Avoid this book at all costs! The Bride Wore Blue by Cheryl Bolen. I'm glad it was free.
Kim
I am perturbed
Kali
Y
Kim
this author is really quite disturbing!!
Kali
I hope no matter I never perturbe my readers!
Kim
further on in this (admittedly very trashy, my eyes have rolled so much I am surprised they are still in my head) novel, there is a sex scene
I don't mind them as long as they're well written
but this one has her thinking "now that she felt Thomas's lifeblood pumping into her..."
I AM DISTURBED
Kali
HAHAHAHA!!!
Kim
does the author have NO knowledge of biology?
Are men made THAT much differently to women?
DISTUUUUUUUUUUUUURBED!
Kali
Awesome. Maybe they're practicing.
Kim
or, or, or
or she's a vampire and er, no, that doesn't work. And is possibly icky.
Kali
There used to be a Bad Writing Contest. Is that still a thing? She could win
Kim
I want her to, if it does exist still
oh gods
"this - being within Thomas's arms, joined at the bottom of their torsos - was where shehad dreamed of being."
I may expire of laughter
Kali
I'm dying here!
Kim
now she has "his essence slipping down her thighs"
ewwwwwwww
Kali
ewwww
Kim
but she can't bring herself to part from him
Kali
Well, she doesn't want it all over her newly-laundered sheets. It ruins them...
Kim
scenario being, by the way, they are at a picnic in the countryside, exploring some ruins, with her young sister and brother, and their respective beloveds, plus her bff and the DASTARDLY Colonel. (who hasn't DONE anything yet apart from drink all the Bordeaux and go to sleep!)
Kali
Now, if she could roll him off without further spills...
Kim
oh, no, they're STOOD UP
I need Emma
she'd love this
it's SO BAD
Kali
Emma? THe Austen puckly girl?
Kim
no, my bonkers friend who has a million dogs and snakeses
Emma Judson - you might encounter her occasionally on my wall :)
Kali
Oh!
Kim
another annoying thing about this book - author seems to be a bit incompetent with English naming
she has 3 main females - Felicity, Carlotta, and...
have a guess at a good name for a young girl in England between 1809 and 1820
Kali
Tiffany
Kim
nope
much, much worse
Kali
Elizabeth
Kim
Glee
Kali
Glee?
that's fucking stupid!
Kim e
it's just... a word!
she has them going for walks through Bath, and she's giving descriptions in numbers of blocks. I don't think she's ever BEEN here. We don't have blocks (well, I think MK might, but that is probably the only place in the whole bloody country!)
ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww "Felicity sat there (on the rug) still moistened from Thomas's essence, praying it would not bleed through her skirts) I want to stabbity stab stab ms author!!
Kali
Well, in the time period "blocks" are non-existing too, aren't they?
Kim
she's a complete ninny. I'm only reading cos I want to know what the DASTARDLY Colonel has planned. I've washed my hands of the heroine!
yes
It may have been written for an American audience, but she could at least've respected them enough to make it a bit more believable
Kali
Maybe the dastardly colonel IS your heroine (see? THAT's a plot twist)
Kim
he stood over her husband and shotted him with a big nasty gun!
deary me, I'm turning into the author
stupid heroine has shut herself in her room for 3 days and nights and is refusing to see anyone. Drastic diet? Just cos she shagged the guy she loves who she now thinks doesn't respect her. *headdesk* GET ON WITH THE VILLAIN!!
OH NO
It's the old sleeping potion in her soup and shag her whilst she's unconscious trick!
OH NOOOO, who will save the unconscious heroine?!
Right. she's unconscious, and the DASTARDLY Colonel is now endeavouring to drag her upstairs in the inn in which he has procured a room for Mr + Mrs Colonel, whilst also trying to manage his walking stick, and mentally complaining that he doesn't have 3 hands...
Our Hero is riding to the rescue whilst keeping his eyes peeled for the only bright red coach in the country, and complaining to himself about the frequency of villages along the road....
and at the same time is reminiscing to himself about the time they spent together at the ruins. *giggle*
Yay! DASTARDLY Villain is dead. Her brother shot him just as he was about to Do The Unthinkable. Ewww. "blood spilled down his shirt - and lower, to where the colonel's prominent manhood became wrapped in scarlet."
"What the hell was the bloody fiend trying to do?"
Darling, if you can't work that one out, I despair...
I am perturbed
Kali
Y
Kim
this author is really quite disturbing!!
Kali
I hope no matter I never perturbe my readers!
Kim
further on in this (admittedly very trashy, my eyes have rolled so much I am surprised they are still in my head) novel, there is a sex scene
I don't mind them as long as they're well written
but this one has her thinking "now that she felt Thomas's lifeblood pumping into her..."
I AM DISTURBED
Kali
HAHAHAHA!!!
Kim
does the author have NO knowledge of biology?
Are men made THAT much differently to women?
DISTUUUUUUUUUUUUURBED!
Kali
Awesome. Maybe they're practicing.
Kim
or, or, or
or she's a vampire and er, no, that doesn't work. And is possibly icky.
Kali
There used to be a Bad Writing Contest. Is that still a thing? She could win
Kim
I want her to, if it does exist still
oh gods
"this - being within Thomas's arms, joined at the bottom of their torsos - was where shehad dreamed of being."
I may expire of laughter
Kali
I'm dying here!
Kim
now she has "his essence slipping down her thighs"
ewwwwwwww
Kali
ewwww
Kim
but she can't bring herself to part from him
Kali
Well, she doesn't want it all over her newly-laundered sheets. It ruins them...
Kim
scenario being, by the way, they are at a picnic in the countryside, exploring some ruins, with her young sister and brother, and their respective beloveds, plus her bff and the DASTARDLY Colonel. (who hasn't DONE anything yet apart from drink all the Bordeaux and go to sleep!)
Kali
Now, if she could roll him off without further spills...
Kim
oh, no, they're STOOD UP
I need Emma
she'd love this
it's SO BAD
Kali
Emma? THe Austen puckly girl?
Kim
no, my bonkers friend who has a million dogs and snakeses
Emma Judson - you might encounter her occasionally on my wall :)
Kali
Oh!
Kim
another annoying thing about this book - author seems to be a bit incompetent with English naming
she has 3 main females - Felicity, Carlotta, and...
have a guess at a good name for a young girl in England between 1809 and 1820
Kali
Tiffany
Kim
nope
much, much worse
Kali
Elizabeth
Kim
Glee
Kali
Glee?
that's fucking stupid!
Kim e
it's just... a word!
she has them going for walks through Bath, and she's giving descriptions in numbers of blocks. I don't think she's ever BEEN here. We don't have blocks (well, I think MK might, but that is probably the only place in the whole bloody country!)
ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww "Felicity sat there (on the rug) still moistened from Thomas's essence, praying it would not bleed through her skirts) I want to stabbity stab stab ms author!!
Kali
Well, in the time period "blocks" are non-existing too, aren't they?
Kim
she's a complete ninny. I'm only reading cos I want to know what the DASTARDLY Colonel has planned. I've washed my hands of the heroine!
yes
It may have been written for an American audience, but she could at least've respected them enough to make it a bit more believable
Kali
Maybe the dastardly colonel IS your heroine (see? THAT's a plot twist)
Kim
he stood over her husband and shotted him with a big nasty gun!
deary me, I'm turning into the author
stupid heroine has shut herself in her room for 3 days and nights and is refusing to see anyone. Drastic diet? Just cos she shagged the guy she loves who she now thinks doesn't respect her. *headdesk* GET ON WITH THE VILLAIN!!
OH NO
It's the old sleeping potion in her soup and shag her whilst she's unconscious trick!
OH NOOOO, who will save the unconscious heroine?!
Right. she's unconscious, and the DASTARDLY Colonel is now endeavouring to drag her upstairs in the inn in which he has procured a room for Mr + Mrs Colonel, whilst also trying to manage his walking stick, and mentally complaining that he doesn't have 3 hands...
Our Hero is riding to the rescue whilst keeping his eyes peeled for the only bright red coach in the country, and complaining to himself about the frequency of villages along the road....
and at the same time is reminiscing to himself about the time they spent together at the ruins. *giggle*
Yay! DASTARDLY Villain is dead. Her brother shot him just as he was about to Do The Unthinkable. Ewww. "blood spilled down his shirt - and lower, to where the colonel's prominent manhood became wrapped in scarlet."
"What the hell was the bloody fiend trying to do?"
Darling, if you can't work that one out, I despair...