sundays r bitches
last nite i ended up workin but i got out early. eric picked me up with lauren n robin n zach n everyone was at amys so that ended up to be a problem so robin n lauren haded to get picked up by bryan so then we can hang out with everyone else. we ended up goin to bk. we were there for liek 5 hours n then decided to go to amys house. we started to watch a movie n i gotted bored. i figured that if eric n matt were out then i should go out with them. yes guys i ditched u...i didnt mean to..i fuckin realize what i did. i didnt even want it to end up this way. i also lied cause i said i was goin home. i didnt even realize i said this but now i do n it was very stupid of me. i get it all that i ditched u guys n lied n all i can say is im sry. i understand that u wouldnt expect this comin from me..n now that i think of it neither did i. but its the first time i did it, and i know now to REALLY take a good look at what ur doin. i wont do it again, and if i do then u know u cant trust me, but i believe in second chances, so until i do fuck up again, i deserve another chance. i understand what i did but i think a lot of this comes from me liekin eric. i didnt leave because of eric...i left cause i figured if eric and matt were out jus drivin around n stuff then id rather be out then jus watchina movie. so i ended up leavin with them. when i got home that nite, no where in my mind flashed that ne one was gunna b mad. i didnt even think i did ne thing wrong. i dont know how i didnt think i did ne thing wrong but i just didnt. i mean i dont know how to prove to u guys that im tryin to get over eric. its fuckin hard jus cause erics one of my best friends to. people dont know the difference when im jus goin to hang out with eric or if im tryin to just get with eric. well mostly everytime its jus to hang out with eric as friends. i know theres no future, and i dont plan for there to be so dont think i think that. if i had the chance to stop liekin him i woulda takin it liek b4 i kissed him. but the thing is U CANT HELP UR FEELINGS.. if we could all help our feelings, things would be soooooo much different. im gunna go get yelled at a coupple more times today...bye