lessons in boundary-setting

[burgundy]

A week and a half ago, I joined OkCupid, out of curiosity and other motivations I don't feel like going into right now. Thus far it's been a very positive experience. Next week I will start actually meeting people in person, so we'll see how it goes then

Comments

[firephoenix8]

I met my boyfriend on OkC. I talked to a lot of guys along the way who seemed to want to have a chat conversation they could (don't know of a polite way to say this) jack off to. I found a couple of friends I might have gone out with if they were local and whom I still correspond with years later, and I went on first dates with a couple of first dates with really whiny, unconfident guys.

The only situation that was really disturbing was the guy I kind of liked, and went on a second date with, and he wanted to have sex. At the time I was a virgin and not ready, not with him, and he wouldn't take no for an answer. He argued with me for an hour. That unwillingness to take no for an answer really bothered me, and I refused to see him again. I consider myself lucky all he did was argue (he didn't try force) and we were at my apartment and he knew my roommate was home.

Now I live with my boyfriend of 2.5 years and I'm thoroughly happy with the whole experience. I feel like meeting online gives the opportunity to focus more on how you get along, and if you like someone, you tend to spend a lot of time talking - so you get to really know them, as opposed to going off of appearance and having all the pressure of saying the right thing on a date, etc. I also like that an online dating environment allows you to define why you are there, so that hopefully takes the pressure of figuring out if the other person is interested in what you are (dating, friendship) out of the equation.