[What is this...] Maiden Gunnela and Knight Perleman

Mar 31, 2010 11:53

Author: stalkerbunny
Fandom: Um...based on a Swedish medieval ballad, Jungfru Gunnela och Riddar Perleman (Maiden Gunnela and Knight Perleman. For those who can read Swedish, the lyrics are here EDIT: And now also a translation taiyou_to_tsuki made here.
Pairing: Knight Perleman / Coachman Ale
Rating: PG
Warnings: Veiled references to sexuality. Does that even count?
A.N: We were talking about something else, and then taiyou_to_tsuki said "Why is yaoi in a medieval setting always amusing..." And that led to a discussion that led to...this.
The main things I changed from the original story (besides the media) is that Perleman was pretty much this potential rapist which...wouldn't have done at all (I might have been mimicking bad yaoi but there's no need to be that accurate). So I retconned him into a sort of sympathetic guy. And gay. And I gave the coachman a name too. Everything else is pretty much drawn from the original.

Summary: How to get rid of a persistent suitor? A bit of crossdressing and humiliation will do, says Lady Gunnela.


Ale snapped the reins, and the two horses in front of the wagon hastened their trot. However, they were no match to the dark grey horse under the rider trying to catch them.

"Hold on my good man!" Knight Perleman called out after them, sounding just slightly out of breath, and Ale glanced at Lady Gunnela who had turned to look at the rider approaching them as well. She looked annoyed but resigned, and shook her head at his questioning look.

"Might as well hear him...though I think I know what it'll be about," she mumbled, squaring her shoulders royally as Knight Perleman slowed down at their side. He was a tall, wide shouldered man, but with a certain childish quality in his chiselled features. Or maybe it was the round blue eyes that created that effect. Lady Gunnela was of the opinion that it made him look stupid. Ale, though he had not voiced it while Lady Gunnela had expounded on the issue, thought that at the right moment and in the right lightning...Knight Perleman could look almost endearing. In a way.

But there was no accounting for taste.

Right now he was staring at Lady Gunnela like a dog might at particularly enticing bone, adoringly and hungrily.

"Lady Gunnela," he exclaimed, "Have you...considered?"

Knight Perleman's simplicity was not limited to his looks, his speech was equally forthright. Perhaps he didn't mean to be rude, exactly, but did often come across as so. Maybe it was because he had usually gotten what he wanted in his life, and as such had never truly had need to learn to ask for things courteously.

Lady Gunnela's face soured. This was another thing about Knight Perleman she disliked.

"My opinion hasn't changed since you last asked," she told the knight in a decidedly arctic tone. Perleman's face fell, but he soon returned to his previous hopeful smile.

"Are you sure, my lady?" he asked.

"Yes," Gunnela replied, voice increasingly clipped. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I must hurry to the mass."

"May I see you again after?" Knight Perleman insisted.

Lady Gunnela frowned, a refusal on her lips, but then her expression turned considering suddenly. She stared into the distance for a moment, lips moving silently. "Ah, but of course..." she mumbled.

"My lady?" Perleman asked, blinking confusedly.

As he did, Ale noticed from the corner of his eye how he was biting his lower lip. Knight Perleman had plump, dark pink lips, which were only reddened further when he bit then...Ale noticed they were veering to the side of the road and yanked the horses back to the middle of it quickly.

It was a pity that Knight Perleman's character was so spoiled, he thought idly.

While Ale was distracted with his thoughts, Gunnela and Perleman had finished their talk and the Knight had bid her farewell. It was only then that Ale truly noticed the oddly pleased look on Lady Gunnela's face. His eyes met hers, and they glinted in a particular mischievous way Ale remembered from back in the day when they'd both been young children running around on the castle yard. Back then, it had usually been young Gunnela who'd come up with the most outrageous plans. And Ale who'd got the beating afterwards, he recalled and felt an old twinge in his back.

"I have a plan," Lady Gunnela declared.

How ominous indeed.

*

It turned out she'd agreed to meet with Knight Perleman after mass. In fact, she'd even agreed to pay him a visit. But that was only what Knight Perleman knew.

"My Lady, are you sure this...that this is a good idea?" Ale asked, pulling the half transparent veil of Gunnela's headdress to cover his face better.

Lady Gunnela, wearing his clothes and sitting at the front of the wagon just laughed, tossing her head back. Just as when they'd been children, she was clearly enjoying it all.

"Don't worry, Perleman will be so excited over getting his paws on his darling Gunnela he won't notice a thing!"

"That's what I'm worried about..." Ale mumbled, but his heart was not entirely in it.

Gunnela paid him no mind anyway, continuing cheerfully: "He's too stupid to notice a ploy before it kicks him in the...face, anyway. And besides, we've always looked alike, haven't we?"

Ale fell into a sullen silence. The last was unfortunately true. He and Lady Gunnela had born a resemblance since childhood, with their greyish blue eyes and fair hair. Gunnela's had a more golden tinge, whereas Ale's was more sandy, but now his hair was hidden behind the veil in any case, and Gunnela had pushed hers under Ale's cap. Ale had hoped he'd at least grow taller than Gunnela, but no such luck either. It seemed he was doomed to remain short and scrawny...at least compared to the likes of Knight Perleman.

Oh well, Ale shrugged mentally. He had strength enough to do his work with the horses. And it would indeed be amusing to see if they could shake a bit of that arrogance Knight Perleman carried around. He'd just have to be...careful.

*

Knight Perleman was waiting for them at the yard, hastening to give "Lady Gunnela" a hand as the cart pulled in. He even offered to carry her over the puddles of mud scattered over the yard. Ale weighed between his pride and making sure he didn't dirty the hem of Gunnela's best dress. She'd specifically warned him not to...and had a tongue that could cut deeper than a knife when she was mad.

What decided the matter, though, was Gunnela, grinning at him encouragingly when Knight Perleman wasn't watching. Be nice! she mouthed at him. Well, if it was an order...Ale could do nice. He could do it very well.

Knight Perleman's face brightened when Ale agreed to be carried, and he picked him up very carefully, like something precious and breakable. The only thing ruining the effect was the way he preened when they stepped into the house, and the servants arranging a meal into the room turned to look.

"Bring out the best mead and wine! Lady Gunnela will have nothing less, now she's finally here!" Perleman announced to all and sundry, his voice full of pride.

Ale reddened, suddenly feeling...like he was a thing. It was a rather unpleasant feeling, and he immediately asked to be let down.

Knight Perleman did so readily enough, settling Ale on the floor with the same care he'd carried him. For once he seemed to be noticing the small signs about his companion’s mood, and looked at the disguised Ale with a sheepish, confused smile.

"Or, if you'd rather have something else..."

"Oh no, mead and wine is fine!" Ale hastened to say, just barely recalling to pitch his voice higher, closer to Gunnela's.

Perleman frowned,
"Your voice sounds low, dear Gunnela. I noticed the church was cold today, and you always sing so loudly...thought beautifully, of course! But the wine will surely warm and ward off any illness."

There was a quiet snort from behind them, where Gunnela had sneaked in to ask one of maids where she might find the horses something to eat. And, Ale was sure, to check up on how he was faring in fooling Perleman.

"I'm sure it will, " Ale agreed, privately hoping it might also help his remaining nervousness a bit. He was not exactly afraid of Knight Perleman, but Gunnela would not be pleased if her plan didn't work out.

And, if he was entirely honest, he thought after a few horns of mead, it really wasn't such a bad task. The mead and wine were one of the best Ale had tasted, and the food as well. Knight Perleman was sitting right next to him, on a long bench covered with soft furs. They were so close their elbows kept touching, so he could feel the other man's warmth at his side, mingling with the warmth brought on by the drink.

Ale didn't talk much, not wanting Perleman to pay attention to his voice, but that proved to be no problem. Perleman was more than happy to carry the conversation, only growing more verbose the more he drank. He had a pleasant, low voice, and Ale was content the lean on his arm and listen, comfortable and almost drowsy.

He did wake up a bit when Gunnela stepped in, walking fearlessly across the floor right in front of them and going to talk with Perleman's maid on the other side of the large room, offering to help her with heating the oven there. Wouldn't it have been safer to stay away...yes, but of course she had to flaunt her disguise right under Perleman's eye, he thought with an inward sigh.

Gunnela laughed brightly as the flames leaped high from the fireplace, and the maid jumped back with a small cry. Then she said something that made her blush and giggle.

Ale shook his head and took another drink from his drinking horn, before daring to look at Perleman, who, damn it, was indeed looking at Gunnela. His cheeks were reddened by the mead, though, and he looked more idly contemplative than suspicious.

"Say Gunnela, where did you find this coachman?"

"Huh?" Ale asked, perplexed by the sudden change of subject. He even forgot to change his voice again, but Perleman didn't seem to notice.

"I've noticed that he has such kind, lively eyes...see how playfully he looks at that maid right now, even! And such soft fingers, like the wings of a lark. Why, I'm sure she'd..."

But that was when he noticed that Ale had stiffened at his side, drawing up and away from Perleman.

"Oh...forgive me Lady, I spoke without thinking!" Knight Perleman exclaimed, throwing an arm around Ale's shoulders to keep him close.

Ale hesitated, but he was still warm and comfortable, and only more so with Perleman's arm around him, so he eventually settled back against his side.

Really, why should he feel so unsettled by Perleman talking about Gunnela...or Gunnela who Perleman thought was himself, actually. Such an absurd thing to be jealous over...especially considering Perleman had only cared for Gunnela to begin with. Damn, it was kinda confusing to even consider...

He stared morosely at his drinking horn, and the mead glinting in it.

"Is something wrong, dear Gunnela?" Knight Perleman asked kindly, and Ale shrugged.

"Say...why did you love me so again?" Ale asked, wistfully.

Perleman considered this, a bit longer than he would have in the beginning of the evening, when he'd had quite a lot to say about it.

"Um...well, your beauty has long been known across the land, so what knight wouldn't wish for your favour. Indeed, the beauty of other ladies pales to dust when compared to your...um, beauty?" he ended on an uncertain note.

Ale turned to look at him searchingly. It was growing dark, a servant had already come a while ago to light the lamp on the table. Knight Perleman's face was shadowed, and he was biting his lip again...Ale supposed he did that when he was uncertain.

Unthinkingly, his hand rose onto Perleman's face, touching his lip. And when his mouth opened a fraction, startled, Ale brushed his thumb over the teeth marks.

"And you could love no other?"

Perleman breathed out shallow and fast, and shook his head, his eyes dazed.

"None, I swear I have never loved no...no other woman than you, Gunnela," he swore earnestly, and Ale sighed.

He was feeling a strange regret, but at the same time his blood was singing at their proximity, his hand still sliding over Perleman's skin, tracing along his cheekbone. He was leaning closer, or perhaps Ale was, and then...then suddenly there was a laugh from the other side of the room, and Ale woke up from whatever spell he'd got caught up in.

He startled and drew back, and it was only then he realized the knight had at some point put both his arms around him in an embrace. Ale turned his face away from Perleman, feeling it heat up under the veil. Perleman drew back as well, and perhaps his face was flushed too, though it was hard to say for sure in the low light of the lamp.

"Say, Lady Gunnela...it is getting late," Knight Perleman said in a low, almost hesitant voice.

"Yes?" Ale replied, his own voice coming out breathy.

"Perhaps...perhaps we might go to bed?"

There was a long silence, and then Ale nodded, feeling almost as lightheaded as before, when he'd almost...well, he'd almost kissed Perleman, no way around it.

He wasn't surprised when Perleman led him to his own bed, mumbling something about it being the best in the house, and nothing better than the best being good enough for Gunnela.

Ale couldn't stifle his laugh at that, and how Perleman looked like he didn't even believe his own words, but he didn't say anything, just took off his headdress (certain the darkness would hide his features sufficiently) and uppermost dress, careful to leave it somewhere nearby so he could take it with him if...when he'd have to leave quickly.

He did worry a bit over exactly how eager the other man would be once they did settle on the soft mattress, but his worries turned out unnecessary. Knight Perleman settled on the bed next to him, but he didn't even reach out to touch, just lay there, stiff and awkward.

"A-are you comfortable? Is it too cold...or warm?" he asked.

"Yes," Ale answered, wondering what he should do, exactly. His and Gunnela's plan hadn't been very detailed, now he thought about it. Mostly "pretend to be me as long as you can," and he hadn't thought it would have worked as long as it had already...

Oh, damn it all. Since he'd already gone this far, might as well get what he could from it. He turned towards Perleman, leaning over his prone form, and kissed him, deep and slow. Perleman didn't respond at first, and then put a hand on Ale's waist. They kissed for a while, and then Ale leaned back again, sighing.

"Thank you for a pleasant evening," he said softly, "And for what it's worth, I'm sorry."

"Sorry?" Perleman repeated, baffled.

"See, I'm not Gunnela," Ale told him gently, getting up from the bed and gathering up Gunnela's dress as he did.

"What!?" It was almost a yelp, tinny and hurt, and Ale winced, even as he was turning to make his escape.

Lucky he'd thought about the plan enough to remember where the door was, even in the dark. And outside he found Gunnela as well, with the carriage and horses ready to go. She helped him up on it, and when he was settled behind her snapped the reins sharply, almost as skilfully as Ale himself would have done.

There was a cry and heavy footsteps behind them as Knight Perleman ran out to the yard, but the carriage was already moving away speedily. Ale turned to look as they did, and felt a pang at how desolate the proud man looked. He had a spear in his hand, the one on that had been on the wall above his bed, but it hung awkwardly in a limp hold, forgotten as he stared after the receding wagon. His face was a pale, betrayed oval in the light summer night, and Ale couldn't help another sigh.

Gunnela, though, was clearly in high spirits.

"Oh, that was wonderful!" she enthused. "He's sure to leave me alone after all that, huh? And you were perfect, letting him have a taste and then snatching it away," she cackled delightedly, and Ale gave her a dubious look.

"I wonder if I didn't get a bit carried away..." he mumbled, but Gunnela just turned towards him with a wry smile.

Oh, I wouldn't know," she said blithely, "Not as much as with the cook’s assistant in the stables last summer, I'm sure..."

Ale sputtered, and Gunnela's laughter rang out in the night air, trailing behind the speeding carriage.

*

Epilogue

It was a month later that Ale had taken a horse to the larger pasture next to his home castle, the one outside the walls, and was taking a break leaning against the fence, when there was a cough from behind him. He turned to look, and then stiffened, because it was Knight Perleman, standing next to his horse and giving him a dark look.

Or, Ale amended when he was not immediately attacked and run through with the sword hanging at Perleman's side, perhaps it was more of a wary look. Or sulky, even.

"Um, greetings," Ale said eventually.

Perleman didn't reply for a moment, and then looked away, into the distance over the pasture.

"Don't worry, I'm not going to do anything to you," he said broodily, and Ale nodded, grateful for the clarification. He glanced at Ale from the corned of his eye, and then away again, dark brows drawing into a frown.

"I suppose you...you and Lady Gunnela had a lot of fun, deceiving me," Perleman said bitterly.

"Uh, well, it was really mostly her idea..." Ale mumbled, earning another look, this time disbelieving.

"Really? But doesn't everyone love to laugh at stupid Knight Perleman, who cannot tell his sweetheart from a coachman? Why, maybe he'd rather have had the coachman anyway, wouldn't be the first..." he flush of anger suddenly fell away from Perleman's face and he seemed to swallow the remaining words, his gaze falling to the ground. He looked very tired and sad suddenly, and it wrenched at something in Ale's chest.

"Wouldn't it have, then? Because...I wouldn't laugh," he said softly, taking a risk on a hunch.

"You wouldn't?" Perleman asked suspiciously, but with a note of hesitant curiosity mixed in.

"No," Ale replied calmly, and then they just looked at each other for a long moment, trying to ascertain whether the other could be trusted.

Eventually Knight Perleman looked away again, but this time he was flushing with something else than anger.

"In that case...it was true I've never felt for any woman as for Lady Gunnela. And now...I suppose her purpose was to turn me off her. If so, it worked remarkably well," Perleman said, a faint note of bitterness rising to his voice once more. But then he shrugged. "I suppose it is just as well. I'm sure she'd have made my life a living hell had succeeded in marrying her."

Ale jumped over the fence separating them, and took the few steps between them to stand right in front of the knight.

"Yes," he agreed, "It is not wise to go against Lady Gunnela, and I've know her all my life so I know."

Knight Perleman smiled sheepishly.

"So I've noticed. She sent me a cradle! And a spoon and bowl, as if that wasn't bad enough..." he mumbled indignantly.

Ale laughed lowly.

"Let me guess, for my baby?"

"Yes, though there'd hardly have been need, even if you were a woman," he was not meeting Ale's eyes again, and he smiled, slow and wicked.

"Pity, that, don't you think?" Ale remarked in a low voice, "And say, of those kind eyes and fingers like the wings of a lark, what of them?

Knight Perleman did look at him then, earnest and open despite the blush, and took his hands in his.

"To tell you the truth...I noticed them a long time ago," he said.

The End

*

fandom:song, fanfic

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