(no subject)
Today was the worst.
I'm getting worried about myself. I'm worried about being able to pull myself out of this funk.
I babysat until JUST now. since afterschool. and on my way home, my dad called and caught me off guard. I told him how I felt and now I feel like things are worse. I fell to pieces in the car. I cant even hear his voice without crying. God damnit I cant even talk about him without crying. I was watching caroline, the little girl I babysat for, interact with her dad and it hurt me so much. It really brings me down.
I hate him so much and yet I feel guilty for hating him and I have the hardest time with these mixed emotions. I feel like there is this huge hole in my heart and nothing is going to be able to fill it.
I cant stop crying.
and im sick of whining to other people about it. I just wish I could sleep for a while.
im so tired. emotionally.
I'm getting worried about myself. I'm worried about being able to pull myself out of this funk.
I babysat until JUST now. since afterschool. and on my way home, my dad called and caught me off guard. I told him how I felt and now I feel like things are worse. I fell to pieces in the car. I cant even hear his voice without crying. God damnit I cant even talk about him without crying. I was watching caroline, the little girl I babysat for, interact with her dad and it hurt me so much. It really brings me down.
I hate him so much and yet I feel guilty for hating him and I have the hardest time with these mixed emotions. I feel like there is this huge hole in my heart and nothing is going to be able to fill it.
I cant stop crying.
and im sick of whining to other people about it. I just wish I could sleep for a while.
im so tired. emotionally.