Hot diggity damn man
Right now, I feel like running around in circles and randomly punching things as I pass them. I'm so frustrated, I don't even know where to begin.
I'll crap on about my train ride in the meantime and work my way to everything else.
You know, this morning, I had a revelation. It wasn't a "We're on a mission from God" Blues Brothers type revelation, it was more of an "i'm bored so I'll see what's going on around me on the train" type of revelation.
You know what I realised? I realised that for every good looking person on my train, there were 30 ugly cunts. No, serious. I'm not saying I'm one of the good looking peoples, I more than likely fall somewhere into the 2nd category. I'm being very general when I say ugly too. I'm using that as a blanket statement for "not very nice to look at often". I'm sure I do know that beauty is only skin deep and that at least 28 of the ugly cunts I counted were absolutely beautiful on the inside, and that 2 of them were, well, just ugly ugly, but seriously - there are some absolute woofers on the Sydenham line train before 8am on a weekday. There was one guy that was sitting across from me, he had a very square head, but he had the face of that singing fish. You know the one I'm talking about, not that I can remember what song the fish sang, but if you're a fan of the melbourne Footy Show, you would've seen Sam Newman belt the absolute fuck out of this thing, and STILL it kept on singing! Not that I'm gonna belt the square headed, fish faced, guy to see if he sings or anything, I'm not a violent person (ignore the introductory line to this post please), I just would've had a good chuckle if he did sing. Ugly as sin, hilarious to look at. Oh, OH! WHICH REMINDS ME. Yesterday, on the train ride home, there was this little munchkin guy - serious, I think he escaped from the land of Oz or something, someone tell the wizard - who just STARED at me the whole way home. It's around about a 30 odd minute train ride. Whenever I looked up, he was just STARING. I don't even think he blinked. Seriously. I'd look out the window, and I could see him out of the corner of my eye, just staring at me. In the end, I stared back at him, and do you know what? HE DIDN'T EVEN LOOK AWAY! You know how if you get caught staring, you blink, and quickly avert your eyes because you don't want it known you're staring? Not this little munchkin. I swear, he had little man syndrome, he was ready to take me on in a midget wrestling match or something. Freak.
The funniest thing happened this morning - not to me (that happened later) - there's a new shop in the little arcade near my work, and a very portly gentleman decided he wanted to peruse the wares of this new shop, and off he wanders BAM! straight into the window. Well, this fine gentleman thought "oh no, the door is closed, I shall push it open as i WALK RIGHT BACK INTO THE FUCKING WINDOW THAT IS NOT ACTUALLY A DOOR IT'S A WINDOW BUT I'LL TRY AND WALK THRU IT ANYWAY!"
I got busted laughing my ass off at him, seriously, I'm gonna go to hell, and karma is an absolutely self righteous bastard, coz I couldn't help myself. I nearly fell off the chair. Once, I would've gone "oh, I hope he's okay.." but twice, he deserves every little piece of BWUAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAA I had on offer. Anyway, as I said, I got busted laughing, and he came up to me and said "So you think that was funny, do you?" HELL DUDE WHAT THE FUCK AM I GONNA REPLY? I'm sitting there, coffee in one hand, cigarette in the other, LAUGHING MY GODDAMNED ASS OFF, and you want me to say "no sir, i didn't think it was funny at all.." It's probably what I should've said, I could've lied and said "no dude, that's not funny, I was laughing at an sms I just got.. are you ok?" (considering I sent an sms about him doing it as soon as he did it) but naw, I went on laughing and said "dude, that's not funny, that's hilarious, but are you ok?" He didn't grace my question with a response. See what happens when you care?! How rude.
Anyway, like I said, Karma, that bastard of a thing that it is, got me back on my lunch break. Here's me, rushing back to the office, smoke in hand (as usual), and not watching where I'm going. The only way I could describe it (and those of you with twitter have already seen the description in < 160 characters) is this - remember that scene in Miss Congeniality where Sandra Bullock is all hotted up and about to board the plane? The one where she's wearing the hot pink dress and is walking down the runway in her heels? Do you remember the stack that she took? Yeah.
Karma.
Rush rush back to the office, turn the corner out of the arcade and head towards the revolving doors. Pass the cafes and all their fully occupied chairs, almost get to the revolving doors, then BOOM! Face first into the pavers. Be proud, I didn't even drop my cigarette. I went for the biggest six, this was funnniest home videos material, seriously (oh hey, it was right near the same revolving doors I got pinballed thru last week). I have to admit, tho, the execution of the whole spectacular was fantastic. I fell, landed on my hands and toes (imagine I'm doing the pushups..) stood up immediately, dusted myself off, and continued walking. I shot a few people "why are you looking at me? STOP LOOKING AT ME!" glares on the way thru, made it back up to the office in one piece (after finishing my cigarette of course) and then proceeded to tell twitter about it. Yup, I'm a fucking TOOL! At least window+face guy wasn't there to see it. That would've just been embarrassing.
Things went smoothly from there, til I came back from my final break. We had a team meeting. This job, the awesome, fantastic, fantabulous job, that I have, looks like it will be ending in approximately 8 weeks. The good news is, this is a government temp job, this means that 8 weeks may actually translate into 6 months, but for now - they're closing up the melbourne office once they get the go ahead, and transferring everything to Moe. This is a 2 hour drive from my place, and even though they've told me that they will have a job for me in Moe, I seriously can't take the offer, no matter how much I want to. Oh yeah, this is the reason I want to run around in circles and punch things randomly, just incase you weren't sure. I dunno what's gonna happen, the only thing I do know is that I'm rostered on until the end of June and that they've guaranteed that all the shifts I've been offered, will still be there whilst the melbourne office is still running.
Bleh. That's all I want to say about that, other than the fact that they were really nice about it and that they're offering to help us find other work. That's great, but hey, I want this job. I like this job. Why can't I keep this job? Can I throw a tantrum that's equivalent to a 3 year old's "I WANT A LOLLYPOP" type tantrum now please? Thanks. I think I just might.
haha oh hey, I just noticed I could change my LJ language from english to about 20 others. I might do that for my own lols. (You won't be able to see this, but I will, it'll entertain me for about 10 seconds, surely).
I'll crap on about my train ride in the meantime and work my way to everything else.
You know, this morning, I had a revelation. It wasn't a "We're on a mission from God" Blues Brothers type revelation, it was more of an "i'm bored so I'll see what's going on around me on the train" type of revelation.
You know what I realised? I realised that for every good looking person on my train, there were 30 ugly cunts. No, serious. I'm not saying I'm one of the good looking peoples, I more than likely fall somewhere into the 2nd category. I'm being very general when I say ugly too. I'm using that as a blanket statement for "not very nice to look at often". I'm sure I do know that beauty is only skin deep and that at least 28 of the ugly cunts I counted were absolutely beautiful on the inside, and that 2 of them were, well, just ugly ugly, but seriously - there are some absolute woofers on the Sydenham line train before 8am on a weekday. There was one guy that was sitting across from me, he had a very square head, but he had the face of that singing fish. You know the one I'm talking about, not that I can remember what song the fish sang, but if you're a fan of the melbourne Footy Show, you would've seen Sam Newman belt the absolute fuck out of this thing, and STILL it kept on singing! Not that I'm gonna belt the square headed, fish faced, guy to see if he sings or anything, I'm not a violent person (ignore the introductory line to this post please), I just would've had a good chuckle if he did sing. Ugly as sin, hilarious to look at. Oh, OH! WHICH REMINDS ME. Yesterday, on the train ride home, there was this little munchkin guy - serious, I think he escaped from the land of Oz or something, someone tell the wizard - who just STARED at me the whole way home. It's around about a 30 odd minute train ride. Whenever I looked up, he was just STARING. I don't even think he blinked. Seriously. I'd look out the window, and I could see him out of the corner of my eye, just staring at me. In the end, I stared back at him, and do you know what? HE DIDN'T EVEN LOOK AWAY! You know how if you get caught staring, you blink, and quickly avert your eyes because you don't want it known you're staring? Not this little munchkin. I swear, he had little man syndrome, he was ready to take me on in a midget wrestling match or something. Freak.
The funniest thing happened this morning - not to me (that happened later) - there's a new shop in the little arcade near my work, and a very portly gentleman decided he wanted to peruse the wares of this new shop, and off he wanders BAM! straight into the window. Well, this fine gentleman thought "oh no, the door is closed, I shall push it open as i WALK RIGHT BACK INTO THE FUCKING WINDOW THAT IS NOT ACTUALLY A DOOR IT'S A WINDOW BUT I'LL TRY AND WALK THRU IT ANYWAY!"
I got busted laughing my ass off at him, seriously, I'm gonna go to hell, and karma is an absolutely self righteous bastard, coz I couldn't help myself. I nearly fell off the chair. Once, I would've gone "oh, I hope he's okay.." but twice, he deserves every little piece of BWUAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAA I had on offer. Anyway, as I said, I got busted laughing, and he came up to me and said "So you think that was funny, do you?" HELL DUDE WHAT THE FUCK AM I GONNA REPLY? I'm sitting there, coffee in one hand, cigarette in the other, LAUGHING MY GODDAMNED ASS OFF, and you want me to say "no sir, i didn't think it was funny at all.." It's probably what I should've said, I could've lied and said "no dude, that's not funny, I was laughing at an sms I just got.. are you ok?" (considering I sent an sms about him doing it as soon as he did it) but naw, I went on laughing and said "dude, that's not funny, that's hilarious, but are you ok?" He didn't grace my question with a response. See what happens when you care?! How rude.
Anyway, like I said, Karma, that bastard of a thing that it is, got me back on my lunch break. Here's me, rushing back to the office, smoke in hand (as usual), and not watching where I'm going. The only way I could describe it (and those of you with twitter have already seen the description in < 160 characters) is this - remember that scene in Miss Congeniality where Sandra Bullock is all hotted up and about to board the plane? The one where she's wearing the hot pink dress and is walking down the runway in her heels? Do you remember the stack that she took? Yeah.
Karma.
Rush rush back to the office, turn the corner out of the arcade and head towards the revolving doors. Pass the cafes and all their fully occupied chairs, almost get to the revolving doors, then BOOM! Face first into the pavers. Be proud, I didn't even drop my cigarette. I went for the biggest six, this was funnniest home videos material, seriously (oh hey, it was right near the same revolving doors I got pinballed thru last week). I have to admit, tho, the execution of the whole spectacular was fantastic. I fell, landed on my hands and toes (imagine I'm doing the pushups..) stood up immediately, dusted myself off, and continued walking. I shot a few people "why are you looking at me? STOP LOOKING AT ME!" glares on the way thru, made it back up to the office in one piece (after finishing my cigarette of course) and then proceeded to tell twitter about it. Yup, I'm a fucking TOOL! At least window+face guy wasn't there to see it. That would've just been embarrassing.
Things went smoothly from there, til I came back from my final break. We had a team meeting. This job, the awesome, fantastic, fantabulous job, that I have, looks like it will be ending in approximately 8 weeks. The good news is, this is a government temp job, this means that 8 weeks may actually translate into 6 months, but for now - they're closing up the melbourne office once they get the go ahead, and transferring everything to Moe. This is a 2 hour drive from my place, and even though they've told me that they will have a job for me in Moe, I seriously can't take the offer, no matter how much I want to. Oh yeah, this is the reason I want to run around in circles and punch things randomly, just incase you weren't sure. I dunno what's gonna happen, the only thing I do know is that I'm rostered on until the end of June and that they've guaranteed that all the shifts I've been offered, will still be there whilst the melbourne office is still running.
Bleh. That's all I want to say about that, other than the fact that they were really nice about it and that they're offering to help us find other work. That's great, but hey, I want this job. I like this job. Why can't I keep this job? Can I throw a tantrum that's equivalent to a 3 year old's "I WANT A LOLLYPOP" type tantrum now please? Thanks. I think I just might.
haha oh hey, I just noticed I could change my LJ language from english to about 20 others. I might do that for my own lols. (You won't be able to see this, but I will, it'll entertain me for about 10 seconds, surely).