The Callback
Yesterday while in the lunch meeting, I pounded out an email on my phone under the table. When the conference room phone rang, I rose involuntarily to answer it. It was Big Boss. "Hi! I'm gonna be comin' by in about 30 minutes to pick you up. I need you to drive my car when I go to pick up my newest car at the dealership. Can you stay there??" ("But you don't have a 2-3 additional thousand dollars per year to add to my salary?", I thought.)
"I'm not going anywhere", I told him. Needless to say, I wasn't looking forward to being cooped up in a confined space with him for God-knows-how-long. I also wasn't looking forward to the inevitable awkward silence, sliced occasionally by his consistently redundant, dead-eyed, empty line of questioning. I took a deep breath and decided I'd just recline my seat and close my eyes. Perhaps if I appeared to be resting, he wouldn't regale me with questions previously asked and answered, roughly one million times. There are no words to describe how rude it is that I've worked for this man for five years, yet he still can't remember any basic information about me. (Basically what he remembers is that I have siblings and parents, which I think envelopes about 80% of the known world.)
He arrived and I reported to the hall for duty. We headed for his top-of-the-line SUV. I hopped in the passenger's side while he darted around the vehicle. He opened the back door and pulled out a stack of documents. He announced that he'd forgotten to make copies of invoices he'd pulled from the seat and that it would take him a minute to do it. I wondered if this was a test, since last time he displayed any initiative; it was a test to see if I would volunteer to check storage for a file I knew wasn't there. Unfortunately for him, I'm not into wasting my time, his money, or punishing myself by working backwards.
Regardless, I took the opportunity to say "Can I make those copies for you?". I tried to sound as genuine as possible. He said 'no, but thanks for asking'. I rolled my eyes, safely walking behind him. He made his copies and we headed out again. We arrived at a shipping store, where he remembered something else we had to go back to the office for. He ran into the store, after I asked if I could do it for him, then returned the vehicle. We returned to the office. He asked me to run in and grab a few checks. I did.
From there, we went to the bank where he proceeded to dump several checks, made out for several thousand dollars, into his spend-thrift counterpart's personal accounts. (Yet again, he still can't seem to find 2-3 additional thousand dollars per year to add to my salary?) I rolled my eyes again. Afterward, we were finally on our way to pick up his newest vehicle.
As predicted, he commenced the usual line of questioning. "Soooo...anything exciting happening in your life?", he asked. I told him 'no, it was mostly banal minutia at this point'. "Soooo...what's your sister up to these days?" I reminded him she's still in college, has one year to go, then she's off to grad school. I probably could've said something like "Oh, she spends her time sliding upside-down on a pole and recently learned the hard way that you can get a yeast infection from a rolled-up dollar bill" and he wouldn't even have noticed. "Oh, really?! What's she going to grad school for?", he asked. "Speech Pathology", I answered. "I think she became interested in that field because our younger brother on that side had a speech impediment as a child. It was never really a problem, we just told people he was from Boston", I continued, unnecessarily. At that, he began giggling maniacally under his breath. It was so odd, I turned to look at him. He stopped briefly, then began giggling again when I turned away.
"Interesting....", I thought. "Soooo...your mom lives here now?" "Yes. In B.A." I continued in my mind, "You don't remember that from the last 3,000 times you've asked and been told?" "That's good. You two are friends?" I told him we were, but that we both have our days. "I have mine too", was his response. I took a moment and pondered whether that was a reference to his INSANE outburst a few weeks back regarding the storage. I doubted he realizes he does anything wrong. When you truly believe you draw the lines, it becomes hard for you to over-step them.
The rest of the trip was quiet, other than my occasionally giving him directions when asked. We arrived and parked next to his newest SUV. It looks exactly like an older one he bought less than a year ago (color and everything), except that it's a newer, model. He ran in, after I asked if I could run in for him. Before closing the driver's door he said "Don't leave without me." I didn't bother to respond. I switched from the passenger's seat to the driver's seat and turned on the radio. Only serial killers drive in silence. I found a station and turned it up LOUD, testing the system in his SUV. It's pretty incredible. I turned it back down a little and sang along to a few songs before he re-emerged from the dealership.
He jogged up to his newest clone-of-a-car and hopped in. (I considered asking if I could drive it for him, but doubted he would catch the jab.) From there, we drove to another dealership where we left the newest clone-of-a-car to be detailed. I switched back from the driver's seat to the passenger's while he was inside, after asking if I could run inside for him. I left the radio on, but turned it down. I thought that might detour him from speaking to me on the drive back.
He returned again, hopped in the driver's seat, and drove away mumbling "These bastards are fk'n me BIG TIME." I smiled. I hoped he was feeling even one iota of what I feel every day I arrive at the office and sit down at my desk.
When I left for the day, my cell phone rang as I was pulling into my garage. It was the new attorney. He set an appointment for my second interview next Monday after work.
"I'm not going anywhere", I told him. Needless to say, I wasn't looking forward to being cooped up in a confined space with him for God-knows-how-long. I also wasn't looking forward to the inevitable awkward silence, sliced occasionally by his consistently redundant, dead-eyed, empty line of questioning. I took a deep breath and decided I'd just recline my seat and close my eyes. Perhaps if I appeared to be resting, he wouldn't regale me with questions previously asked and answered, roughly one million times. There are no words to describe how rude it is that I've worked for this man for five years, yet he still can't remember any basic information about me. (Basically what he remembers is that I have siblings and parents, which I think envelopes about 80% of the known world.)
He arrived and I reported to the hall for duty. We headed for his top-of-the-line SUV. I hopped in the passenger's side while he darted around the vehicle. He opened the back door and pulled out a stack of documents. He announced that he'd forgotten to make copies of invoices he'd pulled from the seat and that it would take him a minute to do it. I wondered if this was a test, since last time he displayed any initiative; it was a test to see if I would volunteer to check storage for a file I knew wasn't there. Unfortunately for him, I'm not into wasting my time, his money, or punishing myself by working backwards.
Regardless, I took the opportunity to say "Can I make those copies for you?". I tried to sound as genuine as possible. He said 'no, but thanks for asking'. I rolled my eyes, safely walking behind him. He made his copies and we headed out again. We arrived at a shipping store, where he remembered something else we had to go back to the office for. He ran into the store, after I asked if I could do it for him, then returned the vehicle. We returned to the office. He asked me to run in and grab a few checks. I did.
From there, we went to the bank where he proceeded to dump several checks, made out for several thousand dollars, into his spend-thrift counterpart's personal accounts. (Yet again, he still can't seem to find 2-3 additional thousand dollars per year to add to my salary?) I rolled my eyes again. Afterward, we were finally on our way to pick up his newest vehicle.
As predicted, he commenced the usual line of questioning. "Soooo...anything exciting happening in your life?", he asked. I told him 'no, it was mostly banal minutia at this point'. "Soooo...what's your sister up to these days?" I reminded him she's still in college, has one year to go, then she's off to grad school. I probably could've said something like "Oh, she spends her time sliding upside-down on a pole and recently learned the hard way that you can get a yeast infection from a rolled-up dollar bill" and he wouldn't even have noticed. "Oh, really?! What's she going to grad school for?", he asked. "Speech Pathology", I answered. "I think she became interested in that field because our younger brother on that side had a speech impediment as a child. It was never really a problem, we just told people he was from Boston", I continued, unnecessarily. At that, he began giggling maniacally under his breath. It was so odd, I turned to look at him. He stopped briefly, then began giggling again when I turned away.
"Interesting....", I thought. "Soooo...your mom lives here now?" "Yes. In B.A." I continued in my mind, "You don't remember that from the last 3,000 times you've asked and been told?" "That's good. You two are friends?" I told him we were, but that we both have our days. "I have mine too", was his response. I took a moment and pondered whether that was a reference to his INSANE outburst a few weeks back regarding the storage. I doubted he realizes he does anything wrong. When you truly believe you draw the lines, it becomes hard for you to over-step them.
The rest of the trip was quiet, other than my occasionally giving him directions when asked. We arrived and parked next to his newest SUV. It looks exactly like an older one he bought less than a year ago (color and everything), except that it's a newer, model. He ran in, after I asked if I could run in for him. Before closing the driver's door he said "Don't leave without me." I didn't bother to respond. I switched from the passenger's seat to the driver's seat and turned on the radio. Only serial killers drive in silence. I found a station and turned it up LOUD, testing the system in his SUV. It's pretty incredible. I turned it back down a little and sang along to a few songs before he re-emerged from the dealership.
He jogged up to his newest clone-of-a-car and hopped in. (I considered asking if I could drive it for him, but doubted he would catch the jab.) From there, we drove to another dealership where we left the newest clone-of-a-car to be detailed. I switched back from the driver's seat to the passenger's while he was inside, after asking if I could run inside for him. I left the radio on, but turned it down. I thought that might detour him from speaking to me on the drive back.
He returned again, hopped in the driver's seat, and drove away mumbling "These bastards are fk'n me BIG TIME." I smiled. I hoped he was feeling even one iota of what I feel every day I arrive at the office and sit down at my desk.
When I left for the day, my cell phone rang as I was pulling into my garage. It was the new attorney. He set an appointment for my second interview next Monday after work.