(no subject)
so...i talked to eric on the phone for the first time since we broke up. i can't stand this. i'm so sick of crying over him. that's all i've done since we broke up. i miss him right now and i know i'm the one that ended it, but it sucks. when we got off the phone he said *i love you* and i just started bawling even harder. i love him so much. i'm stuck in between a rock and a hard place right now and i really don't know what to do. it may not have been the best of times as of lately, but i wasn't crying all the time just every few days. i know neither of those are normal, but if my choices are those, i choose the latter. god i wish boys could just be normal. matters of the heart are always the messiest. my heart is telling me one thing and my mind is telling me another. for me, i usually act with my mind, and now look where i am. a sobbing histerical mess. for once i wish i didn't try and rationalize every situation and just followed my heart. i wish i didn't screw up things so much and that i could just be happy. just once.