Its april
Papers are in. Pretty soon will get the Call. Find out where Im going.
Man Night was a while ago. It would probably be the last time I see my coworkers for 2 years at least.
It's kind of sad. They were really good friends of mine.
I been writing and recording alot of music lately with Justin. Rapid Ideas. Trying to just come up with something great. I don't really have alot of time or resources. I'm just making do. I figure I will devote EVERYTHING to music after my mission.
I have been trying new things. Either just the resources I am stuck with dont work well or just isn't good enough.
I need to get my act together I am wasting time. It seems like hours go by and I have accomplished so little, because I focus too hard on one thing. Or just spread my vision too much.
I have become somewhat of a neighborhood celebrity. Or some sort of guy who is just plain different then everyone else. Little kids are picking up guitars left and right. high school kids are idolizing me even though I just play the guitar over music outside really loudly. I have goals or something. I guess thats something people admire right now. But I know who I am, and all my many flaws.
And I just think its great an all that people enjoy what I do, but I am not letting it get to my head. I am more just obsessed with just improving myself, or just going all out on certain projects, and then I just don't know if it matters.
My resources are draining. And I am using them to their limits, and its pushing me. But I don't think I have done enough. I need to just explode or something into the best I can. I need to impress myself. And not even just doing one great thing. But to just completely keep baffling myself that I just keep it rolling.
My movies I have created, some got deleted from an accident. That kinda sucked, because we worked hard and the kind of humor in it was so out there that I just dont think it will happen again. I probably need to do laundry and just clean everything I have. my floor is covered with clothes.
I need to sort out my CDs and Emails and projects. I need some sort of organization, it is something I have lacked for probably all my life.
I never had a clean binder in school, or backpack. Until later. But even then the school system sucked so that didn't work, I got my GED but haven't gone to college because I still wasn't organized. I never really had a father figure in my life. He lives away, sure I have done fine. I've moved when I was close to finishing school, both middle and high. So its like I had to go to 8th grade in CA, and then get my GED during my junior year. It was bizarre.
And don't give me pity or praise for goodness sake, this isn't what this is about. I'm just assessing myself, and just pointing out my issues..
I still have played out of my Marshall MG amp for years now. I am breaking strings left and right. I never really had a solid band play MY music. I have covered stuff sure. But screw musicians, they are so egotistical and passive it is sick. I just want to have some band members that can just shut up and play once in a while. I don't care how long it takes, but I want someone who can stick it through.
I don't understand people sometimes. It just amazes me how they can be friends and just suddenly become so static or boring it just disgusts you, and how people you thought were completely ridiculous are mildly interesting. And mostly people that are ridiculous are still boring and dumb. I don't even know what I am talking about anymore but I just want to get this out there. A little bit of venting. I just don't want to become stuck in a situation I don't want to be in. That is one that doesn't progress, or just annoys you to no end.
I don't want to be antagonistic but I just hate being the one to pick up the pieces or have to break it apart.
If you read this. Just forget it. Its nothing that concerns you.
Man Night was a while ago. It would probably be the last time I see my coworkers for 2 years at least.
It's kind of sad. They were really good friends of mine.
I been writing and recording alot of music lately with Justin. Rapid Ideas. Trying to just come up with something great. I don't really have alot of time or resources. I'm just making do. I figure I will devote EVERYTHING to music after my mission.
I have been trying new things. Either just the resources I am stuck with dont work well or just isn't good enough.
I need to get my act together I am wasting time. It seems like hours go by and I have accomplished so little, because I focus too hard on one thing. Or just spread my vision too much.
I have become somewhat of a neighborhood celebrity. Or some sort of guy who is just plain different then everyone else. Little kids are picking up guitars left and right. high school kids are idolizing me even though I just play the guitar over music outside really loudly. I have goals or something. I guess thats something people admire right now. But I know who I am, and all my many flaws.
And I just think its great an all that people enjoy what I do, but I am not letting it get to my head. I am more just obsessed with just improving myself, or just going all out on certain projects, and then I just don't know if it matters.
My resources are draining. And I am using them to their limits, and its pushing me. But I don't think I have done enough. I need to just explode or something into the best I can. I need to impress myself. And not even just doing one great thing. But to just completely keep baffling myself that I just keep it rolling.
My movies I have created, some got deleted from an accident. That kinda sucked, because we worked hard and the kind of humor in it was so out there that I just dont think it will happen again. I probably need to do laundry and just clean everything I have. my floor is covered with clothes.
I need to sort out my CDs and Emails and projects. I need some sort of organization, it is something I have lacked for probably all my life.
I never had a clean binder in school, or backpack. Until later. But even then the school system sucked so that didn't work, I got my GED but haven't gone to college because I still wasn't organized. I never really had a father figure in my life. He lives away, sure I have done fine. I've moved when I was close to finishing school, both middle and high. So its like I had to go to 8th grade in CA, and then get my GED during my junior year. It was bizarre.
And don't give me pity or praise for goodness sake, this isn't what this is about. I'm just assessing myself, and just pointing out my issues..
I still have played out of my Marshall MG amp for years now. I am breaking strings left and right. I never really had a solid band play MY music. I have covered stuff sure. But screw musicians, they are so egotistical and passive it is sick. I just want to have some band members that can just shut up and play once in a while. I don't care how long it takes, but I want someone who can stick it through.
I don't understand people sometimes. It just amazes me how they can be friends and just suddenly become so static or boring it just disgusts you, and how people you thought were completely ridiculous are mildly interesting. And mostly people that are ridiculous are still boring and dumb. I don't even know what I am talking about anymore but I just want to get this out there. A little bit of venting. I just don't want to become stuck in a situation I don't want to be in. That is one that doesn't progress, or just annoys you to no end.
I don't want to be antagonistic but I just hate being the one to pick up the pieces or have to break it apart.
If you read this. Just forget it. Its nothing that concerns you.