?
If it’s a small explosion, it would have to be Sean Hannity. That way, I could watch the fair and balanced coverage of the Fox News desk, coverage mostly by little pieces of his brain. If it’s a large explosion, then definitely Nazi-Pope. It’s only worth it if he takes out the whole college of cardinals with him.
2. You can flip a switch that will wipe any band or musical artist out of existence. Which one will it be?
Creed- wait, didn’t someone already flip that switch?
3. Who would you really like to just punch in the face?
Pat Robertson. Of course, if he visited southern Mississippi after his recent remarks, I would probably have to take a number. But gosh, that would be an exciting wait.
4. What is your favorite cheese?
Locatelli. (an Italian goat-cheese which is like Romano squared)
5. You can only have one kind of sandwich. Every sandwich ingredient known to humankind is at your immediate disposal. What does your dream-sandwich consist of, and does it contain the aforementioned cheese?
A half-pound of ultra-rare venison burger with spicy mustard, pickles, sprouts and sautéed mushrooms on a whole wheat bun, after I’ve just killed the buck with my own hands. No cheese, thanks.
6. You have the opportunity to sleep with the movie-celebrity of your choice. We are talking no-strings-attached sex and it can only happen once (they will never call you back). Who is it?
Emmanuele Beart: my own personal date with an angel. Obscure reference, I know, but damn she’s hot.
7. You have the opportunity to sleep with the music-celebrity of your choice. Same rules as above. Who is it?
Probably Liz Phair, but at this point it would be a hardcore revenge fuck for the new album.
8. Now that you've slept with two different people in a row, you seem to be having an excellent day because you just came across a hundred-dollar bill on the sidewalk. Holy shit, a hundred bucks! How are you gonna spend it?
Gas money! Whoo-hoo.
9. You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go?
Somewhere with a great exchange rate- I don’t have that much cash on me…
10. Upon arrival to the aforementioned location, you get off the plane and discover another hundred-dollar bill. Shit! Now that you are in the new location, where are you gonna go to spend that?
Return ticket? Food? It’s not like it’s the fucking lottery.
11. An angel appears out of Heaven and offers you a lifetime supply of the alcoholic beverage of your choice. "Be brand-specific" it says. Man! What are you gonna say about that? Even if you don't drink booze there's something you can figure out ... so what's it gonna be?
Can I sell it? If so, probably something ridiculously expensive, like 100 yr old Scotch.
12. Rufus appears out of nowhere with a time-traveling phone booth. You can go anytime in the PAST. What time are you traveling to and what are you going to do when you get there?
The dawn of time; prove this creationism bullshit wrong once and for all.
13. You discover a beautiful island upon which you may build your own society. You make the rules. What is the first rule you put into place?
Everyone has the right to do whatever they want as long as they are not infringing upon the rights of anyone else. Well, that’s done. Go Locke.
15. What is your favorite expletive?
Shit.
16. One night you wake up because you heard a noise. You turn on the light to find that you are surrounded by MUMMIES. The mummies aren't really doing anything, they're just standing around your bed. What do you do?
Put some pants on. Perverted mummies.
17. Your house is on fire, holy shit! You have just enough time to run in there and grab ONE inanimate object. Don't worry, your loved ones and pets have already made it out safely. So what's the one thing you're going to save from that blazing inferno?
My house key- gosh, I’d be screwed without that!
18. The Angel Of Death has descended upon you. Fortunately, the Angel Of Death is pretty cool and in a good mood, and it offers you a half-hour to do whatever you want before you bite it. Whatcha gonna do in that half-hour?
Probably whatever I was just doing. Sounds like it was working.
19. You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what's even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice! What's it gonna be?
I’d have to go with the power to shunt backward and forward within my own timeline while retaining all knowledge I gain.
20. You can re-live any point of time in your life. The time-span can only be a half-hour, though. What half-hour of your past would you like to experience again?
Well, that was a great episode of According to Jim the other night…
21. You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?
Well, that was a great episode of According to Jim the other night…
22. You got kicked out of the country for being a time-traveling heathen who sleeps with celebrities and has super-powers. But check out this cool shit ... you can move to anywhere else in the world! Bitchin'! What country are you going to live in now?
Australia, I suppose.
27. What's your theme song?
“Beyond Belief” -Elvis Costello
If it’s a small explosion, it would have to be Sean Hannity. That way, I could watch the fair and balanced coverage of the Fox News desk, coverage mostly by little pieces of his brain. If it’s a large explosion, then definitely Nazi-Pope. It’s only worth it if he takes out the whole college of cardinals with him.
2. You can flip a switch that will wipe any band or musical artist out of existence. Which one will it be?
Creed- wait, didn’t someone already flip that switch?
3. Who would you really like to just punch in the face?
Pat Robertson. Of course, if he visited southern Mississippi after his recent remarks, I would probably have to take a number. But gosh, that would be an exciting wait.
4. What is your favorite cheese?
Locatelli. (an Italian goat-cheese which is like Romano squared)
5. You can only have one kind of sandwich. Every sandwich ingredient known to humankind is at your immediate disposal. What does your dream-sandwich consist of, and does it contain the aforementioned cheese?
A half-pound of ultra-rare venison burger with spicy mustard, pickles, sprouts and sautéed mushrooms on a whole wheat bun, after I’ve just killed the buck with my own hands. No cheese, thanks.
6. You have the opportunity to sleep with the movie-celebrity of your choice. We are talking no-strings-attached sex and it can only happen once (they will never call you back). Who is it?
Emmanuele Beart: my own personal date with an angel. Obscure reference, I know, but damn she’s hot.
7. You have the opportunity to sleep with the music-celebrity of your choice. Same rules as above. Who is it?
Probably Liz Phair, but at this point it would be a hardcore revenge fuck for the new album.
8. Now that you've slept with two different people in a row, you seem to be having an excellent day because you just came across a hundred-dollar bill on the sidewalk. Holy shit, a hundred bucks! How are you gonna spend it?
Gas money! Whoo-hoo.
9. You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go?
Somewhere with a great exchange rate- I don’t have that much cash on me…
10. Upon arrival to the aforementioned location, you get off the plane and discover another hundred-dollar bill. Shit! Now that you are in the new location, where are you gonna go to spend that?
Return ticket? Food? It’s not like it’s the fucking lottery.
11. An angel appears out of Heaven and offers you a lifetime supply of the alcoholic beverage of your choice. "Be brand-specific" it says. Man! What are you gonna say about that? Even if you don't drink booze there's something you can figure out ... so what's it gonna be?
Can I sell it? If so, probably something ridiculously expensive, like 100 yr old Scotch.
12. Rufus appears out of nowhere with a time-traveling phone booth. You can go anytime in the PAST. What time are you traveling to and what are you going to do when you get there?
The dawn of time; prove this creationism bullshit wrong once and for all.
13. You discover a beautiful island upon which you may build your own society. You make the rules. What is the first rule you put into place?
Everyone has the right to do whatever they want as long as they are not infringing upon the rights of anyone else. Well, that’s done. Go Locke.
15. What is your favorite expletive?
Shit.
16. One night you wake up because you heard a noise. You turn on the light to find that you are surrounded by MUMMIES. The mummies aren't really doing anything, they're just standing around your bed. What do you do?
Put some pants on. Perverted mummies.
17. Your house is on fire, holy shit! You have just enough time to run in there and grab ONE inanimate object. Don't worry, your loved ones and pets have already made it out safely. So what's the one thing you're going to save from that blazing inferno?
My house key- gosh, I’d be screwed without that!
18. The Angel Of Death has descended upon you. Fortunately, the Angel Of Death is pretty cool and in a good mood, and it offers you a half-hour to do whatever you want before you bite it. Whatcha gonna do in that half-hour?
Probably whatever I was just doing. Sounds like it was working.
19. You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what's even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice! What's it gonna be?
I’d have to go with the power to shunt backward and forward within my own timeline while retaining all knowledge I gain.
20. You can re-live any point of time in your life. The time-span can only be a half-hour, though. What half-hour of your past would you like to experience again?
Well, that was a great episode of According to Jim the other night…
21. You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?
Well, that was a great episode of According to Jim the other night…
22. You got kicked out of the country for being a time-traveling heathen who sleeps with celebrities and has super-powers. But check out this cool shit ... you can move to anywhere else in the world! Bitchin'! What country are you going to live in now?
Australia, I suppose.
27. What's your theme song?
“Beyond Belief” -Elvis Costello