Aazadiyan; Freedom
I've dropped doing so many stuff the nearer it is to my finals. The last k-drama I've watched was Kim Soohyun's alien one. The last book I read? Can't remember. I freak everytime I see the stacks of books I have to read and miraculously understand and memorized by... uh.. (checks countdown timer) 58 days minimum. That's barely shit, barely peanuts. I don't really mind the anhedonia. I've no time.
Lately I've been rewatching some Indian movies though. Literally one week before my obg internals I freaked and went about downloading them. I always have good timing, ugh.
I'd started with Irfan Khan's The Lunchbox. I had the worst case of phantom pain after that. A constant ache, dull and pulsing. Something about that movie quietly resonates with me. A friend said reviews saying it's boring, but I disagree. It's the kind of movie that needs to be slow and unassuming, because there's a lot of societal expectations that they're trying to approach and rebut there. It made me think. It made me feel. It made me exceedingly lonely. A few drops of tears squeezed out by the end, and it got me really angry at the open-but-not-really-open ending. In the end, everyone's still alone, but more at ease with their onemanship.
Freedom.
And then I went for Highway. It's not your usual romance movies, and I loved it. I cringed at some things-- because in the end, you're still the kidnapped kid, pls girl, but I know why she relished in the freedom away from the usual cages and it hurts. There was no mention of her triggering factors, so when they narrate the ugly shit to me, I turned away because how does one live with that horror hanging above you? And when they did what I know they would do to the guy, I was relieved. I'm ashamed. Because in this world what people see will be what you be punished or praised for, but what your intentions are will never make it anyhow better. I don't know if I'm making sense. But the songs. The songs, I loved them. Patakhi Gudi, especially the female version. So much rebellion in every inflection of the voice, nevermind I haven't actually went to check out its English translation. Basically, the movie. Makes you wonder what's your cage.
Freedom.
On the night I was to finish off my case writeups, I watched Udaan instead. I'm going blindly now, based on imdb's Related links. I was detached from Udaan, but I felt enough. I'm the kid who wants?? Doesn't want?? Is afraid of??? medicine, but here I am, 3 months shy from completing 5 years and I'm still floundering around, so yes, while I'm not as rebellious as main kid, I understood his fork in life, and I admire him toughing home out with as much dignity as he can muster, even if it physically hurts. I'm actually listening to the discography. It's very... indie. I'm listening to Indian songs, amazing right? I don't think I'll ever get to be as brave though, as I go down the songs. They tell me to fly, but I'm not sure my wings are strong or not. What if the muscles are atrophied from disuse, and I'll just be jumping straight to the ground, straight to my doom? But Aazaadiyan asks me to fly. I don't know if I can. But. But--
Freedom.
One day.
I still remember sobbing all over Taare Zameen Par. Man, that shit was so painful, because it's basically me compressed into a 10-year old kid's body. Minutes the dyslexic part. The part kid runs the laps nonstop, crying, as his parents and brother look on in confusion and pity and horror because he's so frustrated? Yeah, that's me.
Yes. You get quality Indian movies. No need to be so hung up over Shah Rukh Khan, lol I will still go and see his house if I ever get to visit Mumbai/Delhi lol it's a rite of passage xD Unfortunately you need to be creative with your searches.
I have Queen next on my list. Anybody wants to rec me movies along these veins?
Lately I've been rewatching some Indian movies though. Literally one week before my obg internals I freaked and went about downloading them. I always have good timing, ugh.
I'd started with Irfan Khan's The Lunchbox. I had the worst case of phantom pain after that. A constant ache, dull and pulsing. Something about that movie quietly resonates with me. A friend said reviews saying it's boring, but I disagree. It's the kind of movie that needs to be slow and unassuming, because there's a lot of societal expectations that they're trying to approach and rebut there. It made me think. It made me feel. It made me exceedingly lonely. A few drops of tears squeezed out by the end, and it got me really angry at the open-but-not-really-open ending. In the end, everyone's still alone, but more at ease with their onemanship.
Freedom.
And then I went for Highway. It's not your usual romance movies, and I loved it. I cringed at some things-- because in the end, you're still the kidnapped kid, pls girl, but I know why she relished in the freedom away from the usual cages and it hurts. There was no mention of her triggering factors, so when they narrate the ugly shit to me, I turned away because how does one live with that horror hanging above you? And when they did what I know they would do to the guy, I was relieved. I'm ashamed. Because in this world what people see will be what you be punished or praised for, but what your intentions are will never make it anyhow better. I don't know if I'm making sense. But the songs. The songs, I loved them. Patakhi Gudi, especially the female version. So much rebellion in every inflection of the voice, nevermind I haven't actually went to check out its English translation. Basically, the movie. Makes you wonder what's your cage.
Freedom.
On the night I was to finish off my case writeups, I watched Udaan instead. I'm going blindly now, based on imdb's Related links. I was detached from Udaan, but I felt enough. I'm the kid who wants?? Doesn't want?? Is afraid of??? medicine, but here I am, 3 months shy from completing 5 years and I'm still floundering around, so yes, while I'm not as rebellious as main kid, I understood his fork in life, and I admire him toughing home out with as much dignity as he can muster, even if it physically hurts. I'm actually listening to the discography. It's very... indie. I'm listening to Indian songs, amazing right? I don't think I'll ever get to be as brave though, as I go down the songs. They tell me to fly, but I'm not sure my wings are strong or not. What if the muscles are atrophied from disuse, and I'll just be jumping straight to the ground, straight to my doom? But Aazaadiyan asks me to fly. I don't know if I can. But. But--
Freedom.
One day.
I still remember sobbing all over Taare Zameen Par. Man, that shit was so painful, because it's basically me compressed into a 10-year old kid's body. Minutes the dyslexic part. The part kid runs the laps nonstop, crying, as his parents and brother look on in confusion and pity and horror because he's so frustrated? Yeah, that's me.
Yes. You get quality Indian movies. No need to be so hung up over Shah Rukh Khan, lol I will still go and see his house if I ever get to visit Mumbai/Delhi lol it's a rite of passage xD Unfortunately you need to be creative with your searches.
I have Queen next on my list. Anybody wants to rec me movies along these veins?