(no subject)
i'm really just a mess right now to put it simple. i have to keep steppin up to the plate for my friends but because i wont talk bout my problems really or let anyone in i am left with all this baggage on my shoulders.
my memories are eating me alive, my regret is burning and its leaving these scars no one can see. its like im slowly killing myself becuas i feel inaddiquate. like im never good enough and i dunno. im pissed at myself. end of story -_-
i dotn think i will ever like who i am. you can tell me i should like myself or that im a good person but i wont believe you. because its not fruckin true.
and then im losing a bunch of friends as of tuesdya. im so bummed bout that too.
and then i want someone to notice me and im doing anything i can but they sitll dont notice me. maybe they just dont know what to do. wtf am i still trying though. its not gonna happen and i guess i will ocntinue to say i dont care and let things happen and because they wont end up going my way i will later on kick myself for not attempting to chagne it.
so frustrated with myself. -_-