I've [Almost] Replaced Every Promise You've Taken Away
you lay on the roof and the stars hang above
and you wonder what they'd look like if you were in love ...
I may not know what I'm doing right now, or even what I want - but I do know for certain that everything is going to be alright. For awhile I had convinced myself that there'd be nothing after Ben, because he had held such a huge part of my life and most importantly, of my heart. After our relationship ended, I had several short flings that only served to distract me from a reality that I didn't want to face. I've come to realize that what I found in Manny and Brendan was comfort, a temporary escape from the hurt and pain, and more importantly, an excuse to make Ben jealous. However, I've recently come to the conclusion that I can do more than just escape.
What I'm experiencing now is real, it's open and it's honest and it feels good. I've allowed myself to become vulnerable again, not completely vulnerable - but just enough so that I can experience those emotions that I never thought I'd feel again. It's the butterflies and the nervousness, the giddy laughter and the warm feeling you get when you know they're thinking about you - it's the first date, the first kiss, and it's that first time they look deep in your eyes, that one moment where you've never felt so alive. But, the best part of all of this is that even if nothing comes of my current situation, I'll still know that there is something beyond Ben, I'll still know that I can feel the love and happiness I experienced with him if only I allow myself to ...
[he] walked into my life and my world was still
[he] reached into my soul and all my doubts were killed
that's when my lonliness subsided
[he] gave me the will
and you wonder what they'd look like if you were in love ...
I may not know what I'm doing right now, or even what I want - but I do know for certain that everything is going to be alright. For awhile I had convinced myself that there'd be nothing after Ben, because he had held such a huge part of my life and most importantly, of my heart. After our relationship ended, I had several short flings that only served to distract me from a reality that I didn't want to face. I've come to realize that what I found in Manny and Brendan was comfort, a temporary escape from the hurt and pain, and more importantly, an excuse to make Ben jealous. However, I've recently come to the conclusion that I can do more than just escape.
What I'm experiencing now is real, it's open and it's honest and it feels good. I've allowed myself to become vulnerable again, not completely vulnerable - but just enough so that I can experience those emotions that I never thought I'd feel again. It's the butterflies and the nervousness, the giddy laughter and the warm feeling you get when you know they're thinking about you - it's the first date, the first kiss, and it's that first time they look deep in your eyes, that one moment where you've never felt so alive. But, the best part of all of this is that even if nothing comes of my current situation, I'll still know that there is something beyond Ben, I'll still know that I can feel the love and happiness I experienced with him if only I allow myself to ...
[he] walked into my life and my world was still
[he] reached into my soul and all my doubts were killed
that's when my lonliness subsided
[he] gave me the will