(no subject)
I wish I was more practiced in being consistently happy, or at peace or whatever. This up and down with my moods is constant.
But wait. Maybe this is my normal state of school stress that has always existed.
And in relation to my better understanding of joy, this just feels much lower.
I'm really resisting WORK. Of any kind. Why is there so much effort? In school? In myself?
I am sliding down to accepting a proficient understanding of things. B student.
A lot of knowledge just feels so unnourished. It's hard for me to find meaning in it like I did before.
I just want to look at fractals all day and drink tea and read and talk to strangers.
But wait. Maybe this is my normal state of school stress that has always existed.
And in relation to my better understanding of joy, this just feels much lower.
I'm really resisting WORK. Of any kind. Why is there so much effort? In school? In myself?
I am sliding down to accepting a proficient understanding of things. B student.
A lot of knowledge just feels so unnourished. It's hard for me to find meaning in it like I did before.
I just want to look at fractals all day and drink tea and read and talk to strangers.