dear sasha
DEAR SASHA,
I think im really happy right now. I can't help but compare my life right now to how it was a year ago. A year ago I was making myself into this person that just wasnt me to make someone else happy. And now, Im being encouraged to just be me. Being told Im perfect the way I am. With all my crazy quirks and wierdness. He loves every last little bit of it and doesnt want me to change a thing. And I dont have my usual urge to change into something I think he'll want more ^_^.
I dont have to make my hair a certain color. Or a certain style. I dont have to dress a certain way, i dont have to feel things that i dont believe in. I dont even have to pretend to hate people that i dont know. Im allowed to keep my friends. I dont have to check in every ten minutes. I check in just because I want to ^_^. I guess this is what a relationship is supposed to be like. Go figure the first person who doesnt tell me the same as the rest, actually shows me ^_^.
Im excited. I got my confirmation on unemployment today ^_^. Ill be getting three checks for my first one since subway's help it back for so long. My debt to Rick will be paid off. Not that he minds. He understands Its hard right now. He isnt even charging me rent anymore. That could be that i never really am here anymore lol.
I've been creative again as well. Ive been writting my book and making clothes and painting. Im even getting back into volunteer work this coming week. Im gonna read at the library and then go volunteer at the hospital as well. Ill feel better about getting money im not working for when im giving something back you know. i still dont know if im moving. I really dont want to anymore. I did promise goat though. I dunno. Ill figure it out eventually i suppose. Anyways. I gotta go, working on some x-mas presents for mom and jamie and pixi and the girls down south.
love always,
Sephy