sigh
Tell me there is a time in everyone's life where they feel like they are being left behind.
I recently met someone at volunteering who goes to the same school, is just starting college, but already has more volunteer hours than me. Which makes sense, because he worked at a vet place, building up all those hours. But I feel so far behind. It's almost like there's no hope for me. Like he said, you either need 3k hours or really REALLY good grades. And I'm neither of those.
So, as expected, I call evan on my way home and tell him all of that. He says it's okay, but...he always says that. He wants me to believe it's okay, because I can always take a year off after I graduate to spend time building those hours. I know it's a possibility, but it's not really one that I wanted. At the same time, I watch others who do it in their first shot and worship them like a god.
I think my problem is that I see people do things, but I make too much out of it. My mom says they're just lucky. I always set these huge goals out there for myself and everyone around me, but I get extremely disappointed when things don't go as they 'should'. I complain to evan and finally gather the courage to tell my mom. I'm not sure if I have such high expectations because I really, really want to or if I'm just scared of looking like a failure in my parents' eyes. probably a little of both, but more so the latter.
my mom says it's all okay, which is a huge weight off my shoulder. she says nowadays it'll be hard to get a job but I just have to keep trying. sigh. it's just so hard. I don't take rejection well.
i'm not that open and bubbly person that I want to be. I want to be able to put myself out there without fear of rejection and judgements. I want to be strong. I want to be wise. I want to be all these things, but they'll never come to be if I don't try.
overall, I don't know what I want to be. who I want to be. all I know is I have to keep trying, because it's only too late if you give up.
I recently met someone at volunteering who goes to the same school, is just starting college, but already has more volunteer hours than me. Which makes sense, because he worked at a vet place, building up all those hours. But I feel so far behind. It's almost like there's no hope for me. Like he said, you either need 3k hours or really REALLY good grades. And I'm neither of those.
So, as expected, I call evan on my way home and tell him all of that. He says it's okay, but...he always says that. He wants me to believe it's okay, because I can always take a year off after I graduate to spend time building those hours. I know it's a possibility, but it's not really one that I wanted. At the same time, I watch others who do it in their first shot and worship them like a god.
I think my problem is that I see people do things, but I make too much out of it. My mom says they're just lucky. I always set these huge goals out there for myself and everyone around me, but I get extremely disappointed when things don't go as they 'should'. I complain to evan and finally gather the courage to tell my mom. I'm not sure if I have such high expectations because I really, really want to or if I'm just scared of looking like a failure in my parents' eyes. probably a little of both, but more so the latter.
my mom says it's all okay, which is a huge weight off my shoulder. she says nowadays it'll be hard to get a job but I just have to keep trying. sigh. it's just so hard. I don't take rejection well.
i'm not that open and bubbly person that I want to be. I want to be able to put myself out there without fear of rejection and judgements. I want to be strong. I want to be wise. I want to be all these things, but they'll never come to be if I don't try.
overall, I don't know what I want to be. who I want to be. all I know is I have to keep trying, because it's only too late if you give up.