Primary (And Secondary) Confusion - Part 7
Cannibal Candidate
Ever see one of those nature documentaries where the sharp-toothed razor-clawed mother gives birth to a snarling brood of hairless, pink, wrinkled, snarling offspring? And then she eviscerates a bunny rabbit, but the rabbit isn't enough to feed everyone so she has to eat one of them? Well, that's a bit like what the Republican party has become.
So far, election fraud was strictly hot Republican on Democratic inter-party action. The Republicans would kick black people to the curb, put voting machines designed by GOP donors in districts with a serious blue-shift, pass unnecessary voter ID laws, or just spread misinformation to depress turnout all in the name of winning without all that bother of actually having ideas or principles beyond, "We should be in charge." But no more. Elections fraud is no longer strictly hetero-secui, assuming my Latin is even close on this one.
This past weekend, McCain was declared the winner in one state: Washington, the we-have-a-caucus-and-a-primary state. There was something about Huckabee challenging the vote, but nothing specific was scrolling across my news feed and I was a little too busy to track it down. This is one of the down sides to throwing this stuff together in your spare time when you have no spare time.
Well, I've gone back into the tubes of the internets and it turns out the Republicans have stated to eat their own. Last Saturday night, Washington was totaling up the numbers from their caucuses and Luke Esser, head of the state Republican party, with 87% of precincts counted decided he could tell what was going to happen. 200 votes separated Huckabee and McCain, but he could tell the election was going to McCain. So he declared McCain the winner and stopped counting.
Now admittedly, I'm no elections expert, but it's my understanding that one generally counts all the votes before stopping. Sure, CNN can call the race whenever they damn well please, but who is Esser to say he knows which way things are going? Esser stated that he made the call when they "double[d] the margin of victory [in] every county where Huckabee beat McCain," and McCain still came out on top. What the hell was this, some random mathematical flight of fancy? Where is the science behind this? What kind of ass backwards random coin-toss algebraic shenanigans is this jerk trying to pull?
As of Monday, the total percentage of votes counted was up to 93% and McCain was still ahead, but his lead had shrunk from 2% to 1.6%.
While Huckabee is calling for a recount, it seems what he really needs is an initial full count. That being said, this was a caucus. So a recount will consist of calling the precincts to verify their vote counts. And with McCain's sweep of the primaries last night in Virginia, Maryland, and DC, the idea of a Huckabee resurgence is about as alive as a very dead thing.
Will You Still Call Me Superman?
Obama's win in the alliterative Potomac Primaries last night puts him in the lead for the first time in this race. He has, as far as I can recall, always held the lead in pledged delegates, but for the first time, he has the lead after superdelegates are factored in, 1,253 to 1,211. However, there are still 405 unpledged superdelegates out there. In addition, superdelegates may declare their support for a candidate, but until the convention, they can also shift that support. Obama's performance of late does put the pinch on them, sapping them of some of their super-powers, but they are by no means a non-factor. Each one of them, when you do the math, counts as much as 10,000 of us, which gives you an idea of what the party thinks of the average voter. Last check, I think we ranked somewhere between endorsements from Barbara Streisand and hotdogs bought off a DC street vendor. Mmmm...taste those beef hearts.
The next contests are in Wisconsin and Hawaii on February 19th. Ohio and Texas are slated for March 4th, and the two states are much larger prizes in terms of delegates at stake. But with the position that she's in, Clinton has had no choice but to campaign hard in Wisconsin. Her original plan, skipping Wisconsin and going straight to Texas was scrapped. It's hard say why when you consider how well the whole, "We're going to win in Florida," thing went for Guiliani. So Wisconsin will be a contest and all the other little civics nerds and myself will gather round the various news feeds and stare in wonderment as the numbers roll in. One more week of political geekdom before we take a couple weeks off.
It Came From Alaska
In other news, Mike Gravel refuses to drop out! He says he's going to run until November 3rd. He doesn't know how, but he plans to do it. I know what you're thinking. Maybe he doesn't mean it. "That's not idle talk," said Gravel. "If you know anything about my background, when I say something, I mean it." More people have voted for Ron Paul! I see several Ron Paul signs on my way to work. I have never, ever, seen a Mike Gravel sign anywhere. I've never seen a Mike Gravel supporter. He's like some kind of horror movie monster. You shoot it, you burn it, you keep it out of the debates and don't let it talk to the press...but it just won't die! Up next on channel 4, Harry Reid stars as the bumbling senate leader facing a FISA battle in, The Spooks and Mr. Chicken. Yeah, that's right. I went with a Don Knotts reference. Who wants a piece of me?!