(no subject)
It's almost five am. I've avoided my bed because it seems small and empty. And my old room, doesn't seem like my room. I miss him, but I'm not sure exactly what about him I miss. I feel horrible, confused, ashamed, embarrassed. I can't even really talk about it. All the lies. At times I wonder why I left. If there wasn't more I could do to actually save the relationship. I'm at the point right now where I don't understand the phrase: it is better to have loved and lost, then to have never loved at all. Because the ending of this one, it's killed me just a little bit. I don't want to see anyone or be around anyone. I don't want to get out of bed half the time. And yet tomorrow, there's so much for me do.