fucking nicotine
well, i'm finally doing it. i'm quitting smoking. that's right, i guess i'm a quitter. i've only had one today. you didn't think i'd go cold turkey and end up like alex, on and off every 5 minutes did you? oh well, nothing personal alex it's just funny to read about how you're quitting every other day. anyways, things with Janien are pretty good i think. we went to the fair last night though and i was in a shitty mood all night long. i don't know why, i just was. i think it might've had something to do with my parents and stuff. i just haven't been having a very good week. ugh. it's just like i feel like screaming "FUCK YOU" all the time. maybe there's something wrong with me. i don't know. my mom is reccomending this antidepressent medicine to quit smoking. the doctor told her it was the same shit that's in nicorette gum. i don't know. i really don't. i'm fucked. i'm done for tonight. my creative thought output has reached fucking zero.
p.s. i didn't write this for me
that is hateful...hateful...and it seems that your pheonix is bursting to life again from the ashes of your broken heart where it crashed and burned and left a crater impacted on your soul, scarred and seared into the dark corners of your mind until you can't take the heat and scream out in anguish, disturbed forever by the one who used you, who amused you, who kept egging you on till he confused you. this is the one who will crumble, fall down and stumble cause he's lost his way. he will realize too late what he's lost and won't get back again. or will he? will he prove to be such a pitiful being that you end up seeing the same thing in him that you see every time and when you should be fleeing you end up being right next to him picking up his crumpled self, get his parts off the shelf and glue him together again like the humpty dumpty he's determined to be if you don't see the light and fight your way away from this night and make things right by leaving inspite of what seems to be and just fly your kite over and out of the cool air tonight and ride with the bright and shooting stars and let the men from mars be gone, as if they were behind bars and forget the cars and trucks and geese and ducks and just be gone with the wind, let the past be the facts and the future be the hopes and dreams of forever, amen.
p.s. i didn't write this for me
that is hateful...hateful...and it seems that your pheonix is bursting to life again from the ashes of your broken heart where it crashed and burned and left a crater impacted on your soul, scarred and seared into the dark corners of your mind until you can't take the heat and scream out in anguish, disturbed forever by the one who used you, who amused you, who kept egging you on till he confused you. this is the one who will crumble, fall down and stumble cause he's lost his way. he will realize too late what he's lost and won't get back again. or will he? will he prove to be such a pitiful being that you end up seeing the same thing in him that you see every time and when you should be fleeing you end up being right next to him picking up his crumpled self, get his parts off the shelf and glue him together again like the humpty dumpty he's determined to be if you don't see the light and fight your way away from this night and make things right by leaving inspite of what seems to be and just fly your kite over and out of the cool air tonight and ride with the bright and shooting stars and let the men from mars be gone, as if they were behind bars and forget the cars and trucks and geese and ducks and just be gone with the wind, let the past be the facts and the future be the hopes and dreams of forever, amen.