LoSiNg It...
I know I havn't posted in awhlie, but I have dealing with some shit, and i think this may very well be my last post.... I have lived the best I can and it still isn't good enough for people. I tried being the friendly stoner. Sure I made some friends along the way, but friends can't always fill the void that sits in the pit of your stomach. I always put others before me. If there was anything that I could do for anyone, I did it with out question (without making myself someone's bitch). Anytime that I had a girl, a great relationship, someone that I could actually see myself with for the rest of my life, I fukkked it up. Everytime. I hurt myself mentally, but I killed them emotionally. I hear things like, I dont know how I'll ever get over you. I dont know what I will do without you. I can't believe you. I hate you and I never want to hear from you again... that can be arranged... Now, someone that I was inches away from proposing to, is getting married and is rubbing it all up in my face. I shoulda seen she was a whore from the beginning. The first night i hung out with this bitch, she was goin down my pants in a restaurant in front of my friends... didn't mind, but still i was already in love with this and didn't pay any attention to the red flags flying up everywhere. Then goin and hookin up with one of my best friends, you've gotta be shittin me. O well, I'm about to make things better for a lot of people. I won't be a drain on anyone anymore. These feelings will soon be gone....