(one shot) MOTHER/FATHER

Aug 17, 2009 14:17


Title: MOTHER/FATHER
Author: quinnsan 
Group(s): KAT-TUN, mentions of NEWS and Kinki Kids (Koichi)
Pairing: TaNaka, hints of Akame, JunDa, KoyaShige and KusaChi.
Genre: Crack, fluff, oh and did I say crack?
Rating: PG-13 for some swearing
Flame?: None. ^^
Summary: After witnessing how motherly Koyama acts towards his bandmates, and drags Shige into it as well, Maru is inspired and after convincing Koki to help him, the two decide to try and be parents towards their bandmates.
Beta’d By: dritree 
A.N.: Ok first of all I want to say that this fic is NOT a song fic, nor is it based off of KAT-TUN’s song, MOTHER/FATHER. I just needed a title for this fic, and this is what came to mind. Plus it’s pretty funny. I sadly do not own any of the boys… though we all know we’d love to own at least one of them.
X-Posted to: kattunlove , kattun_fanfics , jent_fanfics , wasurenaisa 
Dedication: This is a really really late birthday present for Nya, but I hope you like it anyways. xDD
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Maru was walking down the hallway, having decided he felt like just walking around the building during a break in practice, and currently he was on the floor where NEWS’s changing room was and was walking past their changing room when he saw something through the open door that made him pause and go back for a second look.

Koyama was standing in front of a slightly annoyed looking Nishikido who had some dirt across one of his cheeks. “Ryo you need to hold still if I’m going to get this dirt off!” Maru heard Koyama say to Ryo who was squirming around trying to get away from Koyama who had spit on a napkin and was now trying to wipe the dirt off of Ryo’s face.

“But you spit on a napkin and you’re trying to wipe it on my sexy Osakan face!”

“Shige come over here and hold him still for me will you?” Shige, while looking a little afraid that Ryo would hit him got up and stood behind Ryo and held the other man’s arms tightly at his side.

“You should have just let him wipe the dirt off the way he wanted Ryo, then you wouldn’t have to be held still like a kid who refuses to take medication because he doesn’t like the taste.”

“Oh shut up Shige.”
Koyama, having gotten the dirt off smiled at Ryo and then looked over his shoulder at Shige and smiled at him as well. “There now, that wasn’t so bad now was it Ryo?”

“Yeah it wasn’t that bad right?” Shige said as he released Ryo’s arms and ran behind Koyama just in case Ryo felt like hitting him for saying that. Ryo however, as Maru saw, just glared and went to sit on the couch between Yamapi and Uchi who were playing some card game with Kusano.

“Nakamaru?”

Maru jumped at the voice that was suddenly heard from behind him, his jumping had caused him to drop his cellphone, which brought his presence to the attention of Koyama and Shige who wandered out into the hall as soon as they saw him.

Maru turned to see who was behind him and saw that it was the two NEWS members (Tegoshi and Massu) that hadn’t been in the room. “Oh, hey Tegoshi, Massu.” Maru said nodding his head towards his friend, who was sporting some sort of starry patterned sweatpants and a yellow jacket zipped halfway, revealing the plain white t-shirt underneath it.

“What are you doing up here?” Shige asked, wondering what the reason for Maru being on their floor was.

“Oh well KAT-TUN’s taking a half hour break from practice and I decided to take a walk around the building.” Maru said, speaking the truth, but not saying that the reason for the break was that Jin had kept whining about wanting popcorn and how he wouldn’t be able to really concentrate until he got some.

“Let me guess Bakanishi started whining about wanting something and how he wouldn’t be able to concentrate until he got it?” Ryo said, an amused smirk on his face as he entered the hallway.

“Yeah that would be exactly it. He wanted popcorn and since we all got so sick of his whining we decided to let him go get some to shut him up.”

Maru looked at his watch and saw that practice would be starting again soon. “Well I’d better get going. I’ll see you guys later…Koyama, Shige I’ll see you guys at dinner tonight, my place and don’t forget the movies this time ok?” Maru said before walking away, heading back to his group’s floor. Leaving Koyama and Shige to only nod in response to what he said and Ryo teasing them about having a double date with Koki and Maru.

~ The next day~

“Koki please I think it’ll do our group some good if there are mother and father figures around!”

“Yeah but why do I have to do it too? You can be the mother and the father and that’ll be good enough.”

“Koki you can be the father.” Maru said in a final effort to get Koki to agree.

“..fine. I’ll do it but I am not going to do anything stupid like bathe them because they’re grown men, they can bathe themselves. And besides the only one I want to bathe is you.” Koki said, leering at Maru with a perverted look on his face.

At that moment Maru noticed Junno coming up behind Koki in the hall and so he smacked Koki on the head. “Not in front of the kids Koki!”

“Oww! What the fuck do you mean not in front of the kids?!”

Maru smacked Koki on the head again. “No swearing either!”

“But Jin swears more than me and in English too!”

“I don’t care it sets a bad example for them if you swear in front of them!”

“Morning guys~ Are you two having a little lovers fight?” Junno asked, stopping beside Koki, and that turned out to be a mistake because Koki reached over and smacked Junno.

“Koki don’t hit Junno that’s child abuse! Junno are you ok, did the mean old Koki hurt you?” Maru said first speaking to Koki in an angry tone and then to Junno in a really sweet and kind of scary tone.

“Umm..yeah I’m fine. I’m going to go get ready for practice now...see you guys in a bit..” Junno said running down the hall and into KAT-TUN’s changing room.

“Don’t run Junno you might hurt yourself!” Maru shouted after Junno, but the other didn’t listen and kept on running, Koki just looked amused at what Maru had just said and was staring at Maru with one eyebrow raised.

“What?” Maru asked when he noticed Koki looking at him.

“You were really acting like a mother, because I know my mom told me countless times as a kid not to run.” Koki said as he hugged Maru who just smacked Koki on the arm in reply before walking off down the hall.

“Come on Koki we have to go Jin-proof the changing room.”

“Yeah but isn’t that usually Kame’s job?”

“Yes but today we’re the parents so we’re going to do it.”

“Aww man I don’t want to!”

“Do you want to be a single parent Koki?” Maru said in a tone that indicated that if Koki didn’t stop whining he’d be taking care of the rest of the group by himself for the rest of the day and so Koki immediately shut up and shook his head.

When they entered the room they found that Tatsuya was already there and he was giving Junno a death glare for having the video game he was playing on full blast. “Junno turn the volume down please.” Koki asked, using a gentle tone, but it fell on deaf ears because Junno either didn’t hear him or was just ignoring him.

“I will count to 10 and if you don’t turn the volume down so it doesn’t bother Tatsuya then I’m unplugging the TV and you won’t be allowed to play video games for the rest of the day.” That got Junno to pay attention as he whipped his head around to look at Koki, his eyes asking if Koki was serious and when he looked into Koki’s eyes he knew he was so he immediately turned the volume down low, just loud enough for him to hear but not too loud so it wouldn’t bother anyone else in the room.

“Good boy. Are you happy now Tat-chan?” Koki asked walking over to Tatsuya and patting the other on the head, which just resulted in Koki getting punched in the stomach and while he was doubled over in pain Maru was reprimanding Tatsuya for what he had done.

“Tatsuya you should know better than to hit others. It’s not very nice and Koki didn’t mean any harm by patting you on the head.”

“Are you two feeling alright? Your acting like your our parents or something…oh my god you are aren’t you?” Tatsuya asked, finally realizing Maru and Koki’s true intentions.

“We have no idea what you’re talking about Tatsuya, now just remember not to hit anyone again alright? Violence is not the answer. Oh good morning Jin, good morning Kame you guys are right on time! Koki was just about to order breakfast for everyone so be sure to tell him what you’d like and Jin do not go ordering a lot of food you think you’ll eat but will end up not eating, that’s a waste of food.” Maru said, his attention turning to Jin and Kame who had just arrived, and as he spoke he ignored Koki’s protest at having to buy breakfast for everyone.

“…huh?”

“Just don’t order more food than you think you’ll eat Jin, otherwise if you do you aren’t allowed to leave until you eat all of it.” Koki said, an evil smirk on his face that had Jin saying that he just wanted pancakes and bacon and some orange juice, soon everyone placed their orders and then when the food arrived from the cafeteria downstairs they all began to eat but not before Koki and Maru went around making sure that everyone had their food and that Jin was wearing a bib so he wouldn’t spill food all over himself.

“I spill on myself just one time and you guys are making me wear a bib today?!”

“Yes now shut up or else we’ll make Junno feed you.” Koki said, which made Maru and Junno frown, Jin cower in fear and Kame and Tatsuya laugh.

Half an hour later found the group practicing a dance routine and when Junno slipped and fell (Though it was Jin’s fault he fell since had spilled water all over the floor), Koki and Maru immediately rushed over to him and began asking him where it hurt and if he was ok and did he think he needed to go see a doctor.

“Guys I’m fine, I’m an adult and I can take care of myself. You two are acting like you’re my parents or something.” Junno said as he got up (with Tatsuya’s help).

“Well of course we’re acting like we’re your parents.” Koki said, which caused Maru to smack a hand to his own forehead.

“Koki you weren’t supposed to tell them that!”

“Well you didn’t tell me not too!”

“I thought it was implied that you weren’t supposed to tell them!”

“Wait you guys have been pretending to be our parents? Is that why I had to wear that stupid bib?!” Jin shouted, looking at Maru and Koki with surprised eyes.

“Is that why I had to turn down the volume on my video game this morning?!” Junno said, speaking up.

“Oh come on now, I can’t be the only one who realized what they were doing long before this.”

“I think you were Tat-chan, because even I didn’t realize it.” Kame said as he spoke up.

“You two are so dead!” Jin said, launching himself at Koki, having decided he would go after him first and then Maru.

“Now Jin calm down! I said..Oww what the fuck did you throw that at me for?!” Maru yelled, having been hit in the face with one of Koki’s shoes which Jin had managed to wrestle off.

“Guys calm down, it’s not a big deal! They were just trying to have some fun, I’m sure they’re intentions were good.” Kame said, trying to be the voice of reason as Maru had jumped onto Jin’s back and started pulling the other’s hair in retaliation for throwing a shoe at his face.

Unfortunately no one was listening as Koki’s other shoe came flying at Kame (Having been thrown by Junno of all people, who had gotten into the fight after Koki managed to kick him) and so he too joined in the fight as well.

The only one not fighting was Tatsuya who was standing a little way apart from his fighting bandmates. But that didn’t last long because Jin started saying that Tatsuya was too scared and too weak to fight, and that earned him a black eye from Tatsuya.

Meanwhile watching from the open doorway to KAT-TUN’s practice room was Koyama, Shige, Kusano and Uchi.

“Tsk, they really need to learn how to control their anger.” Kusano said, an amused look on his face, but Uchi was holding him back to keep him from running into the room to save Kame from his bandmates. “Your one to talk Notti, your trying to go in there and save your beloved Kame from his bandmates.”

“He may be my beloved Kame but only in the friendship sense. In the romantic sense you’re my beloved Uchi~” Kusano said, which earn him a smack on the head from Shige who told him and Uchi to get a room.

“Well they tried and that counts for something right Shige?” Koyama said, wrapping an arm around Shige’s waist.

“Yeah I guess it does. And I guess that KAT-TUN just isn’t meant to have mother and father figures in the same way NEWS does.”

The six men eventually stopped fighting when Koichi who had been walking past their practice room, came in and told them to keep the damn noise down and at least shut the door if they were going to have a group orgy.

“We aren’t having a group orgy! We’re fighting! And besides I don’t want to share my Kazu-chan with anyone!” Jin shouted from where he was laying on the ground.

“I don’t care what you guys were doing, just keep the noise down next time, oh and you might want to go get some ice, since all of you are going to need it.” Koichi said before he left, heading back to his own practice room.

OWARI!~ ((This one took me a while to finish, but I finally got it done and I’m very happy with how it turned out~ ^^))

koyashige, ueda, akame, shige, kat-tun, tegoshi, maru, kusano, kame, tanaka, koki, massu, kinki kids, koyama, junno, ryo, uchi, jin, news, junda, kusachi

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