You don’t HAVE to call me “Master”…
…but you would certainly be correct in doing so. Having finally achieved this level of education/poverty, I have begun to reflect on a handful of the many others that precede me in this distinction.
Master Yoda: Yoda was 900 years old at the time of his death. Only 340 of those years were spent in graduate school. As is evident from his speech, Master Yoda’s degree was in grammar. He attempted to correct the atrocious grammar of those around him through his own example, but to no avail. As a result, language fell throughout multiple galaxies and today only the Japanese and a few other exceptional language groups retain the proper sentence structure of the Old Republic.
Master Blaster: The villain from Kidd Video and would-be ruler of The Flipside. Given his attempts to steal (allegedly) good music and pass it off as the work of the band he was pimping (the Copy Cats), it’s fairly safe to assume he was an MBA.
The Master: Renegade Time Lord. He is perpetually resentful of The Doctor (Who) for the latter’s having attained a higher degree. The Master is known to periodically mutter “I’ll bet it’s only an honorary doctorate.”
Dr. Science: Rodney: Remember, he’s not a real doctor.
Dr. Science: I have a master’s degree.
Rodney: In science.
(another) The Master: 1984 NBC series starring Lee Van Cleef as an aging ninja. He had mastered not only ninjutsu, but also the art of having one’s show cancelled for failing to be the next A-Team.
Masters of the Universe: Apparently, everyone from “He-Man and the Masters of the Universe” who was not He-Man. Don’t feel bad for He-Man though; he held two doctorates (sports medicine and marketing). I’m not exactly sure how they managed to master the universe since they almost exclusively squabbled over a single castle on a single continent of a single planet. It is good to know that the education system of Eternia cranked out so many Masters-level intellects, but it is a shame that none of the required classes covered the many reasons why it’s a bad idea to wear fur briefs.
The Masters: Some golf thing. I wouldn’t know; I hate sports and most sport-like hobbies including golf. Before you retort that golf is a sport, let me point out that any game you can play outdoors for hours at a time without a single sweat stain on your polo and khakis is not a sport.
Master Yoda: Yoda was 900 years old at the time of his death. Only 340 of those years were spent in graduate school. As is evident from his speech, Master Yoda’s degree was in grammar. He attempted to correct the atrocious grammar of those around him through his own example, but to no avail. As a result, language fell throughout multiple galaxies and today only the Japanese and a few other exceptional language groups retain the proper sentence structure of the Old Republic.
Master Blaster: The villain from Kidd Video and would-be ruler of The Flipside. Given his attempts to steal (allegedly) good music and pass it off as the work of the band he was pimping (the Copy Cats), it’s fairly safe to assume he was an MBA.
The Master: Renegade Time Lord. He is perpetually resentful of The Doctor (Who) for the latter’s having attained a higher degree. The Master is known to periodically mutter “I’ll bet it’s only an honorary doctorate.”
Dr. Science: Rodney: Remember, he’s not a real doctor.
Dr. Science: I have a master’s degree.
Rodney: In science.
(another) The Master: 1984 NBC series starring Lee Van Cleef as an aging ninja. He had mastered not only ninjutsu, but also the art of having one’s show cancelled for failing to be the next A-Team.
Masters of the Universe: Apparently, everyone from “He-Man and the Masters of the Universe” who was not He-Man. Don’t feel bad for He-Man though; he held two doctorates (sports medicine and marketing). I’m not exactly sure how they managed to master the universe since they almost exclusively squabbled over a single castle on a single continent of a single planet. It is good to know that the education system of Eternia cranked out so many Masters-level intellects, but it is a shame that none of the required classes covered the many reasons why it’s a bad idea to wear fur briefs.
The Masters: Some golf thing. I wouldn’t know; I hate sports and most sport-like hobbies including golf. Before you retort that golf is a sport, let me point out that any game you can play outdoors for hours at a time without a single sweat stain on your polo and khakis is not a sport.