(no subject)
i had another dream about him.
i saw him, rain running down his face, dripping from his hair and he was so beautiful i couldn't speak. turned away, pretending not to notice. he calls my name and i can't resist the lure.suddenly, he is not so wonderful anymore. his face has changed and clearly he's on drugs. he is shaking and weak and vomiting. he is not so beautiful after all.
but in the rain he was a god.
i am asking you kindly now to leave. i've asked you before but you did not abide. i will never know you. you will never know me. once we did. once long long ago. we are not those people anymore and i do not love you. i don't know how to bury you the way you did me. i don't know how to mean i don't want you here when i say it. the truth is, if i ever saw your eyes inches from mine again, i would forgive you everything and inevitably i'd tear open my chest to expose my soft still fragile core that never grew into the scar tissue i tried to create. i would sew you inside and you'd never get out and i'd never get on and how i hope i never see your eyes again inches from my own.
i saw him, rain running down his face, dripping from his hair and he was so beautiful i couldn't speak. turned away, pretending not to notice. he calls my name and i can't resist the lure.suddenly, he is not so wonderful anymore. his face has changed and clearly he's on drugs. he is shaking and weak and vomiting. he is not so beautiful after all.
but in the rain he was a god.
i am asking you kindly now to leave. i've asked you before but you did not abide. i will never know you. you will never know me. once we did. once long long ago. we are not those people anymore and i do not love you. i don't know how to bury you the way you did me. i don't know how to mean i don't want you here when i say it. the truth is, if i ever saw your eyes inches from mine again, i would forgive you everything and inevitably i'd tear open my chest to expose my soft still fragile core that never grew into the scar tissue i tried to create. i would sew you inside and you'd never get out and i'd never get on and how i hope i never see your eyes again inches from my own.