Who did I piss off in a former life..........
"I love my kids." I find myself repeating that a lot today in hopes of preventing a murder suicide. Ok, so that's a little dramatic. I can see the humor in the situation now, but an hour ago? Well, we are all still breathing. Granted, everything smells like Goldbond Powder, but we are breathing. I'm jumping the gun a bit. Let me rewind the story for you. The first disaster that lead to my more recent one happened on Monday. The air conditioner blew up. I'm serious, there was smoke and everything. My landlord just brought some window units yesterday. So I had to deal with North Carolina heat for 5 friggin days. I'm a stay at home mom of 2 little boys. Oh and we live in a trailer, it was torture. So me being the ever practical one, loaded like 8 pages of h/g fanfics on my laptop, got happy meals for the boys, and parked in the Walmart parking lot for a few hours a day while the hubby was at work. I know, I'm a genius. Anyway, it still gets a little warm during the day in the boy's room so I put a fan back there for them. Well, on Friday, my husband was packing for a trip and left a zip lock bag that had some toiletry items (including 2 travel size bottles of Goldbond Powder) in it on an end table in the living room. I know, at this point you are probably putting 2 and 2 together. But at that point, I didn't realize that it meant imminent doom. But yes, in the mind of a 4 year old, big fan set on high + 2 bottles of goldbond powder = a hole lot of fun!!! Yeah, not so much for Mommy. I thought my minions were being a little too quiet so I went to their room to check. I open the door and get hit in the face with that wonderful medicated scent from hell. EVERYTHING in that room had a nice thin coating of powder on it. Apparently the 4 year old got bored with that and went straight to dumping it over the 2 year old's head. Yeah, poor Josh looked like he belonged to the Cullens. His hair was white, his skin was white, even his effin purple LSU jersey came out white and that's not easy to do. I swear those children should never itch again!
Ok, this is for all you mothers out there that may find yourselves in a similar situation. DO NOT USE THE VACUUM CLEANER WITHOUT A FACE MASK. It hurts. Just don't do it. I'm lucky enough to actually own a gas mask but I know a lot of you probably don't. Covering your face with a wet towel is just as effective. This is one of those vacuum, let dust settle, repeat situations. It is also better to dust the children off REALLY well before giving them a bath. Goldbond powder + water = world's stickiest paste.
Ok, this is for all you mothers out there that may find yourselves in a similar situation. DO NOT USE THE VACUUM CLEANER WITHOUT A FACE MASK. It hurts. Just don't do it. I'm lucky enough to actually own a gas mask but I know a lot of you probably don't. Covering your face with a wet towel is just as effective. This is one of those vacuum, let dust settle, repeat situations. It is also better to dust the children off REALLY well before giving them a bath. Goldbond powder + water = world's stickiest paste.