days til christmas and the truth comes out
i wasted away the hours until 12:18 today. chelsea called and asked me to pick her up from the train. i obliged.
Everyones lj has ulterior motives, social status and what have you. my motive was rather simple, get the attention of the beautiful young lady that i had fallen in love with at first sight and make her fall for me.
when she got in my car she hugged me, i went to kiss her as i always do, but she turned her head.
i wrote much the same thing that i would in my day to day diary, i found writing a great relief, it sorted out the voices in my head, gave them an output so they would stop bugging me. but i'd been stalking her lj for quite some time, so i made sure that the interesting things that i talked about in my day matched hers.
This had started a few days ago, when i was angry and drunk, i packed up her stuff, it was a misunderstanding, a break down of communication. I said that i din't think she was in love with me and that i was holding her back.
lj was a great source of relief for me, my words wern't just going into a box to be stored away, i acyually got some feedback, when i put out anguish i got a response, caring, antagonising, i felt like i was part of a community. but soon it turned into nothing more than trying to please that beautiful girl.
today she told me that i was right, she'd had a few days to mull it over and that it was the truth, she didn't feel like she could be with me.
every time i wrote after that i felt like saying "i'm sorry"
she kept saying "i'm sorry, i'm sorry".
goodbye livejournal, youve helped me do exactley what i wanted you for, youve helped me love someone who i knew i would get precious little time with. My time with her is over.
goodbye, thankyou and i love you.
Everyones lj has ulterior motives, social status and what have you. my motive was rather simple, get the attention of the beautiful young lady that i had fallen in love with at first sight and make her fall for me.
when she got in my car she hugged me, i went to kiss her as i always do, but she turned her head.
i wrote much the same thing that i would in my day to day diary, i found writing a great relief, it sorted out the voices in my head, gave them an output so they would stop bugging me. but i'd been stalking her lj for quite some time, so i made sure that the interesting things that i talked about in my day matched hers.
This had started a few days ago, when i was angry and drunk, i packed up her stuff, it was a misunderstanding, a break down of communication. I said that i din't think she was in love with me and that i was holding her back.
lj was a great source of relief for me, my words wern't just going into a box to be stored away, i acyually got some feedback, when i put out anguish i got a response, caring, antagonising, i felt like i was part of a community. but soon it turned into nothing more than trying to please that beautiful girl.
today she told me that i was right, she'd had a few days to mull it over and that it was the truth, she didn't feel like she could be with me.
every time i wrote after that i felt like saying "i'm sorry"
she kept saying "i'm sorry, i'm sorry".
goodbye livejournal, youve helped me do exactley what i wanted you for, youve helped me love someone who i knew i would get precious little time with. My time with her is over.
goodbye, thankyou and i love you.