In 1993, my friend Alana started the "involuntary celibacy" / "incel" project as a website and mailing list. At the time, it was a mutual-support thing for people who were, for whatever reason, unable to find partners. (I was part of the group briefly, but found that it was much more about celibacy than about romantic partners, i.e. not really what I was looking for.) Though there was a lot of social cluelessness, there wasn't the bitterness, anger, and misogyny that are hallmarks of "incel" today.
After a couple of years, Alana handed control of the site and mailing list over to someone else, and moved on with her life.
A few years ago, when "incel" got into the news as a violently misogynist movement, she was shocked by the transformation of something good into something terrible. Every time another incident has come up, she's been smacked by it. And with the van attack on April 23rd in Toronto, where she lives, it's come home. She has been a "media darling" and is tired of it. Her Twitter feed is full of both hatred from men and hatred of all "incels". Some "incels" are merely socially awkward; even some of the misogynists could be educated.
So a couple of days ago, she set up a new site,
"Love, Not Anger", to try to educate people. She's trying to get back to her original premise.