Concerning the changes in So Let It Be Said, So Let It Be Done
This is what I plan to do and am currently doing:
1. I have decided I am going to write Yuugi Mutou the way I see him, even if it comes off as 'wrong' to others. I've realized I can't write him any other way than the way I want to depict him here. He's not going to be spending the story being Sullen Sally but neither is he going to be a "shiny happy people" person either (it's a reference to a song ditty recorded a long time ago, I wouldn't expect anyone here to get it). His optimism and desire to believe the best of people to me are the most important aspects of his character and I'm going to attempt to preserve those. However, my depiction of Yuugi is going to be a little more critical, a little more down-to-earth and less happy-go-lucky. Readers are free not to like my portrayal and say so but it's not going to change my intentions.
2. I've taken down the chapter "Love In Cairo, Part II" and have started the process of redirecting the narrative. That said, Sarah and Atem aren't jumping into bed just yet. I feel they don't have enough interpersonal development other than the phone conversations, which I have not shown them having enough of them to convince my readers of a close and intimate friendship. I only implied they talked more than I showed. I feel it would better serve the development between them if I had them develop that attraction to that intimate end in person.
3. I have removed and edited out all Japanese suffixes and will not be using anything other than American prefixes i.e. "Mr" "Ms" and so and so forth. However, and I have included a footnote to this chapter about this, I have left in Yuugi's use of "sayonara." My two Japanese language guides do not indicate I have used the word in an incorrect manner. One defines it merely as 'good bye' and the other is more explicit, indicating it is only something one says to someone when they don't expect to see that person again for a long time. Yuugi is not seeing Malik or the unknown-to-him Atem for several weeks. The reason why I've done all of this is because I'm not an expert at the Japanese language even though I have done a lot of research into the culture. In order to avoid much, if any, conflict over the use of Japanese honorifics, I've done away with them entirely, even if I used them properly within the correct context (i.e. I got rid of Shizuka's 'Honda-kun' even though that IS the correct way for her to address him or refer to him). However....(see 4).
4. I will be keeping the 'aibou' and the 'mou hitori no boku.' :) That IS what they call each other and no other.
EDIT
5. I have removed all chapters up to "Dueling and Duel Monsters." I was happy with the story up until after that point. I may either rework some of those chapters or axe some of them entirely. The only clue I will give as to what direction I plan on going is that Yuugi is NOT going to be finding out about Atem any time soon. That was my original plan and I've decided I should have stuck with it in the first place.