(no subject)
i was reading my entries from ages ago (well they're all from ages ago :P. my last entry was what, new years?), and i was struck by how different i feel now compared to before. since summer ended, all of my entries have been overtly negative and strangely enough, i'm not feeling any of that negativity anymore. i feel...stable i guess, like i know where i'm going and what i'm going to do when i get there. and even though i don't really know where that hypothetical destination is, it seems like i am slowly but surely attaining it.
to all of the people i've been talking to on a regular basis lately: thank you, because you're all a big part of the reason why my life is looking up. whether it's in class, during breaks or lunches, during rehearsal, at chinese school, or at dance, you guys are all keeping me in a mindset of reality. it's a really, really amazing feeling.
i mean just look at this list:
1) soap bubble feeling? gone, and replaced by peace of mind. i might not have gotten the anchor that i wanted, but the ones i have now are superb.
2) fat rejection? well the obvious one (college rejections) have not been happening, and even if they do start to, i'm in a relatively stable position to deal with it. march 29 just be here now please? as to the other rejection...well it sorta happened/sorta didn't. but that is over and done with and i'm actually glad that it turned out the way it did.
3) definitely do not feel like i can disappear off the face of the earth now and have nothing to show for having been here. not anymore. so far, senior year has been a real lady to me; i don't think i could ask for a better experience. i've met people, done things, just generally LIVED for once. it's been a great ride guys. thanks again.
to all of the people i've been talking to on a regular basis lately: thank you, because you're all a big part of the reason why my life is looking up. whether it's in class, during breaks or lunches, during rehearsal, at chinese school, or at dance, you guys are all keeping me in a mindset of reality. it's a really, really amazing feeling.
i mean just look at this list:
1) soap bubble feeling? gone, and replaced by peace of mind. i might not have gotten the anchor that i wanted, but the ones i have now are superb.
2) fat rejection? well the obvious one (college rejections) have not been happening, and even if they do start to, i'm in a relatively stable position to deal with it. march 29 just be here now please? as to the other rejection...well it sorta happened/sorta didn't. but that is over and done with and i'm actually glad that it turned out the way it did.
3) definitely do not feel like i can disappear off the face of the earth now and have nothing to show for having been here. not anymore. so far, senior year has been a real lady to me; i don't think i could ask for a better experience. i've met people, done things, just generally LIVED for once. it's been a great ride guys. thanks again.