Sad.
It's a very sad day for us today.
Seeing my little girl in so much pain and just this morning realizing she had turned a corner, made me understand she was ready to go. She was gaunt, sad and wreaked of urine, her dignity and self confidence shattered. And considering she was an emotional basket case from the get-go, I just couldn't bear to see her look at me with those "please just DO IT" eyes any longer. I wanted to be selfish and just keep her with me for a few more weeks, but knew she would just continue on her downward spiral of pain, misery and mental decay. So, today we had to make the hard decision to put her to sleep.
I know we did the right thing, but I still feel horrid guilt because she was my child, my reason for getting up every morning and my sunshine. I mean just look at the utter adoration on her face - she was looking at me when I took this photo and looked at me like this nearly everyday....except towards the end. She'd lost her spark and confidence we'd worked so hard to build together. I'm heart broken. Goodbye my little Penny. I love you - be safe and pain free in your next adventure.
EDIT: FYI, the doctors said she had some sort of inoperable cancer related to her bladder or urinary tract.
Seeing my little girl in so much pain and just this morning realizing she had turned a corner, made me understand she was ready to go. She was gaunt, sad and wreaked of urine, her dignity and self confidence shattered. And considering she was an emotional basket case from the get-go, I just couldn't bear to see her look at me with those "please just DO IT" eyes any longer. I wanted to be selfish and just keep her with me for a few more weeks, but knew she would just continue on her downward spiral of pain, misery and mental decay. So, today we had to make the hard decision to put her to sleep.
I know we did the right thing, but I still feel horrid guilt because she was my child, my reason for getting up every morning and my sunshine. I mean just look at the utter adoration on her face - she was looking at me when I took this photo and looked at me like this nearly everyday....except towards the end. She'd lost her spark and confidence we'd worked so hard to build together. I'm heart broken. Goodbye my little Penny. I love you - be safe and pain free in your next adventure.
EDIT: FYI, the doctors said she had some sort of inoperable cancer related to her bladder or urinary tract.