love to hurt (3/8) Uruha/Ruki
Title: love to hurt.
Chapter: 3/8
Author: buriedinheart
Genre: angst, romance
Warnings: abuse, language, pain, sex, self harm, eating disorder, suicide attempt
Disclaimer: I own no one.
Rating: PG13
Pairing: Uruha x Ruki
Bands: the GazettE
Synopsis: Loving hurts. Abuse is the only way Uruha knows how to express his love.
Comments: This is my first fanfic ever! im not kidding, its the first time i've written one. i love the gazette though - and angst. so please comment if you've read and leave me feedback. thanks ! ^^
Previous chapters: buriedinheart.livejournal.com/tag/fanfic%3A%20love%20to%20hurt
With every step he took toward the lift lobby, Ruki felt a growing sense of dread, feet pounding on the carpeted walkway slowly, covering as less distance as he possibly could. Reita noticed, and immediately announced: ‘’Ruki, can you please hurry the fuck up. One, Sakai is going to kill us, you know that, and two, its fucking cold and we’re all tired, half - asleep zombies, so the faster we get home the faster we get out of this hellish tour. ‘’ Reita sighed with annoyance, lugging the two heavy suitcases behind him, footsteps quickening in new found urgency, desperate for a hot coffee he knew was waiting for him downstairs.
Ruki conspicuously tried to hurry up but slow down at the same time, resulting in the small man taking awkwardly placed steps. He thought Reita wouldn’t notice though, the bassist was yawning and rubbing his eyes in exhaustion, sighing with every breath he exhaled. Ruki stood next to Reita, all quiet breathing and silent shaking of his hands. His eyes traveled to the display at the top of the lift doors, numbers changing as the lift ascended to his floor, his heart beating hard as the lift neared his floor. His eyes tracked the glowing red numbers, - 29, 30…..31.
31.
Reita stepped into the lift as the steel doors opened, fingers jabbing at the button that would bring the two men to the lift lobby, where the rest of the band was waiting. Ruki breathed hard, air escaping his lungs in gasps as he tried to silent them, his heart palpitating in fear of Uruha’s absence and Reita’s noticing of his condition. Reita frowned at the sounds, glancing at his friend. ‘’Ruki, did you just had sex with Uruha just now or something?’’ He said, eyes widening as he stared at Ruki’s covered face.
Ruki’s heart stilled, a million thoughts rushing into his head, his fear multiplied by a hundred-fold. He didn’t think Reita would notice, what with the beanie and the oversized sunglasses covering half of his face. ‘’Uh… what? Why?’’ Ruki managed to breathe out, words fumbling out of his bruised lips, struggling to maintain some kind of coherency.
‘‘Because you’re breathing really hard. And why are you covered like that?’’ Reita glanced at Ruki’s face in curiosity, eyes travelling the expanse of the small area of revealed skin, finally finding the bruise at the corner of Ruki’s plush lips, the split lip red and glaring and out of place and wrong. Curiosity turned to vermillion anger.
The one thing Ruki couldn’t hide.
Reita gripped Ruki’s arm then, hard, leaving imprints on thin pale skin, as he pulled the smaller man closer to him for inspection. Reita frowned, the crease between his eyebrows sharpening, like a knife that cut through the bassist’s exhausted expression. Not tired now though. Shocked and worried. Reita’s eyes widened as Ruki hissed in pain, the gasp escaping his lips, a tell tale sign of the abuse inflicted on his small body.
‘’Fuck. Let go Reita!’’ Ruki exclaimed angrily, pulling his arm out of the other’s grip. Reita was stronger though, anger lending him force. He held onto Ruki’s arm in a death grip, a myriad of emotions crossing his face like the ocean ebbing and flowing. ‘’He hurt you again, didn’t he? ‘’ A whisper left the bassist’s lips, fear and anger ghosting in his sepia eyes.
‘’N-no… Reita you’re hurting me. Please. ‘’ Ruki growled feebly, tears forming in the corner of his eyes, pain and shame cascading in torrents in his body. He struggled, trying in vain to escape from Reita’s fingers ghosting up his arm, leaving a trail of fear in their wake. Reita pulled the arm sleeve of Ruki’s black oversized turtleneck up, harshly exposing deepening purple bruises and streaks of crimson on Ruki’s abused skin. Ruki stilled, it was no use now. Exhaustion overwhelmed him suddenly; his very bones were tired of this. All of this.
He looked away, tears leaving his eyes in droplets, tiny rivulets running down his face. ‘’I fell. While showering.’’ Ruki whispered, the pathetic excuse fumbling out of his mouth, noir eyes afraid to look at sepia ones, instead finding temporary solace in the changing red numbers, willing for the lift to reach the lobby at breakneck speed. Anything, anything was better than his best friend finding out how tragic and fucked up he was, how his one-sided love got him abused. Used and abused. He liked that phrase, he repeated it again in his head, licking his lips but only tasting the sharp metallic taste of his own blood, reminding him how much of a coward, of a loser he was.
‘’That’s what you said the last time, and we both know the truth.’’ Reita hissed, anger clouding his eyes, fear and concern giving way to rage at the man who hurt his best friend like that.
Ruki could feel himself breaking inside, he could not even cry anymore. He looked away, saying nothing. Words were useless, pain was anesthesia, he was broken glass personified. He could not find the shattered pieces left to fix himself again. A broken cause.
The lift doors finally opened, cold air flooding into the enclosed space, clearing tension and anger heavy in the air. Reita let go of Ruki’s arm and turned away from the smaller man, silently pulling the suitcases out of the lift, rage showing only in the white, bone-dry knuckles of his hands, gripping the handles of the suitcases harshly.
Ruki stepped out of the lift, head down, as he tried to still the overwhelming rejection he felt in crashing waves. He wanted to cry, but he was out of tears.
And so Ruki told himself to be strong, to get through the bus ride home and he just wanted to get home, to bed. He felt weak, like he could crumble physically any moment. He stared at the carpeted floor, wishing he could just disappear into it.
Reita’s shout got his attention though. He snapped his head up; so hard and fast, he heard his spine crack.
‘’You fucking bastard, you fucking piece of shit, fuck you!’’ Reita shouted as he stepped toward Uruha, footsteps hard and purposeful, rage burning in him, fists clenched tight. His eyes were angry slits, he could only see the tall guitarist smoking casually outside the hotel, while Ruki was broken and hurt and bleeding and it was his best friend and he just couldn’t sit still any longer, he had to save Ruki, because Ruki couldn’t save himself -
Reita punched Uruha squarely in the jaw, the guitarist widening his eyes in surprise as the impact hit his delicate face, Uruha’s head thrown back in pain. Uruha stumbled backwards, hissing at the pain that clouded his eyes for a moment. His eyes locked onto Reita’s cold brown orbs, seeing only burning fire in them, all traces of usual friendliness gone. Uruha looked away, fingers automatically brushing the area, gasping as the pain shot through his jaw. The fucker had punched him, hard.
Uruha narrowed his eyes, the drug and alcohol haze dissipating from his head in a flash. He pulled his arm back fast and punched the bassist back, hitting Reita in the eye. Reita growled through the blossoming pain, strong arms reaching to push the taller man back harshly, staring in contempt as Uruha hit the concrete his spine making contact with the ground in an explosion of pain.
‘‘What the fuck is going on!?’’ Shouts rang out, cutting the stunned silence into red shreds, everyone rushing towards the two snarling men.
Ruki stopped breathing.
A/N: sorry it took so long for me to update! im not really satisfied with my writing here, but oh well. .___. do comment!
Chapter: 3/8
Author: buriedinheart
Genre: angst, romance
Warnings: abuse, language, pain, sex, self harm, eating disorder, suicide attempt
Disclaimer: I own no one.
Rating: PG13
Pairing: Uruha x Ruki
Bands: the GazettE
Synopsis: Loving hurts. Abuse is the only way Uruha knows how to express his love.
Comments: This is my first fanfic ever! im not kidding, its the first time i've written one. i love the gazette though - and angst. so please comment if you've read and leave me feedback. thanks ! ^^
Previous chapters: buriedinheart.livejournal.com/tag/fanfic%3A%20love%20to%20hurt
With every step he took toward the lift lobby, Ruki felt a growing sense of dread, feet pounding on the carpeted walkway slowly, covering as less distance as he possibly could. Reita noticed, and immediately announced: ‘’Ruki, can you please hurry the fuck up. One, Sakai is going to kill us, you know that, and two, its fucking cold and we’re all tired, half - asleep zombies, so the faster we get home the faster we get out of this hellish tour. ‘’ Reita sighed with annoyance, lugging the two heavy suitcases behind him, footsteps quickening in new found urgency, desperate for a hot coffee he knew was waiting for him downstairs.
Ruki conspicuously tried to hurry up but slow down at the same time, resulting in the small man taking awkwardly placed steps. He thought Reita wouldn’t notice though, the bassist was yawning and rubbing his eyes in exhaustion, sighing with every breath he exhaled. Ruki stood next to Reita, all quiet breathing and silent shaking of his hands. His eyes traveled to the display at the top of the lift doors, numbers changing as the lift ascended to his floor, his heart beating hard as the lift neared his floor. His eyes tracked the glowing red numbers, - 29, 30…..31.
31.
Reita stepped into the lift as the steel doors opened, fingers jabbing at the button that would bring the two men to the lift lobby, where the rest of the band was waiting. Ruki breathed hard, air escaping his lungs in gasps as he tried to silent them, his heart palpitating in fear of Uruha’s absence and Reita’s noticing of his condition. Reita frowned at the sounds, glancing at his friend. ‘’Ruki, did you just had sex with Uruha just now or something?’’ He said, eyes widening as he stared at Ruki’s covered face.
Ruki’s heart stilled, a million thoughts rushing into his head, his fear multiplied by a hundred-fold. He didn’t think Reita would notice, what with the beanie and the oversized sunglasses covering half of his face. ‘’Uh… what? Why?’’ Ruki managed to breathe out, words fumbling out of his bruised lips, struggling to maintain some kind of coherency.
‘‘Because you’re breathing really hard. And why are you covered like that?’’ Reita glanced at Ruki’s face in curiosity, eyes travelling the expanse of the small area of revealed skin, finally finding the bruise at the corner of Ruki’s plush lips, the split lip red and glaring and out of place and wrong. Curiosity turned to vermillion anger.
The one thing Ruki couldn’t hide.
Reita gripped Ruki’s arm then, hard, leaving imprints on thin pale skin, as he pulled the smaller man closer to him for inspection. Reita frowned, the crease between his eyebrows sharpening, like a knife that cut through the bassist’s exhausted expression. Not tired now though. Shocked and worried. Reita’s eyes widened as Ruki hissed in pain, the gasp escaping his lips, a tell tale sign of the abuse inflicted on his small body.
‘’Fuck. Let go Reita!’’ Ruki exclaimed angrily, pulling his arm out of the other’s grip. Reita was stronger though, anger lending him force. He held onto Ruki’s arm in a death grip, a myriad of emotions crossing his face like the ocean ebbing and flowing. ‘’He hurt you again, didn’t he? ‘’ A whisper left the bassist’s lips, fear and anger ghosting in his sepia eyes.
‘’N-no… Reita you’re hurting me. Please. ‘’ Ruki growled feebly, tears forming in the corner of his eyes, pain and shame cascading in torrents in his body. He struggled, trying in vain to escape from Reita’s fingers ghosting up his arm, leaving a trail of fear in their wake. Reita pulled the arm sleeve of Ruki’s black oversized turtleneck up, harshly exposing deepening purple bruises and streaks of crimson on Ruki’s abused skin. Ruki stilled, it was no use now. Exhaustion overwhelmed him suddenly; his very bones were tired of this. All of this.
He looked away, tears leaving his eyes in droplets, tiny rivulets running down his face. ‘’I fell. While showering.’’ Ruki whispered, the pathetic excuse fumbling out of his mouth, noir eyes afraid to look at sepia ones, instead finding temporary solace in the changing red numbers, willing for the lift to reach the lobby at breakneck speed. Anything, anything was better than his best friend finding out how tragic and fucked up he was, how his one-sided love got him abused. Used and abused. He liked that phrase, he repeated it again in his head, licking his lips but only tasting the sharp metallic taste of his own blood, reminding him how much of a coward, of a loser he was.
‘’That’s what you said the last time, and we both know the truth.’’ Reita hissed, anger clouding his eyes, fear and concern giving way to rage at the man who hurt his best friend like that.
Ruki could feel himself breaking inside, he could not even cry anymore. He looked away, saying nothing. Words were useless, pain was anesthesia, he was broken glass personified. He could not find the shattered pieces left to fix himself again. A broken cause.
The lift doors finally opened, cold air flooding into the enclosed space, clearing tension and anger heavy in the air. Reita let go of Ruki’s arm and turned away from the smaller man, silently pulling the suitcases out of the lift, rage showing only in the white, bone-dry knuckles of his hands, gripping the handles of the suitcases harshly.
Ruki stepped out of the lift, head down, as he tried to still the overwhelming rejection he felt in crashing waves. He wanted to cry, but he was out of tears.
And so Ruki told himself to be strong, to get through the bus ride home and he just wanted to get home, to bed. He felt weak, like he could crumble physically any moment. He stared at the carpeted floor, wishing he could just disappear into it.
Reita’s shout got his attention though. He snapped his head up; so hard and fast, he heard his spine crack.
‘’You fucking bastard, you fucking piece of shit, fuck you!’’ Reita shouted as he stepped toward Uruha, footsteps hard and purposeful, rage burning in him, fists clenched tight. His eyes were angry slits, he could only see the tall guitarist smoking casually outside the hotel, while Ruki was broken and hurt and bleeding and it was his best friend and he just couldn’t sit still any longer, he had to save Ruki, because Ruki couldn’t save himself -
Reita punched Uruha squarely in the jaw, the guitarist widening his eyes in surprise as the impact hit his delicate face, Uruha’s head thrown back in pain. Uruha stumbled backwards, hissing at the pain that clouded his eyes for a moment. His eyes locked onto Reita’s cold brown orbs, seeing only burning fire in them, all traces of usual friendliness gone. Uruha looked away, fingers automatically brushing the area, gasping as the pain shot through his jaw. The fucker had punched him, hard.
Uruha narrowed his eyes, the drug and alcohol haze dissipating from his head in a flash. He pulled his arm back fast and punched the bassist back, hitting Reita in the eye. Reita growled through the blossoming pain, strong arms reaching to push the taller man back harshly, staring in contempt as Uruha hit the concrete his spine making contact with the ground in an explosion of pain.
‘‘What the fuck is going on!?’’ Shouts rang out, cutting the stunned silence into red shreds, everyone rushing towards the two snarling men.
Ruki stopped breathing.
A/N: sorry it took so long for me to update! im not really satisfied with my writing here, but oh well. .___. do comment!