(no subject)
I think it's time for a public entry so here goes...
I hate math. I need a new major. I dispise this feeling because it remind me of how I felt when I was with Ryan and how I felt sophomore year of high school but atleast then I had a decent grade. I don't understand any of this and as crazy Mrs.Bell would say I'm at the level where I don't know what I don't know which is worse then knowing what it is you don't know.
I'm also coming to the realization that I'm completely lost( not literally) I have almost no clue what I am anymore and I am convinced this is not a good thing. So why am I telling this to the world? Mainly because I don't have anyone specifically to tell it to.
So at the moment I'm super stressed about math and the only thing that may fix that is to break down and cry but I feel silly crying over one class. except this is what I was going to do with my life. This is the only thing that I could really do well and now I don't even have that. So what do I have? I have stuck in my head the idea that I'm a complete failure and possibly only being used for a few things that someone else could do but it's more convient this way...if that makes any sense.
why is it so easy to not smile. GRRRRRRRRRRR this morning all was great and there were moments tonight but then I tried to do the math which was a mistake because I don't get it and I won't get it before this test and ...
I hate math. I need a new major. I dispise this feeling because it remind me of how I felt when I was with Ryan and how I felt sophomore year of high school but atleast then I had a decent grade. I don't understand any of this and as crazy Mrs.Bell would say I'm at the level where I don't know what I don't know which is worse then knowing what it is you don't know.
I'm also coming to the realization that I'm completely lost( not literally) I have almost no clue what I am anymore and I am convinced this is not a good thing. So why am I telling this to the world? Mainly because I don't have anyone specifically to tell it to.
So at the moment I'm super stressed about math and the only thing that may fix that is to break down and cry but I feel silly crying over one class. except this is what I was going to do with my life. This is the only thing that I could really do well and now I don't even have that. So what do I have? I have stuck in my head the idea that I'm a complete failure and possibly only being used for a few things that someone else could do but it's more convient this way...if that makes any sense.
why is it so easy to not smile. GRRRRRRRRRRR this morning all was great and there were moments tonight but then I tried to do the math which was a mistake because I don't get it and I won't get it before this test and ...