desires of my heart
"But what do you think? A man had two sons, and he came to the first and said, 'Son, go, work today in my vineyard.' He answered and said, 'I will not,' but afterward he regretted it and went. Then he came to the second and said likewise, And he answered and said, 'I go, sir,' but he did not go. Which of the two did the will of his father? They said to Him,'The first.' " Matt. 28-31
i am at a point in my life where i'm extremely sick of talk and no action. everyone's done it, blown someone off, said something not truthful to make themselves looked better, or just straight up lied about it, but people don't realize how much they do it to God himself, who knows when you lie and are even thinking about your lie to Him. i don't even know how much i've lied to Him myself, which is amazing that i've done it so much, and how much i've deceived myself by allowing idle babble to take me as its hostage. last night at church, the message was that their are three levels of obeying God, the highest equals love. the first is talk, which means nothing..everyone says nice things that theyve done or will do, but few are sincere, God cares nothing for what one says. the next level is obediance. actually doing what God says is very important, but its not the highest because you can obey someone yet still hate them. the most important level of obediance to God is out of the heart. "For the Lord does not see as man sees; for man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart" 1 Sam. 16:7. therefore, we must desire to serve God for it to be any good, we must be transformed to serve God, not just do it out of obediance and hate it, you may as well serve youself because God does not need such things. i hate fake people, i hate being a fake person. i hate mere talk, and i hate babbling idly about stuff i will do, or i have done, or i want to do, and simply not doing it. i hate telling God i will serve Him, and just not doing it, and God hates it too. thank God for coach. thank God for my treasure being Him and not my own desires. and thank God for leading me to a point where i realize all this and can place it in words.
"For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also." Luke 12:34
As Johnny Cash once sang...
"i wear this crown of thorns
upon my liar's chair
full of broken thoughts
i cannot repair
beneath the stains of time
the feelings disappear
you are someone else
i am still right here"
and i'm still right here....