Sorry to be gloomy, but...
When I got to work friday morning, a coworker told me that someone I used to work with at the PetroCan on River Road was dead.
"Body identified as that of missing local woman"
Kataryna was from the Ukraine. She was one of my favourite co-workers to be shifted on with, especially for an evening shift. In the evenings things would get really slow, and once everything was cleaned and stocked, you wound up having to talk to whoever you were on with. Her english wasn't very good, so she was always asking me questions about grammar. What does this word mean, how do you pronounce it, how do you use it in a sentence? She was also very curious about all the stuff we sold, what are the different fluids used for, where do they go, what do the numbers on the oil cans mean? She would also tell me about growing up in the Ukraine. She liked the bread much better over there, and thought the bread you bought in supermarkets was terrible. Her mom used to call her a monkey because she used to climb everything, and had a liking for bananas. She seemed to find a lot of humour around her, because she was almost always smiling. If we hadn't been co workers, I would have been tempted to ask her out, although I'm glad I didn't because I might not have wound up with Jenn if I had.
If she had died of an accident, like a car crash or house fire, or if she had died of a natural cause, like cancer, the news would be easier to take. I hadn't really talked to her for about seven years, although when I started at Seaside Paper she worked at the Chevron nearby and I'd see her around sometimes. When you're on that level of acquaintance with someone and you find out they've died, you're saddened, and you stop to think about them every now and then, but for the most part you keep moving on because fate hasn't drawn your number yet. The thing that's wearing on my mind right now is the fact that Kataryna should be in the same boat as the rest of us. She should be hearing about other people who have died of natural causes or accidents, and getting on with her life. Fate never called her number, someone chose to intercede on Fate's behalf. She's dead because someone chose to kill her. I just can't picture it. Even if her killer didn't mean for her to die, I can't picture anyone wanting to do her harm. I'm having a hard time believing it's real.
Also, I'm not sure how strongly I'm supposed to react. I find myself second guessing the way I feel. It's been years since I've seen her, and we weren't any closer than co workers who had casual conversations, am I dwelling on it too much? But I was attracted, I cared at least a little, should I be more distraught? I'm not falling to pieces, I don't need to take time off work or anything, but I keep thinking about her and feeling sad. I guess that's about right.
Another thing that makes me feel sad is that I don't think she had many friends. I could be wrong, I hope there's more than a handful of people who are going to miss and remember her, especially people that knew her better than I did.
"Body identified as that of missing local woman"
Kataryna was from the Ukraine. She was one of my favourite co-workers to be shifted on with, especially for an evening shift. In the evenings things would get really slow, and once everything was cleaned and stocked, you wound up having to talk to whoever you were on with. Her english wasn't very good, so she was always asking me questions about grammar. What does this word mean, how do you pronounce it, how do you use it in a sentence? She was also very curious about all the stuff we sold, what are the different fluids used for, where do they go, what do the numbers on the oil cans mean? She would also tell me about growing up in the Ukraine. She liked the bread much better over there, and thought the bread you bought in supermarkets was terrible. Her mom used to call her a monkey because she used to climb everything, and had a liking for bananas. She seemed to find a lot of humour around her, because she was almost always smiling. If we hadn't been co workers, I would have been tempted to ask her out, although I'm glad I didn't because I might not have wound up with Jenn if I had.
If she had died of an accident, like a car crash or house fire, or if she had died of a natural cause, like cancer, the news would be easier to take. I hadn't really talked to her for about seven years, although when I started at Seaside Paper she worked at the Chevron nearby and I'd see her around sometimes. When you're on that level of acquaintance with someone and you find out they've died, you're saddened, and you stop to think about them every now and then, but for the most part you keep moving on because fate hasn't drawn your number yet. The thing that's wearing on my mind right now is the fact that Kataryna should be in the same boat as the rest of us. She should be hearing about other people who have died of natural causes or accidents, and getting on with her life. Fate never called her number, someone chose to intercede on Fate's behalf. She's dead because someone chose to kill her. I just can't picture it. Even if her killer didn't mean for her to die, I can't picture anyone wanting to do her harm. I'm having a hard time believing it's real.
Also, I'm not sure how strongly I'm supposed to react. I find myself second guessing the way I feel. It's been years since I've seen her, and we weren't any closer than co workers who had casual conversations, am I dwelling on it too much? But I was attracted, I cared at least a little, should I be more distraught? I'm not falling to pieces, I don't need to take time off work or anything, but I keep thinking about her and feeling sad. I guess that's about right.
Another thing that makes me feel sad is that I don't think she had many friends. I could be wrong, I hope there's more than a handful of people who are going to miss and remember her, especially people that knew her better than I did.