Six years today RIP April Marie Ledford
*sigh* It's wierd to think that 6 years ago today I lost my best friend. It's so crazy how at 17 you just never expect it to happen. It's true that teenagers just think they are invincible. Death just seems so far off. Just something that happens when you're old. The worst thing is at the age of 23 I can go into a few choice cemetaries and see more of my friend's or associations then I could if I threw a party. Every time I visit the one in covington I have like 4 people to visit. I actually read the obituaries now days. I expected that to be something you do when you are like 80. But the more I read it the more I see people I know. A couple years ago I found out an old ex of mine's Dad died. And of course the year after graduation the Valadictorian of our graduating class killed himself. And a few months later like 4 people I knew died in a car accident. Then two people I used to work with died! Too much death around here... not enough life. And then of course it's my Mom's birthday also today. I'm sure she thinks of Marie's accident and considers it a birthday present from God that I wasn't in the car when Marie died. But I always think of it and ask what if? What if I hadn't stayed after in class with Mr. Patel? What if they had waited 15 more minutes for me? Would we have missed the accident completely? Would I have been the one who died and not Marie? Would I have been able to help her? Would I have been the one driving instead and averted the crisis completely because I'm a better driver? Too many questions... not enough answers. *sigh*