Oh my fucking God!
I have been staring at the web site for Objective Ministries and for the life of me I cannot figure out of this is real or not. pynchon82 insists that it is a real, serious, albeit crazy, site. I am having a hard time believing it. I want everyone else's opinion on this one. Oh! And be sure to check out the fun activity page for kids with Free Downloadable Paper Action Figures! Check out the Do-It-Yourself Crucifixion Nail, which, "Makes a great Christmas ornament." Or Professor Griaffenstein's Clockwork Creation Science Factoidamajig. I swear I am not making up the following description:
Turn the crank and watch Professor Giraffenstein nod and move his arm.With every turn, one of six informative Creation Science fun facts will be displayed. This paper automata teaches mechanics, irreducible complexity, and scissor skills.
Then there's the cast of characters:
Mr. Gruff (a goat with a coffee mug, because only atheists drink evil coffee) - "Atheists such as crotchety old Mr. Gruff think they've got it all figured out...but then why are they always so sad? If you find an Atheist in your neighborhood, TELL A PARENT OR PASTOR RIGHT AWAY! You may be moved to try and witness to these poor lost souls yourself, however AVOID TALKING TO THEM! Atheists are often very grumpy and bitter and will lash out at children or they may even try to trick you into neglecting God's Word. Very advanced witnessing techniques are needed for these grouches. Let the adults handle them." (For the record, I have no idea how to trick someone into neglecting God's Word, let alone which particular word they have in mind...smite, maybe?)
Habu (an elephant with a red dot on his forehead and sporting the garb of a hari-krishna) - "Hey, Habu...How many gods do you have? Wouldn't you rather have just one God who loves you a bunch than a bunch of gods that don't love you at all? Jesus loves everybody, even the unsaved like Habu! Remember to pray for Habu and others like him that they find Jesus and accept Him into their hearts?"
I have no idea what is going on here, but whatever the case, it is fucking hilarious.
EDIT: I have been informed that Wikipedia says it is a hoax, which makes sense considering their suggested replacement for the American Flag (same thing only with GOD in big blue letters at the top). I mean, that's so damn stupid I find it hard to believe that anyone would put it forward as a suggestion. Nevertheless, check it out. It's still damn funny.
Turn the crank and watch Professor Giraffenstein nod and move his arm.With every turn, one of six informative Creation Science fun facts will be displayed. This paper automata teaches mechanics, irreducible complexity, and scissor skills.
Then there's the cast of characters:
Mr. Gruff (a goat with a coffee mug, because only atheists drink evil coffee) - "Atheists such as crotchety old Mr. Gruff think they've got it all figured out...but then why are they always so sad? If you find an Atheist in your neighborhood, TELL A PARENT OR PASTOR RIGHT AWAY! You may be moved to try and witness to these poor lost souls yourself, however AVOID TALKING TO THEM! Atheists are often very grumpy and bitter and will lash out at children or they may even try to trick you into neglecting God's Word. Very advanced witnessing techniques are needed for these grouches. Let the adults handle them." (For the record, I have no idea how to trick someone into neglecting God's Word, let alone which particular word they have in mind...smite, maybe?)
Habu (an elephant with a red dot on his forehead and sporting the garb of a hari-krishna) - "Hey, Habu...How many gods do you have? Wouldn't you rather have just one God who loves you a bunch than a bunch of gods that don't love you at all? Jesus loves everybody, even the unsaved like Habu! Remember to pray for Habu and others like him that they find Jesus and accept Him into their hearts?"
I have no idea what is going on here, but whatever the case, it is fucking hilarious.
EDIT: I have been informed that Wikipedia says it is a hoax, which makes sense considering their suggested replacement for the American Flag (same thing only with GOD in big blue letters at the top). I mean, that's so damn stupid I find it hard to believe that anyone would put it forward as a suggestion. Nevertheless, check it out. It's still damn funny.