numb
Why do I feel so numb, so disconnected from everything I know and love. The fractured images of reality don't co-inside with each other like the high gloss mirror it used to be. I bow my head in rememberance of the person I used to be and close my eyes to blind myself from what I am becoming. If there ever was a funeral for the many "me's" of the past, how come I was not informed. I would've love to attended and told my old self what a fool I was. Though the present if filled with loved ones friends, family etc. alike, I feel totaly alone and in the dark. What a familiar place this is, the fragments of the husk that used to be me still litter the floor that has calcified and started to rust from all the tears I've cried. The walls still blanketed in the cryptic writtings of the voices that called out to me from the edge of the abyss. The spectral eyes of some creature that still has yet to let go, pierce through me. And when I find myself wanting to sink back into the pain and misery of myself made prison, the light erupts from over the horizon and reminds me that I am past all that and tells me that tomorrow is another day. (sigh) another day of what though, more routine, still that feeling of disconnection and wonderment. Maybe I'll just continue down the path I am on now and find the righteous reward for which I have sought for soo long. I just need to remind myself that the old containment is not for me anymore, and it will never be a part of my life again. I don't want it. Where is my Phoenix, and where shall we go from here?