(no subject)
My parents really have never given me a solid reason for sending me to Catholic school(I really dont hate my parents for it, they were probably trying to do the best they could). My mom told me things about how when I went to public school in kindergarten I used to cry because I didnt have pretty dresses or something (cause we didnt have enough money), so they sent me to Catholic school where they had uniforms. That doesnt really add up seeing that Catholic school had tuition and those uniforms werent cheap (thats why I only had two of them). Probably some screwed up thing with my grandmother disapproving of my father's divorce and forcing guilt upon him to raise his kids as catholics. Either way my grandmother resented me when I was born, what kind of grandmother doesnt acknowlege her own granddaughter at Christmas? I was 1 month old. Anyways...guilt. I still carry around that stupid catholic feeling of guilt deep down even though I recognize that catholicism is in no way a true path to God. I still hate myself vemonously. And thats why I let people do things to me they shouldnt have.
Sorry this has turned into my own personal thearapy session with myself.
Im gonna attempt to study all day.