stuff
Well its been almost three months since i last wrote and how things change when you really try at it, i havent hurt Lindsay at all (at least that i know of) i still think about Jackie every so often but now i dont feel depressed i look back at the good times we had and i smile knowing when we were happy everything was ok and nothing could hurt me, its intresting though during halo night tonight ashley called me. Wishing me a happy fourth and how much fun she had when we went together to the last 4th fireworks and festival down in Maryland at that time i really thought that i knew what i wanted, no i did know what i wanted and i fucked it up, i've come to accept that what i did in the past is over and i cant ever bring it back and change it, no matter how hard i wish, no matter how hard i try it wont bring it back. i cant fix what i did back then but i can change what i do here and now, and thats learn what i did and didnt do back then and change it. I'm taking this relationship one step at a time, step by step, and day by day, no planning for the future just here and now, and if it doesnt work out between me and lindsay then maybe i will get another shot with Ashley, but i'm not going to throw away the two best things in my life and thats Lindsay and Airy i want to give them both the world, and so far i think i'm doing that, I love them both so much and i love airy like she is my own. Honestly i want this to be my relationship i'm almost 23 and i think though i'm still young but Lindsay is just everything to me and i would give my life for her both her and Airalyn. I cant mess this up, i wont mess this up, not now not ever, I shall stay strong and i shall not let myself fall like i have so many other times before. In this time, In this place, one mans' love for his girl and her love for her man shall destroy all who stand in their way together they will be and by the grace of the god and goddess shall they forever live and never falter.