from 2004 SG1 UNFINISHED!
This sucker has been in my email since 2004. Sent it to the betas and since then.. well it's impossible to figure a way to fix it. It had possibility back in my loving SG1 says. Sadly, me and chaff no longer work together nor write anymore...but figured I'll be the only one reading this why not post it. IF anyone does read it and wants a go at fixing/continuing.. hollar up at me.
Working title: Fit to be Tied
Co-Authors: Chaff and Dee
Season: ?
Genre: Definitely Gen. I didn't want a slash story.
Humor(I hope)
Rating???? around PG/PG-13 unsure
Fit To Be Tied
*Knock*
*Knock*
*Knock*
"Hold on will you," Jack yelled from the comfort of
his couch. Placing the beer in his hand on the coffee
table, he got up to answer the door. Looking through
the peep hole he was surprised by who was at his door.
Opening up he said, "Teal'c. Um, what's up?" He looked
down at the bag that Teal'c carried in his hand.
Facing Jack, he said, "I am here at a friend's
request. O'Neill."
'Okay,' he thought. "So....What's in the bag?"
Curiosity getting the best of him. He waited for a
reply, but received none. Starting to walk back to the
couch he stated, "Sit down. I'll grab you a..."
Stopping mid sentence when he felt two strong arms
pulling his arms behind his back.
"Teal'c! What the hell?" he yelled.
"I am sorry O'Neill, this is necessary. You will be
released, but not before you learn the error of your
ways."
Jack tried furiously to release himself from the
Jaffa's grip. He was screaming obscenities toward his
friend when he felt the handcuffs being placed on his
wrists.
Jack was led into the dining room, and tied to one of
the chairs. 'So that's what was in the bag' he thought
to himself.
"For Pete's sake," he hollered. Ropes strapping his
body down tightly to the chair.
Looking down at Jack, Confusion set upon Teal'c face
He replied, "No O'Neill. For DanielJackson's sake!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Some Time Later~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"You better have made sure that I'm strapped in nice
and tightly, cause I'm gonna kill your friend Daniel
if I'm not." Jack said with venom dripping from his
voice.
"Indeed," Teal'c replied. Pulling at the ropes. Making
sure of the tight hold.
Both men turned their heads toward the opening front
door.
"DanielJackson," Teal'c said, bowing his head.
"Oh there's the soon to be again, Dead Man." Jack
spewed out. Finishing with, "Your running out of those
nine lives of yours."
Daniel looked at Teal'c, then toward Jack. "You can go
now Teal'c. Thank you again for your help."
He started to leave, but stopped worried for his
friend. "Are you sure this is wise DanielJackson?"
If Jack wasn't so pissed right now he'd laugh. Hell,
he started laughing anyway.
"Go on, I'll be fine," Daniel said. Turning to face
the fit to be tied Colonel.
After Teal'c left Jack sat there glaring at Daniel.
His eyes never left his captor as he paced the floor
in front of him, his arms crossed over his chest. One
hand up to his mouth as he chewed at a thumbnail.
"Well!" Jack yelled, scaring Daniel out of his absent
minded pacing. "What now Daniel?"
"Actually Jack... I hadn't really thought his far
ahead." Daniel replied with trepidation. He was
obviously re-thinking this whole thing. A little to
late.
'I guess I better take as much advantage of this as
possible. Come tomorrow, I'm sure I'm going to die.'
Daniel thought to himself.
"OK Jack. This is the deal. I have something to say to
you and you're going to listen, even if I have to tape
your mouth shut for that to happen!"
Jack just rolled his eyes.
"First off. I DO NOT appreciate being the star of your
little peep shows!"
"What!" Jack exclaims, trying desperately to put on an
innocent face. "I have no idea what you're talking
about!"
"Oh come on Jack. Stop the innocent act! I happen to
have been warned by a reliable source that you've been
charging women to spy on me in the showers!"
Jack's thought 'Note to self: Add Carter to rapidly
growing hit list!'
He exclaims, "Well Dr. Jackson, I need to supplement
my income somehow. Not all of us get paid as much as
you do!"
"Well, why me Jack?"
"Because Daniel, you're the only one they would PAY to
look at!!" Jack replies with frustration.
Daniel starts to lose his train of thought and blushes
furiously. After regaining a bit of his composure,
Daniel says, "Secondly.....Stay away from my stuff!
What reason would you have to visit my office while
I'm not there?"
Jack replies with non-chalance, "I needed a paper
weight. So I went to get one of your rocks."
At this confession, Daniel turns red and seems about
to blow up.
"YOU.....DID.....WHAT?" Daniel screams with barely
suppressed fury. At this point, Jack actually seems a
bit nervous. He could swear he can actually see steam
coming from Daniel's ears.
"Now calm down, it was just a stupid rock. You've got
tons of them. You know...Seen one, seen them all. Hey
Daniel, where are you going?" Jack asks as Daniel
proceeds to leave the room.
Now he could be heard in the other room throwing and
breaking seemingly anything he could get his hands on.
At this point, all the anger at being taken captive
left Jack. With a menacing smile slowly forming on his
face, he realizes that he has already paid Daniel back
for this escapade. With revenge no longer on his mind,
he decides to just go along for the ride.
The crashes and bangs in the other room slowly
dissipated as Daniel obviously worked some of his fury
off. He then re-enters the dining room.
Jack asks, "So Danny, done with your little temper
tantrum? You know I can have Doc Frasier set you up
with some anger management classes."
Daniel just stood there glaring at Jack. A look of
hysteria plastered across his face. Suddenly, he goes
back into the kitchen, returning with a roll of silver
tape in his hands.
"Daniel..." A slightly startled Jack replies. "Come on
now. Don't do this! Daniel....DANEIL!!" Jack was
swiftly silenced when Daniel did indeed tape his mouth
shut.
"What's the matter Jack? Nothing more to say?" Daniel
taunts, face sneering, eyes wide.
"Mmph," was all Jack could reply.
Daniel, now dripping with sarcasm, puts his hand to
his ear. "Hmm? Jack? What? What was that? I didn't
quite hear you!"
Here, Jack starts to shake a bit. 'Is he....He's
laughing! That son of a bitch is laughing!' Daniel was
incredulous at Jack's audacity. "Well Jack, let's see
how funny you think this is!" Daniel proceeds to do an
about face, and walk out the door. Just before he
closes it behind him, he screams, "You owe me
royalties!" and slams the door. Now leaving a once
again irate Jack struggling against his bonds.
'Dead man Daniel. Dead man.'
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~The Next Morning~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Daniel tapped his fingers on the briefing table.
Nervous, he awaits Jack to enter the room and exact
his revenge. He realized in cold light of day, he was
a dead man. Sam and Teal'c sat there, looking at their
friend with concern. Teal'c sat next to Daniel, while
Sam sat across.
They all were staring at the clock wondering what was
keeping the General and Colonel. Suddenly the door
opens and they rise from their seats. General Hammond
walks in and tells them to take their seats.
"Does anyone know the location of Colonel O'Neill?" he
asks the three SG1 members. "I've been trying to get a
hold of him all morning. There has been no answer at
his house."
"No Sir," Sam replies.
Daniel's face pales. Shooting a look at Teal'c he
whispers, "You did go back and release him....Right?"
Teal'c replies, "DanielJackson. I thought you would
release him when you were done."
"Oh god!" Daniel says. Dropping his head on the hard
surface of the table.
"Are you alright Daniel?" Sam's concerned voice asks.
Daniel continues to mumble under his breath. He lifts
his head when he hears Hammond's voice.
"Do we need to call the infirmary, Doctor Jackson?"
"Not yet," He replies. Panic pure in his voice.
"Sir," he says. Voice dropping to sound like a
teenager hitting puberty. "Can I be placed in the
Witness Protection Program?" Dropping his head down
again on the table.
Hammond's eyes narrow. He's about to respond when he
hears Teal'c say, "Do not fear DanielJackson. I will
protect you from O'Neill's fury."
Daniel pops his head up, "Oh really! Who's gonna
protect you?"
Teal'c ponders this thought for a moment, and turns to
Hammond. He asks, "General Hammond. Do they allow
Jaffa in this program?"
Hammond lifts his hand to his head. Shaking his head
he says,
"What the blazing hell have you done this time?"
Working title: Fit to be Tied
Co-Authors: Chaff and Dee
Season: ?
Genre: Definitely Gen. I didn't want a slash story.
Humor(I hope)
Rating???? around PG/PG-13 unsure
Fit To Be Tied
*Knock*
*Knock*
*Knock*
"Hold on will you," Jack yelled from the comfort of
his couch. Placing the beer in his hand on the coffee
table, he got up to answer the door. Looking through
the peep hole he was surprised by who was at his door.
Opening up he said, "Teal'c. Um, what's up?" He looked
down at the bag that Teal'c carried in his hand.
Facing Jack, he said, "I am here at a friend's
request. O'Neill."
'Okay,' he thought. "So....What's in the bag?"
Curiosity getting the best of him. He waited for a
reply, but received none. Starting to walk back to the
couch he stated, "Sit down. I'll grab you a..."
Stopping mid sentence when he felt two strong arms
pulling his arms behind his back.
"Teal'c! What the hell?" he yelled.
"I am sorry O'Neill, this is necessary. You will be
released, but not before you learn the error of your
ways."
Jack tried furiously to release himself from the
Jaffa's grip. He was screaming obscenities toward his
friend when he felt the handcuffs being placed on his
wrists.
Jack was led into the dining room, and tied to one of
the chairs. 'So that's what was in the bag' he thought
to himself.
"For Pete's sake," he hollered. Ropes strapping his
body down tightly to the chair.
Looking down at Jack, Confusion set upon Teal'c face
He replied, "No O'Neill. For DanielJackson's sake!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Some Time Later~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"You better have made sure that I'm strapped in nice
and tightly, cause I'm gonna kill your friend Daniel
if I'm not." Jack said with venom dripping from his
voice.
"Indeed," Teal'c replied. Pulling at the ropes. Making
sure of the tight hold.
Both men turned their heads toward the opening front
door.
"DanielJackson," Teal'c said, bowing his head.
"Oh there's the soon to be again, Dead Man." Jack
spewed out. Finishing with, "Your running out of those
nine lives of yours."
Daniel looked at Teal'c, then toward Jack. "You can go
now Teal'c. Thank you again for your help."
He started to leave, but stopped worried for his
friend. "Are you sure this is wise DanielJackson?"
If Jack wasn't so pissed right now he'd laugh. Hell,
he started laughing anyway.
"Go on, I'll be fine," Daniel said. Turning to face
the fit to be tied Colonel.
After Teal'c left Jack sat there glaring at Daniel.
His eyes never left his captor as he paced the floor
in front of him, his arms crossed over his chest. One
hand up to his mouth as he chewed at a thumbnail.
"Well!" Jack yelled, scaring Daniel out of his absent
minded pacing. "What now Daniel?"
"Actually Jack... I hadn't really thought his far
ahead." Daniel replied with trepidation. He was
obviously re-thinking this whole thing. A little to
late.
'I guess I better take as much advantage of this as
possible. Come tomorrow, I'm sure I'm going to die.'
Daniel thought to himself.
"OK Jack. This is the deal. I have something to say to
you and you're going to listen, even if I have to tape
your mouth shut for that to happen!"
Jack just rolled his eyes.
"First off. I DO NOT appreciate being the star of your
little peep shows!"
"What!" Jack exclaims, trying desperately to put on an
innocent face. "I have no idea what you're talking
about!"
"Oh come on Jack. Stop the innocent act! I happen to
have been warned by a reliable source that you've been
charging women to spy on me in the showers!"
Jack's thought 'Note to self: Add Carter to rapidly
growing hit list!'
He exclaims, "Well Dr. Jackson, I need to supplement
my income somehow. Not all of us get paid as much as
you do!"
"Well, why me Jack?"
"Because Daniel, you're the only one they would PAY to
look at!!" Jack replies with frustration.
Daniel starts to lose his train of thought and blushes
furiously. After regaining a bit of his composure,
Daniel says, "Secondly.....Stay away from my stuff!
What reason would you have to visit my office while
I'm not there?"
Jack replies with non-chalance, "I needed a paper
weight. So I went to get one of your rocks."
At this confession, Daniel turns red and seems about
to blow up.
"YOU.....DID.....WHAT?" Daniel screams with barely
suppressed fury. At this point, Jack actually seems a
bit nervous. He could swear he can actually see steam
coming from Daniel's ears.
"Now calm down, it was just a stupid rock. You've got
tons of them. You know...Seen one, seen them all. Hey
Daniel, where are you going?" Jack asks as Daniel
proceeds to leave the room.
Now he could be heard in the other room throwing and
breaking seemingly anything he could get his hands on.
At this point, all the anger at being taken captive
left Jack. With a menacing smile slowly forming on his
face, he realizes that he has already paid Daniel back
for this escapade. With revenge no longer on his mind,
he decides to just go along for the ride.
The crashes and bangs in the other room slowly
dissipated as Daniel obviously worked some of his fury
off. He then re-enters the dining room.
Jack asks, "So Danny, done with your little temper
tantrum? You know I can have Doc Frasier set you up
with some anger management classes."
Daniel just stood there glaring at Jack. A look of
hysteria plastered across his face. Suddenly, he goes
back into the kitchen, returning with a roll of silver
tape in his hands.
"Daniel..." A slightly startled Jack replies. "Come on
now. Don't do this! Daniel....DANEIL!!" Jack was
swiftly silenced when Daniel did indeed tape his mouth
shut.
"What's the matter Jack? Nothing more to say?" Daniel
taunts, face sneering, eyes wide.
"Mmph," was all Jack could reply.
Daniel, now dripping with sarcasm, puts his hand to
his ear. "Hmm? Jack? What? What was that? I didn't
quite hear you!"
Here, Jack starts to shake a bit. 'Is he....He's
laughing! That son of a bitch is laughing!' Daniel was
incredulous at Jack's audacity. "Well Jack, let's see
how funny you think this is!" Daniel proceeds to do an
about face, and walk out the door. Just before he
closes it behind him, he screams, "You owe me
royalties!" and slams the door. Now leaving a once
again irate Jack struggling against his bonds.
'Dead man Daniel. Dead man.'
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~The Next Morning~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Daniel tapped his fingers on the briefing table.
Nervous, he awaits Jack to enter the room and exact
his revenge. He realized in cold light of day, he was
a dead man. Sam and Teal'c sat there, looking at their
friend with concern. Teal'c sat next to Daniel, while
Sam sat across.
They all were staring at the clock wondering what was
keeping the General and Colonel. Suddenly the door
opens and they rise from their seats. General Hammond
walks in and tells them to take their seats.
"Does anyone know the location of Colonel O'Neill?" he
asks the three SG1 members. "I've been trying to get a
hold of him all morning. There has been no answer at
his house."
"No Sir," Sam replies.
Daniel's face pales. Shooting a look at Teal'c he
whispers, "You did go back and release him....Right?"
Teal'c replies, "DanielJackson. I thought you would
release him when you were done."
"Oh god!" Daniel says. Dropping his head on the hard
surface of the table.
"Are you alright Daniel?" Sam's concerned voice asks.
Daniel continues to mumble under his breath. He lifts
his head when he hears Hammond's voice.
"Do we need to call the infirmary, Doctor Jackson?"
"Not yet," He replies. Panic pure in his voice.
"Sir," he says. Voice dropping to sound like a
teenager hitting puberty. "Can I be placed in the
Witness Protection Program?" Dropping his head down
again on the table.
Hammond's eyes narrow. He's about to respond when he
hears Teal'c say, "Do not fear DanielJackson. I will
protect you from O'Neill's fury."
Daniel pops his head up, "Oh really! Who's gonna
protect you?"
Teal'c ponders this thought for a moment, and turns to
Hammond. He asks, "General Hammond. Do they allow
Jaffa in this program?"
Hammond lifts his hand to his head. Shaking his head
he says,
"What the blazing hell have you done this time?"