[writers_muses Prompt 47.1.G]
"It was common knowledge that my marriage was merely one of convenience -- but when aren't they?"
Sometimes at night, lying on her bunk in the Demetrius, Kara thinks about Anders.
Not why she's sleeping with him, she knows why she's doing that--it's not a mystery, not with all the tension and the recriminating looks and the barely-concealed skepticism that surrounds her--a girl's gotta work off tension, doesn't she, and she doesn't trust anyone to spar with her and not go for the throat. Sex is easy and Anders is good, he keeps up, he knows she doesn't want light touches and sweet words. No, she thinks about why she married him, why she made promises she never intended to keep.
She could have had Lee. She could have him now, maybe; if he's not afraid of her, doesn't think she's been made strange after coming back talking about Earth, doesn't think she's a Cylon. The desire, the determination; it makes her eyes look fierce, predatory--more so than usual. Like she's hunting Cylons, like she's back hunting Scar--hurtling through space with one single, solitary goal and nothing but the pursuit of it in her mind. She knows she looks mad, half-crazed. But she's not crazy. They will find Earth. Maybe that frakking weirdo Leoben is right and she does have a destiny, after all.
Anders is a good guy. He's brave, and thoughtful, and after sex he never tries to hold her, never tries to say anything sweet, never tries to reassure her. She tells him the crew is on the verge of mutiny and he doesn't respond with anything that's a lie. He pushes her back down on her bunk, kisses her, and she can tell he's angry; at her, at the crew, at himself for coming back after all that's happened. It's all right. Sex with him is like fighting, and that's all Kara knows how to do.
Sometimes she thinks maybe she should tell him she's sorry for marrying him. Besides fight, the only other thing Kara knows how to do is run.
Sometimes at night, lying on her bunk in the Demetrius, Kara thinks about Anders.
Not why she's sleeping with him, she knows why she's doing that--it's not a mystery, not with all the tension and the recriminating looks and the barely-concealed skepticism that surrounds her--a girl's gotta work off tension, doesn't she, and she doesn't trust anyone to spar with her and not go for the throat. Sex is easy and Anders is good, he keeps up, he knows she doesn't want light touches and sweet words. No, she thinks about why she married him, why she made promises she never intended to keep.
She could have had Lee. She could have him now, maybe; if he's not afraid of her, doesn't think she's been made strange after coming back talking about Earth, doesn't think she's a Cylon. The desire, the determination; it makes her eyes look fierce, predatory--more so than usual. Like she's hunting Cylons, like she's back hunting Scar--hurtling through space with one single, solitary goal and nothing but the pursuit of it in her mind. She knows she looks mad, half-crazed. But she's not crazy. They will find Earth. Maybe that frakking weirdo Leoben is right and she does have a destiny, after all.
Anders is a good guy. He's brave, and thoughtful, and after sex he never tries to hold her, never tries to say anything sweet, never tries to reassure her. She tells him the crew is on the verge of mutiny and he doesn't respond with anything that's a lie. He pushes her back down on her bunk, kisses her, and she can tell he's angry; at her, at the crew, at himself for coming back after all that's happened. It's all right. Sex with him is like fighting, and that's all Kara knows how to do.
Sometimes she thinks maybe she should tell him she's sorry for marrying him. Besides fight, the only other thing Kara knows how to do is run.