(no subject)
The Pervasive Thought
Xtremely pervasive this question
That requires soul, heart, body
"What more?" Begs the foundation
Of existence and the earth that saw me
to stand still
Try "why?" and "who else?" It racks the frame
and questions motives. Good.
The never-ending loneliness is the same
For none and it hurts the mood
of self-motivated uselessness
Indecisive friends take no part
It's a rare one not to abandon
Superficial matters look so smart
Until realization inundates the soul's mansion
and then it falls so short
Now, yet in the midst of singular mishaps
To find one so close but so far
Unreachable at best, this mockery smacks
Of the original: life's first mar
and we pay for it but don't care
Evasive ignorance plays a key part in the drama
Hopefully unfolding less to all as much as possible
I found out it only works west
We're wealthy, wise, wistfully taking a loss in full
for the wrongs done elsewhere
Likely not the other troupers
I don't pretend to be; movibation
Is constant but unsure of the Supers
I'm committed but all true elation
stems from ability manifested
Extend a bowl to vanguish your thirst
Your curiosity is just
Keep true things is important and first
When everything fails as it must
know you'll be unshaken
Exactly how sure are you? Bet your life?
I bet mine! Be sure of what you can't see
The constant is this that allows in strife
Perfection, sureness, assurance, and finality
please see and understand!
Therein lies your answer
Therein is your completion
Just some lunchtime musings. It feels so good to get that out.
Took the two to a movie and then out to eat. Unfortunately it turned out to be rather uncomfortable for everyone. I don't know what Mom was expecting. Oh well. When I got home from the movie I realized the trash needed to be left by the street. I was still dressed in nice clothes (new shoes wOOt) and took the trash all the way to the street (long driveway). It was about midnight and there was a cool mist and drizzle. I took my shirt off and that cool mist felt so good, but made me so lonely. I should have been out walking in the rain with someone special, casually walking back inside. *Sigh* It made the evening seem so superficial. But I felt much more single minded when I went back in to my house, turned off the lights, and went to bed.
The next day, also unfortunately, wasn't much better. Good day in the morning, but me being the stupid one I am was subconsciously trying to start something with Amanda again. I called her cell and (I know God was doing this for my good) there was so much static I couldn't hear her. Twice. I went to my old high school where she said she was and didn't see her. Then I thought, "What the hell am I doing?" And I left and got a sushi pack from target for lunch. It made me feel so much better, but I'm still hitting myself why I continue to let her do this game to me. Gosh as if 5 years wasn't enough. I'm a freaking idiot. Why can't I just let her go? I can. I did. But there's still something whenever she comes back from school nagging me over and over. I wish it'd shut up.
Xtremely pervasive this question
That requires soul, heart, body
"What more?" Begs the foundation
Of existence and the earth that saw me
to stand still
Try "why?" and "who else?" It racks the frame
and questions motives. Good.
The never-ending loneliness is the same
For none and it hurts the mood
of self-motivated uselessness
Indecisive friends take no part
It's a rare one not to abandon
Superficial matters look so smart
Until realization inundates the soul's mansion
and then it falls so short
Now, yet in the midst of singular mishaps
To find one so close but so far
Unreachable at best, this mockery smacks
Of the original: life's first mar
and we pay for it but don't care
Evasive ignorance plays a key part in the drama
Hopefully unfolding less to all as much as possible
I found out it only works west
We're wealthy, wise, wistfully taking a loss in full
for the wrongs done elsewhere
Likely not the other troupers
I don't pretend to be; movibation
Is constant but unsure of the Supers
I'm committed but all true elation
stems from ability manifested
Extend a bowl to vanguish your thirst
Your curiosity is just
Keep true things is important and first
When everything fails as it must
know you'll be unshaken
Exactly how sure are you? Bet your life?
I bet mine! Be sure of what you can't see
The constant is this that allows in strife
Perfection, sureness, assurance, and finality
please see and understand!
Therein lies your answer
Therein is your completion
Just some lunchtime musings. It feels so good to get that out.
Took the two to a movie and then out to eat. Unfortunately it turned out to be rather uncomfortable for everyone. I don't know what Mom was expecting. Oh well. When I got home from the movie I realized the trash needed to be left by the street. I was still dressed in nice clothes (new shoes wOOt) and took the trash all the way to the street (long driveway). It was about midnight and there was a cool mist and drizzle. I took my shirt off and that cool mist felt so good, but made me so lonely. I should have been out walking in the rain with someone special, casually walking back inside. *Sigh* It made the evening seem so superficial. But I felt much more single minded when I went back in to my house, turned off the lights, and went to bed.
The next day, also unfortunately, wasn't much better. Good day in the morning, but me being the stupid one I am was subconsciously trying to start something with Amanda again. I called her cell and (I know God was doing this for my good) there was so much static I couldn't hear her. Twice. I went to my old high school where she said she was and didn't see her. Then I thought, "What the hell am I doing?" And I left and got a sushi pack from target for lunch. It made me feel so much better, but I'm still hitting myself why I continue to let her do this game to me. Gosh as if 5 years wasn't enough. I'm a freaking idiot. Why can't I just let her go? I can. I did. But there's still something whenever she comes back from school nagging me over and over. I wish it'd shut up.