i'm gunna muster every bit of confidence i have....
hmm so i've been doing a lot of thinking lately. I'm REALLY scared about the future. What i'm doing with my life, school, work, shit like that. I think that i really just need to concentrate solely on school. i HAVE to do really good this semester. because if i dont get into the business college next year i think i might die. I like to say that i've been doing all i can and trying my hardest, but i know that i could do better. i just try to do it all and it doesnt work ya know? its so hard to have a social life and do really good at school, especially when ur classes are so hard and u study 15-20 hours (literally) for an exam...only to get an 80%. its so frustrating. so i've been trying to cut down on goin out and stuff just because i need to get my shit done. i feel like such a loser sometimes, but really i've come to realize that my life in like 4 years is WAY more important than goin to a party right now. dont get me wrong i love goin out with the girls, i just i'm so stressed about all this and i dont wanna fuck up my life. eh i dunno...whatev
so...from now on....i'm not letting my gaurd down. because everytime i do i get my hopes up and led on, only to get shot down. its rediculous. like dont say things to me if your going to change ur mind...i dunno...frustrating. even tho most of my friends have like boys or whatever, i think i'd rather have fun with them then worry about idiots from the male species. they just complicate my life and make me unhappy. and i like to be happy! haha god i sound like i did in high school...like i need a boy to make me happy...i can make myself more happy than any guy has or can. haha wow
today in conditioning we played soccer...and apparently i looked like i'm good or something. My TA asked me to help her coach her JV soccer team at Fowler i think it is. She said it would be good to have someone who knows what they are doing haha. I only looked good because there is only like 3 people in my class that have played soccer haha. oh well tommorow i go for the first practice. i'm pretty excited about it.
alright welllllll i just needed to get some stress off before i go study hardcore for this massive macroeconomics exam i have tommoorw...MAGOOO its gunna be so hard! wish me luck!!
so...from now on....i'm not letting my gaurd down. because everytime i do i get my hopes up and led on, only to get shot down. its rediculous. like dont say things to me if your going to change ur mind...i dunno...frustrating. even tho most of my friends have like boys or whatever, i think i'd rather have fun with them then worry about idiots from the male species. they just complicate my life and make me unhappy. and i like to be happy! haha god i sound like i did in high school...like i need a boy to make me happy...i can make myself more happy than any guy has or can. haha wow
today in conditioning we played soccer...and apparently i looked like i'm good or something. My TA asked me to help her coach her JV soccer team at Fowler i think it is. She said it would be good to have someone who knows what they are doing haha. I only looked good because there is only like 3 people in my class that have played soccer haha. oh well tommorow i go for the first practice. i'm pretty excited about it.
alright welllllll i just needed to get some stress off before i go study hardcore for this massive macroeconomics exam i have tommoorw...MAGOOO its gunna be so hard! wish me luck!!