(no subject)
so nikki broke up with me and i moved into my moms house. i live 3 hours away from my daughter and the only girl ive ever loved. i feel like shit. i slept for 12 last night. i never do that anymore.
yeah ive been a big fucking jerk. i know. i didnt realize it then, but i do now and im doing all i can to change.. it doesnt seem to matter to nikki though. i feel like shes made up her mind and she wants nothing to do with me.
i cant even convince her to try and work through this.. i dont know why she wants to be single so bad. i figured she would want to try and work this out for our daughter be she does not care at all that zeta only has a part time dad now. at least it seems that way.
i hope having a break from each other helps and she reconsiders working this out, but i doubt it. in a couple weeks she will start sleeping with this smelly horses ass named mike and it will be all over for me. she says that wont happen because shes not that way, well, i dont believe that for a second. she likes him, he likes her, its only a matter of a couple weeks of them living together..... thats the thing that bothers me the most, shes moving in with her friend erin and this giant sweaty asshole mike. (thats how he smells, seriously.. he was in our van for 2 minutes and it smelled like anus for 5 days)
i dont trust those people with my daughter, but i have no say. nothing has gone my way, wont ever.
im trying to stay positive and get this knee fixed, thats why im down here.
but if she doesnt come back to me....
yeah ive been a big fucking jerk. i know. i didnt realize it then, but i do now and im doing all i can to change.. it doesnt seem to matter to nikki though. i feel like shes made up her mind and she wants nothing to do with me.
i cant even convince her to try and work through this.. i dont know why she wants to be single so bad. i figured she would want to try and work this out for our daughter be she does not care at all that zeta only has a part time dad now. at least it seems that way.
i hope having a break from each other helps and she reconsiders working this out, but i doubt it. in a couple weeks she will start sleeping with this smelly horses ass named mike and it will be all over for me. she says that wont happen because shes not that way, well, i dont believe that for a second. she likes him, he likes her, its only a matter of a couple weeks of them living together..... thats the thing that bothers me the most, shes moving in with her friend erin and this giant sweaty asshole mike. (thats how he smells, seriously.. he was in our van for 2 minutes and it smelled like anus for 5 days)
i dont trust those people with my daughter, but i have no say. nothing has gone my way, wont ever.
im trying to stay positive and get this knee fixed, thats why im down here.
but if she doesnt come back to me....