Then Again, Maybe He Will
Title: Then Again, Maybe He Will
Author: dqbunny
Fandom/Characters: Doctor Who, Eleven/River, Amy/Rory
Rating: T
Word Count: 727
Spoilers: Is canon-complaint through the end of series 6. I found myself reflecting on certain dialogue from "Day of the Moon" and wondered what would happen if it went the other way.
Summary: "Stop it," he always tells her. "Make me," she challenges. "Maybe I will," he threatens. For once, the Doctor makes good on his threat.
Most spouses bickered over the mundane things. What to have for dinner and where. Slipping a red sock in a basket of whites. Which movie to see. Very ordinary things.
The Doctor and River Song argued over who could build the better bomb.
"Look, who has approximately 900 more years of doing this than you do?"
"We both agreed that turning this console into a time-lapse bomb is the best way of getting rid of the Ioromian torture facility, and to do that without taking out the rest of the planet, we need this particular bomb that Jack taught me how to build. I can handle it, my love. Go build a dollhouse." She kissed his cheek before turning to the console.
"A dollhouse? I'm The Doctor!" He called up a map of the area. Two blinking blue dots indicated human life signs not far from them -- Amy and Rory, who had gone ahead to set up a barricade to keep the invading forces out long enough for them to rig the bomb.
River flipped a couple switches, then scanned the resulting data on screen, memorizing the override codes they needed to get out of the facility. "Fine, then go build a chemist's shop."
"That's really rude! I really should stop you from doing that." His hands flew over the console, shutting it down.
"Make me," she said cheekily, blowing him a kiss before prying it open.
"Maybe I will." He sidled up behind her, aiming his screwdriver at a panel within the console. A zap of sonic rays, and it was promptly fried.
She laughed as she began to combine the wires into a lethal weapon. It really was the same argument every single time. Bless. "No, you won't."
She wasn't quite sure what happened next, except that her attention was literally jerked away from rewiring the console -- a maneuver which had nearly taken out half the planet -- when he pulled her around and kissed her. Instinct took over, and her tools clattered to the ground as she fisted his hair. It was a mad, wild kiss with dueling tongues and breathless moans as his hands slipped down and cupped her bum, angling her hips into his as his teeth sank into her lower lip.
Neither of them heard the doors slide open or Amy rush in.
"OK, Rory has the barricade set up, and I'm going to … what the hell are you doing? This is no time for kissing! You two always do this! What is this, some sort of Time Lord mating ritual? Get into life-threatening situation, flirt like hell then have a mad shag? Is this some sort of turn on for you? Wait, don't tell me, I already know the answer. OK, look, there's a wall. Shag and get it out of your systems while I'm going to go save the universe with Rory. Have fun!" With a swish of hair, Amy was out of the room before either of them could react.
"Where are they?" Rory asked Amy when she reached the barricade, just as he shot a third Ioromian.
"Right behind me. They're taking care of things." Amy hefted what passed for a Aleq gun into place next to his and decided it was better for everyone that she didn't elaborate.
They'd taken down three more Ioromians before a loud buzzer echoed through the area. The air shimmered as the forcefield came down, just as the Doctor and River sprinted up the stairs looking somewhat disheveled and River's gun in her hand.
"Forcefield's down, we've got 10 minutes to get back to the TARDIS before the bomb River ridged explodes. Which would have been eight if I'd done it …"
"And blown us all to kingdom come while we're at it, sweetie."
"Oh, it doesn't matter!" Amy cut in before they could start their usual bickering. "What about the rest of the Ioromians?"
Feet clattered on the stairs. River quickly pivoted and shot the Ioromian as he hit the doorway. "Dead," she said, shoving her gun back into her thigh holster.
Her common sense knew not to ask, but Amy's mouth was already working before said better judgement kicked in. "And the wall?"
River grinned. "Well-used."
The Doctor coughed and turned away, blushing and fidgeting with his cuffs.
"What wall?" Rory asked.
"Don't ask," Amy, River, and the Doctor all said at once.
Fun story fact: The entire story was written more or less backwards starting with Amy's rant and Rory asking "What wall?"
Author: dqbunny
Fandom/Characters: Doctor Who, Eleven/River, Amy/Rory
Rating: T
Word Count: 727
Spoilers: Is canon-complaint through the end of series 6. I found myself reflecting on certain dialogue from "Day of the Moon" and wondered what would happen if it went the other way.
Summary: "Stop it," he always tells her. "Make me," she challenges. "Maybe I will," he threatens. For once, the Doctor makes good on his threat.
Most spouses bickered over the mundane things. What to have for dinner and where. Slipping a red sock in a basket of whites. Which movie to see. Very ordinary things.
The Doctor and River Song argued over who could build the better bomb.
"Look, who has approximately 900 more years of doing this than you do?"
"We both agreed that turning this console into a time-lapse bomb is the best way of getting rid of the Ioromian torture facility, and to do that without taking out the rest of the planet, we need this particular bomb that Jack taught me how to build. I can handle it, my love. Go build a dollhouse." She kissed his cheek before turning to the console.
"A dollhouse? I'm The Doctor!" He called up a map of the area. Two blinking blue dots indicated human life signs not far from them -- Amy and Rory, who had gone ahead to set up a barricade to keep the invading forces out long enough for them to rig the bomb.
River flipped a couple switches, then scanned the resulting data on screen, memorizing the override codes they needed to get out of the facility. "Fine, then go build a chemist's shop."
"That's really rude! I really should stop you from doing that." His hands flew over the console, shutting it down.
"Make me," she said cheekily, blowing him a kiss before prying it open.
"Maybe I will." He sidled up behind her, aiming his screwdriver at a panel within the console. A zap of sonic rays, and it was promptly fried.
She laughed as she began to combine the wires into a lethal weapon. It really was the same argument every single time. Bless. "No, you won't."
She wasn't quite sure what happened next, except that her attention was literally jerked away from rewiring the console -- a maneuver which had nearly taken out half the planet -- when he pulled her around and kissed her. Instinct took over, and her tools clattered to the ground as she fisted his hair. It was a mad, wild kiss with dueling tongues and breathless moans as his hands slipped down and cupped her bum, angling her hips into his as his teeth sank into her lower lip.
Neither of them heard the doors slide open or Amy rush in.
"OK, Rory has the barricade set up, and I'm going to … what the hell are you doing? This is no time for kissing! You two always do this! What is this, some sort of Time Lord mating ritual? Get into life-threatening situation, flirt like hell then have a mad shag? Is this some sort of turn on for you? Wait, don't tell me, I already know the answer. OK, look, there's a wall. Shag and get it out of your systems while I'm going to go save the universe with Rory. Have fun!" With a swish of hair, Amy was out of the room before either of them could react.
"Where are they?" Rory asked Amy when she reached the barricade, just as he shot a third Ioromian.
"Right behind me. They're taking care of things." Amy hefted what passed for a Aleq gun into place next to his and decided it was better for everyone that she didn't elaborate.
They'd taken down three more Ioromians before a loud buzzer echoed through the area. The air shimmered as the forcefield came down, just as the Doctor and River sprinted up the stairs looking somewhat disheveled and River's gun in her hand.
"Forcefield's down, we've got 10 minutes to get back to the TARDIS before the bomb River ridged explodes. Which would have been eight if I'd done it …"
"And blown us all to kingdom come while we're at it, sweetie."
"Oh, it doesn't matter!" Amy cut in before they could start their usual bickering. "What about the rest of the Ioromians?"
Feet clattered on the stairs. River quickly pivoted and shot the Ioromian as he hit the doorway. "Dead," she said, shoving her gun back into her thigh holster.
Her common sense knew not to ask, but Amy's mouth was already working before said better judgement kicked in. "And the wall?"
River grinned. "Well-used."
The Doctor coughed and turned away, blushing and fidgeting with his cuffs.
"What wall?" Rory asked.
"Don't ask," Amy, River, and the Doctor all said at once.
Fun story fact: The entire story was written more or less backwards starting with Amy's rant and Rory asking "What wall?"