(no subject)
Well it is either insanely late at night or ridiculously early in the morning right now. You figure that out yourself. All I can really do right now to keep my sanity is turn around and look at her sleeping body on our bed now. It isn't like I haven't seen it for the past month or two now, it is just that every night I'm reminded of how lucky I am, no how blessed I am, to have Precious with me. To have her to watch me when I'm playing at our school games, to have her help me with the work I'm not so adequate in, to have her for comfort when I'm not exactly one of the most stable people in this world. I know I don't deserve her but she doesn't see it that way. I'm going to try to live up to the feelings she has for me. I want to be worthy of the attention she gives me. I want to be ready to take care of her through sickness and health and through better or worse. I just have this warm feeling in the pit of my stomach that the worst has past from her side of our life together. I guess it is just my turn to show how things are really made to mess up a relationship. Not ours of course but my relationship with someone. If we ever have children I want them to have grandparents, no matter how much I really don't like my parents for being the jerks they are right now, our children shouldn't have to suffer for the feuds I've had with my parents. Precious wants our kids to have a family. Not just us but to have an extended family as well. She wants to be able to send our kids to my parents' place and let them be spoiled, leaving us some time alone. There is only one way for what she wants to happen, happen. I have to be a better son to my parents. I guess if I was like around them for certain occasions, so they at least know I'm still here if they really need me. That's what I'll do tomorrow after church. Maybe I'll ask Precious apple pie or something for dessert tomorrow night to give me some time to go talk with my parents. I want her to be happy but I don't want her to have to see what's going to happen at my parents' place. Well maybe life will hold significance after I get this right. She deserves happiness.