Richard Armitage: Between the Sheets and Cold Feet
BETWEEN THE SHEETS:
It's kind a downer, and for the first two weeks after watching this show I kind of lost hope for Richard as nothing more than a cheating bleeding bastard, but there's a silver lining:
That is maybe the cutest thing I have ever seen. Aww, look: he's waking up!
Between the Sheets is six part miniseries from 2003 that centers around two couples and their sexual problems. An elderly couple, played by Brenda Blenthyn (Pride and Prejudice, Little Voice, a shit load of other things) and Alun Armstrong (Little Dorrit and a shit load of other stuff) go to a sex therapist to sort out their marital problems. Both actors I've seen in strangely sexual older parts before, so it makes it a little less like watching your parents have sex when these two do the nasty. Also, Alun is Allan A Dale's father! They have the same weird ass nose.
P.S. I'm really starting to like Allan in Robin Hood Season 3, even though his father is a scary inbred bastard from Sparkhouse. I only hope Allan can one day grow such majestic eyebrows.
Anyway. The story also follows the sex therapist and her problems with her live in boyfriend of nine years, Richard. Sex Therapist can't concentrate on her job because Richard, a youth counselor, is accused of boning his hot little charge. He didn't do it, and she believes him, but their relationship suffers from pre-existing problems. Sex Therapist has hang ups since her last husband died of cancer, and Richard has been withholding sex for unknown reasons. Problems! We must talk about them! See, this show's actually right up my alley.
The show brings up some very interesting things about relationships and there is stalwart acting all around. Plus, BONUS: LOTS of sex scenes. Nakedness galore from Richard, including intimate butt massage moment! Weird! He's really hot, and he has a cute short haircut that is kind of reddish in color (...is Richard a redhead?) and sometimes he's really nice and wears funny posh clothes and he has a little daughter that he loves. Also, this is when the couple first met:
OH NO!!
Every time I think you do me right, Richard, you always do me wrong. The sunglasses, the Oasis shirt, OH, the goatee! Hmm, do you think the director wants us to know the date of their first meeting? It's almost the same as wearing a shirt that says "THIS WAS BLOODY TEN YEARS AGO, FOLKS."
There. That's a little better.
In their first meeting, Richard brings up two plates of bbq, and, as a pick-up line, says "chicken or beef?" She just walks away, and then he looks down at his food. I'd be like. Shit. Now I have to eat all this myself. The next scene, he follows her into the house with no food in his hands. I'd be worried about wasting the food, and maybe not go inside until I get rid of it, eat it, or descreetly hide it in the nearest trash can. By the time I go into to find her, she's probably moping about in another part of the house, and then, I'm a little bit full from the food, so I stop looking. Maybe this is why I never meet men.
Enough! Moving on!
COLD FEET
Richard is in the fifth and final season of Cold Feet, and 1997 dramedy about men shitting out about romantic commitments. Sounds good already, doesn't it? I tried to start from the beginning, but I just couldn't get over the men. The men whine about commitments, stare scared into the eyes of women like they are strange harpies solely bent on "catching a man" and the women are too hot for their counterparts. The men are cheating assholes, and the women just fucking take it.
Despite the obvious sexism, the show is funny. It was actually really popular when it was on, and I can see why. The male characters, especially the main one is really funny, and relatable, and builds on real life experience. It's the women that don't make fucking sense. We follow three couples over five years: the newly togethered (the main one), the married and falling apart (a horrible cheating bastard and the awesome blonde woman from Spooks), and the already fell apart (enter the fat one we get to make fun of). By season five the fat one has a new bird who is a thousand points hotter than him, and all problems ensue from his fatness. And she's not that cool anyway. Why? She sleeps with this!
While Important Things happen with all the main characters, the racistly stereotypical Spanish nanny from falling apart couple sneaks into posh falling apart couple's member only gym and meets Richard and his genitals. He plays cocky sexy personal trainer who is the assholiest of them all! They flirt, she "catches" him by playing hard to get. He runs to the pub, she washes his clothes. He flirts with clients, and she moves into his flat and cleans his house. Spanish nanny makes hilarious grammatical errors like "working it out" instead of "working out." Hilarious!
Then, DEATH. One of the main characters, the one that I finally started to like, effing dies on me, thank you very much. It's just hype all over the place. We watch the death, then the fateful rush to the hospital bed, then the funeral, then the slow drive up of the hearse, and the slow walk into the church... I didn't even like this show, why do have to sit through this incredibly sad hyped up funeral? We do it all, deal with every stage of grief, and it's all so very sad.
...Meanwhile, Richard dillydallies and plays immature drinking games on a personal trainer retreat! Oh, the beer pong that will be played!
Surprise! The ill-conceived drinking game was actually a ploy to get clothes off and drunk and later have sex with women who might not be into them! Yes! Girl on left of Richard is Girl Who is 1000 Points Hotter than Fat Guy, and she stupidly goes along with the ploy and stupidly sleeps with asshole Richard, though married to someone else. Though, slept with Richard, so plus. Clearly all their problems come from the fact that she doesn't actually like her husband, and clearly that is because he is fat.
So, cheating bastard (again). And then Racistly Stereotypical Girlfriend starts to find out, and they race to find his phone that's hidden in the nest of blankets on a checkboard that is supposed to be his bed, in the ugliest bachelor pad ever seen.
She finds out, and it's sad. DOWNER. Wow, that show was such a downer. Death, adultery, and grief, AND Richard is a cheating asshole. He freaking proposes to Girlfriend just to keep her quiet and then someone goes "you're getting married!" He shrugs "we're just engaged." Gah! Save me from proposals of marriage with a "hush" incentive.
So, two shows that were downers in different ways: one, where he was cute and hot and multifaceted, but bad in a way that made me feel very uncomfortable, another where was just a useless (sexy) lout. Yay for the Richard Armitage festival so far.
It's kind a downer, and for the first two weeks after watching this show I kind of lost hope for Richard as nothing more than a cheating bleeding bastard, but there's a silver lining:
That is maybe the cutest thing I have ever seen. Aww, look: he's waking up!
Between the Sheets is six part miniseries from 2003 that centers around two couples and their sexual problems. An elderly couple, played by Brenda Blenthyn (Pride and Prejudice, Little Voice, a shit load of other things) and Alun Armstrong (Little Dorrit and a shit load of other stuff) go to a sex therapist to sort out their marital problems. Both actors I've seen in strangely sexual older parts before, so it makes it a little less like watching your parents have sex when these two do the nasty. Also, Alun is Allan A Dale's father! They have the same weird ass nose.
P.S. I'm really starting to like Allan in Robin Hood Season 3, even though his father is a scary inbred bastard from Sparkhouse. I only hope Allan can one day grow such majestic eyebrows.
Anyway. The story also follows the sex therapist and her problems with her live in boyfriend of nine years, Richard. Sex Therapist can't concentrate on her job because Richard, a youth counselor, is accused of boning his hot little charge. He didn't do it, and she believes him, but their relationship suffers from pre-existing problems. Sex Therapist has hang ups since her last husband died of cancer, and Richard has been withholding sex for unknown reasons. Problems! We must talk about them! See, this show's actually right up my alley.
The show brings up some very interesting things about relationships and there is stalwart acting all around. Plus, BONUS: LOTS of sex scenes. Nakedness galore from Richard, including intimate butt massage moment! Weird! He's really hot, and he has a cute short haircut that is kind of reddish in color (...is Richard a redhead?) and sometimes he's really nice and wears funny posh clothes and he has a little daughter that he loves. Also, this is when the couple first met:
OH NO!!
Every time I think you do me right, Richard, you always do me wrong. The sunglasses, the Oasis shirt, OH, the goatee! Hmm, do you think the director wants us to know the date of their first meeting? It's almost the same as wearing a shirt that says "THIS WAS BLOODY TEN YEARS AGO, FOLKS."
There. That's a little better.
In their first meeting, Richard brings up two plates of bbq, and, as a pick-up line, says "chicken or beef?" She just walks away, and then he looks down at his food. I'd be like. Shit. Now I have to eat all this myself. The next scene, he follows her into the house with no food in his hands. I'd be worried about wasting the food, and maybe not go inside until I get rid of it, eat it, or descreetly hide it in the nearest trash can. By the time I go into to find her, she's probably moping about in another part of the house, and then, I'm a little bit full from the food, so I stop looking. Maybe this is why I never meet men.
Enough! Moving on!
COLD FEET
Richard is in the fifth and final season of Cold Feet, and 1997 dramedy about men shitting out about romantic commitments. Sounds good already, doesn't it? I tried to start from the beginning, but I just couldn't get over the men. The men whine about commitments, stare scared into the eyes of women like they are strange harpies solely bent on "catching a man" and the women are too hot for their counterparts. The men are cheating assholes, and the women just fucking take it.
Despite the obvious sexism, the show is funny. It was actually really popular when it was on, and I can see why. The male characters, especially the main one is really funny, and relatable, and builds on real life experience. It's the women that don't make fucking sense. We follow three couples over five years: the newly togethered (the main one), the married and falling apart (a horrible cheating bastard and the awesome blonde woman from Spooks), and the already fell apart (enter the fat one we get to make fun of). By season five the fat one has a new bird who is a thousand points hotter than him, and all problems ensue from his fatness. And she's not that cool anyway. Why? She sleeps with this!
While Important Things happen with all the main characters, the racistly stereotypical Spanish nanny from falling apart couple sneaks into posh falling apart couple's member only gym and meets Richard and his genitals. He plays cocky sexy personal trainer who is the assholiest of them all! They flirt, she "catches" him by playing hard to get. He runs to the pub, she washes his clothes. He flirts with clients, and she moves into his flat and cleans his house. Spanish nanny makes hilarious grammatical errors like "working it out" instead of "working out." Hilarious!
Then, DEATH. One of the main characters, the one that I finally started to like, effing dies on me, thank you very much. It's just hype all over the place. We watch the death, then the fateful rush to the hospital bed, then the funeral, then the slow drive up of the hearse, and the slow walk into the church... I didn't even like this show, why do have to sit through this incredibly sad hyped up funeral? We do it all, deal with every stage of grief, and it's all so very sad.
...Meanwhile, Richard dillydallies and plays immature drinking games on a personal trainer retreat! Oh, the beer pong that will be played!
Surprise! The ill-conceived drinking game was actually a ploy to get clothes off and drunk and later have sex with women who might not be into them! Yes! Girl on left of Richard is Girl Who is 1000 Points Hotter than Fat Guy, and she stupidly goes along with the ploy and stupidly sleeps with asshole Richard, though married to someone else. Though, slept with Richard, so plus. Clearly all their problems come from the fact that she doesn't actually like her husband, and clearly that is because he is fat.
So, cheating bastard (again). And then Racistly Stereotypical Girlfriend starts to find out, and they race to find his phone that's hidden in the nest of blankets on a checkboard that is supposed to be his bed, in the ugliest bachelor pad ever seen.
She finds out, and it's sad. DOWNER. Wow, that show was such a downer. Death, adultery, and grief, AND Richard is a cheating asshole. He freaking proposes to Girlfriend just to keep her quiet and then someone goes "you're getting married!" He shrugs "we're just engaged." Gah! Save me from proposals of marriage with a "hush" incentive.
So, two shows that were downers in different ways: one, where he was cute and hot and multifaceted, but bad in a way that made me feel very uncomfortable, another where was just a useless (sexy) lout. Yay for the Richard Armitage festival so far.