(no subject)
Just remembered I had this, even though no one reads it anymore, not even me. Thought to myself "hey self, it's 2am, you've been in the library since 1pm, it's about time to continue procrastinating, in any way you can", so here i am.
The past six months, maybe the past year, have been the biggest, scarriest, and most incredible roller coaster ever. I know I'm not off of it yet, but I still can't believe I've survived. Being a patient sucks. Having surgeries, blood transfusions, things pumped into you, things taken out of you, it's crazy... I definitely have a much stronger basis for empathizing with my patients in the future. Having my best friend put in my foley because I couldn't pee and didn't want anyone else going down there ever again... well I just have to say that Monica is the best friend one could ever have haha. One minor decision about going to the ER that night or going to bed, saved my life. Nutso.
I don't think I'm ever going to psychologically recover from this summer fully. I do think, however, that I will learn to respect myself more and eventually acknowledge that everyone else is right, and it really was strength I showed to pull through that, and two days after being released from the hospital, rock that NBME exam, and start second year of med school a week later. At the time I felt like I was just doing what I had to, but looking back I realize that I actually did the impossible. I only worry that I might be out of miracles.
The past six months, maybe the past year, have been the biggest, scarriest, and most incredible roller coaster ever. I know I'm not off of it yet, but I still can't believe I've survived. Being a patient sucks. Having surgeries, blood transfusions, things pumped into you, things taken out of you, it's crazy... I definitely have a much stronger basis for empathizing with my patients in the future. Having my best friend put in my foley because I couldn't pee and didn't want anyone else going down there ever again... well I just have to say that Monica is the best friend one could ever have haha. One minor decision about going to the ER that night or going to bed, saved my life. Nutso.
I don't think I'm ever going to psychologically recover from this summer fully. I do think, however, that I will learn to respect myself more and eventually acknowledge that everyone else is right, and it really was strength I showed to pull through that, and two days after being released from the hospital, rock that NBME exam, and start second year of med school a week later. At the time I felt like I was just doing what I had to, but looking back I realize that I actually did the impossible. I only worry that I might be out of miracles.