Jul 21, 2004 00:22
Ok, so i'm having a bad two weeks...or it's more of a contiuation of a bad year, considering it's all about the same stuff. I don't know why i've come down so hard this time tho. I mean, usually i'll have little bouts of sadness, not full blown near-depression. I just...i hate that guys are all i can think about. I hate that i cry when i listen to love songs and watch romantic stuff. I hate that I can't keep guys around - i always mess it up somehow. I hate how i cry when my two best friends go on a double date. I just feel forgotten, stupid, and ugly. I know it's 95% the period, but still, it sucks lol.
i hate how i'm so stupid that i think that an amazing guy whom i've liked for a while, albeit not that strongly until lately, could like me back. I hate how desperate my heart is. I hate how i get naked for boys - not necessarily physically, either. I hate how i know exactly how to fix this and I won't do it. I can't do it, for some reason. I hate how i can't just forget about guys. I hate how lonely i feel, because i'm not unloved. I hate how much i eat. I hate how lazy i am. I hate how stupid i am. I....I don't even know anymore. i feel so depressed right now. I hate it. And the person i usually talk to about it isn't here to talk to...not his fault, tho :) I'll get over it. talk to me in a week, right?