wow

Jan 11, 2006 10:21

Wow,..i havent updated in here forever. Guess i'll do a lil short one right now. My grandma emailed me,...Telling me how shes disappointed with Tyler, bc he isnt taking precaution with his leg * he injured it in wrestling practice, someone did a move wrong on him, and he tore something and something is wrong with his manuscus(sp)* And at the doctors he didnt take crutches, but he has them now. And when i try and tell him things he should do with his leg, he doesnt listen bc he doesnt think i am right, and when Steve agrees with me he still doesnt listen, my Grandma who has injured her knee before tells him stuff, and he doesnt listen,..she said its like talking to a brick wall. lol. And she doesnt know how he is doing with applying himself to college bc he doesnt tell her, she thinks hes slacking off a lot on things he should be doing now. But i am just gonna try and stay out of it, bc when i try to help i am kicked to the side. Then she said shes kinda mad for Steve taking my car,...and for mom and Steve not gettin it registered and inspected til now *when Steve needs it bc he gave his car to Carissa* And i wont be able to drive it, unless Steve doesnt need it *plus when i get gas money* And it sucks,...bc i dont think TJ has faith in me,..he doesnt think i am putting in an effort to talk to my mom and Steve, about me having the car now, or borrowing it to come see him. I know its hard, especially in the beginning of a relationship to not see eachother for 2 weeks. Thanks to Erica, last time we got to see eachother, its been almost another 2 weeks, and its killing me as much as its killing him. I try to tell him it wont be like that forever. But he said it seems like this is turning out to be like him and his ex, and he broke up with her, bc he only got to see her on weekends. But i still tried to tell him, i will have the car back soon, and he would see me more,...but idk. Its making me kind of sad. My Grandma wants me to move in with them, get a job there and save money. But i have to pay shit off. I have to get a 2nd job here, to be able to pay it off faster and still have money to get things i need and to save money. But my mom and Steve seem to be screwing that up. But when spring comes, when i want to get another job , and if Steve still has my car,....then it will seem like they really dont care. At times i just need to get away, i was supposed to go to my Grandmas sometime this week and stay for a couple days,..for a break from here, but that didnt work out. So maybe next week. Idk,..everytime i try to make something of myself, try to pay things off,..it gets screwed up. And not only do i have to worry about my car with the 2nd job now, and being tired, and prolly getting yelled at by my mom,..bc i worked at the Village and then my 2nd job, and didnt do the dishes or vaccum the floor,....i'll have to worry about TJ too, bc if i get a 2nd job, i wont see a lot of him either.
I want to get a 2nd job to pay things off and save money,..so i can go to JCC or something, and go for a teacher. But things just keep getting screwed up everytime i try. I dont have anyone who really has faith in me,..like the ppl i need,...so its that much harder in trying to go forth and trying to do it. Idk,..i wish i could take a break from it all.....but this is life,...reality. You cant take a break,..just like everyone needs money, and just hate money,..lol. I have just been through a lot,...i want to know when its time for me to have time for myself, to be able to do all the things i need and want. This life is just taking toll on me,...and it doesnt seem like i have anyone.
Well i will stop boring you all* if anyone reads these anymore* So i am gonna go get dressed, get the mail and go to the Village, although i only have 2 dollars and have enough to just get a bagel and cream cheese. lol. I hope no one is mad at me for not really keeping in touch,..but with the stuff that happened to my sis, my car not being on the road. Not having long distance, and my phone not having many mins,and my mom keeping me here to do the house work, and basically just telling me i couldnt really go anywhere when i wanted,...it screwed everything up, and has made me unhappy. Ok,..im really going now....ttya'll later. C-ya!
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