dumped...
Well .. I should have seen this coming, but in my oblivious 'vie en rose' I didn't .. Mike dumped me tonight .. well, I'm not sure that dumped is the correct term, since we weren't offically 'together'. However, we had been dating for a month, seeing each other 2-3 times a week, talking on the phone every few days .. It really seemed like things were going well. It didn't seem like just a casual fling, it seemed like we spent some really good times together.
He's leaving for a 2-3 week long business trip thursday, so i wanted to clarify where things stood b/w us before he left, so i asked him if we were exclusive, and he said no, then i asked if this was casual, and he said yes. It was very difficult for me to do, since I really really like him, but I told him I coudln't do the casual thing with him cuz i liked him too much, and I knew I'd get hurt .. and well, that was that.
I guess I don't regret it .. we had something good b/w for a while I think .. I was just much more into things than he was I assume. I'm going to miss him. He's the first guy in a very long time that I've really liked, and who's had his life together, he was educated, smart, funny, had a good job and a future .. but I guess I wasn't what he wanted ..
I know there's no point dwelling, it's just I thought I'd found someone that would make me happy, that would be worth my time. Not to say i'm not happy in my life as it is .. I am, I have wonderful friends, and I'm generally happy in life .. just since I've met him, I've felt happier. It's been so long since I've dated someone like him .. someone I could have serious discussions with, someone who was opinionated, someone who had an awesome sarcastic sense of humor, yet was shy and (seemingly) vulnerable and sensitive.
Anywyas, point of the story is .. guys suck .. they're all fucking assholes .. and now I'm seriously considering quitting boys all together, and becoming a lesbian. I could do it oculdn't I? .. sigh ... girls are just as complicated and irrational as boys I suppose .. so it'll never work.
I just hope that I can get over him .. he's been occupying my thoughts so much lately .. how am I going to get him out of my head, without crying all day? I'm a bit ashamed to say it .. but I feel somewhat broken hearted. I"m not saying I was madly in love with him .. but it still hurts alot.
boo .. going to drink more now .. to make myself happier .. then sleep i guess .. waking to a day of mopey emptiness tommorow...
He's leaving for a 2-3 week long business trip thursday, so i wanted to clarify where things stood b/w us before he left, so i asked him if we were exclusive, and he said no, then i asked if this was casual, and he said yes. It was very difficult for me to do, since I really really like him, but I told him I coudln't do the casual thing with him cuz i liked him too much, and I knew I'd get hurt .. and well, that was that.
I guess I don't regret it .. we had something good b/w for a while I think .. I was just much more into things than he was I assume. I'm going to miss him. He's the first guy in a very long time that I've really liked, and who's had his life together, he was educated, smart, funny, had a good job and a future .. but I guess I wasn't what he wanted ..
I know there's no point dwelling, it's just I thought I'd found someone that would make me happy, that would be worth my time. Not to say i'm not happy in my life as it is .. I am, I have wonderful friends, and I'm generally happy in life .. just since I've met him, I've felt happier. It's been so long since I've dated someone like him .. someone I could have serious discussions with, someone who was opinionated, someone who had an awesome sarcastic sense of humor, yet was shy and (seemingly) vulnerable and sensitive.
Anywyas, point of the story is .. guys suck .. they're all fucking assholes .. and now I'm seriously considering quitting boys all together, and becoming a lesbian. I could do it oculdn't I? .. sigh ... girls are just as complicated and irrational as boys I suppose .. so it'll never work.
I just hope that I can get over him .. he's been occupying my thoughts so much lately .. how am I going to get him out of my head, without crying all day? I'm a bit ashamed to say it .. but I feel somewhat broken hearted. I"m not saying I was madly in love with him .. but it still hurts alot.
boo .. going to drink more now .. to make myself happier .. then sleep i guess .. waking to a day of mopey emptiness tommorow...